As some of you girls may know I have had to overcome a lot of things in my life, social phobia and anxiety was definitely one. But the real changing point for me was when I realize there's only one person in the world that can embarrass, humiliate, looked down, be self-conscious about or uncomfortable at me, and that's myself, once I realized this, everything became easier. I no longer care what other people think of me say to me, it's my belief that if you are embarrassed or humiliated or any of the other associated feelings. It's because something they said or did has a ring of truth to it, but knowing who I am and where I'm going. I just don't let anybody get to me in that way anymore. I guess it does come from an inner strength and a will to be happy and I hope and pray that everybody finds this happiness may the Angels always look upon you and guide you on your journey.

Hugs,

Melissa Ann

Social stigma is going to be my most difficult hurdle in my early to mid-times prior to full transition.

I am a very social cat, both professionally and in my myriad outside interests and community activism. At 53, my standing and place in society is fairly cemented in concrete; this change will be highly difficult not only for myself and my nuclear families (work and home), but exceedingly difficult for my extended activities. I have excelled in male dominated, socially backwater, conventionally conservative places that I am accepted as liberal, but regarded highly accepted for successes. This particular change is going to be particularly awkward for the suspected people that are either unfamiliar or too narrow to understand.

This is a great topic in my discussions with my support professionals. For the most part, change will initially have to be bearded and sloughed off as a change in diet, or worse, perhaps, questioning my health. I will need to be stealth for as long as I feel I can realistically hide the changes from HRT. I don't want to live the life of lies, but we feel it may be necessary for a longer more sensible transition. Little things over time so people do not get shocked. It will be no different than us looking in the mirror and not seeing outward changes, because we look everyday. Those that only see me irregularly, will see the most change.

So, for strength in walking, dressing and talking/living the new exciting life on the streets as a new born woman; I cannot yet attest to this. I have my own demons and expected processes. As for social stigma for most, all I can really recommend search yourself to have a very strong self-esteem, and a slightly thicker skin to those that are so narrow as to treat you with hate. Indifference may be an ally. Walk tall ladies.

I've had social anxiety since puberty first hit me, so I'm dealing with it since a few years now. Only recently I have started seeing a therapist.

For me it mainly manifests when I am in public alone, when I go out with family/friends it's very little and sometimes not there at all. It's the worst in stores (asking where something is etc), in public transportation (the feeling that everyone is staring at me/laughing at me/gossipping about me) or when I have to enter a room where everyone else is already seated. I can not go alone to parties when I know that there will be less than 3 people I know. When meeting with friends I am extremely uncomfortable if I have to wait alone and I also follow up immediately, even when they are only 5 minutes late.

I have however realized that it's gotten waaay better since about 2 months. That's the time that I have started to express my gender again, since most of the time during puberty I had tried to be feminine. It is now easier for me to ignore the feeling of everyone staring at me, and makes a lot of stuff easier, like my trip to school every morning.7

I will however continue therapy because it is something that I can't and don't want to have as my package for my whole life.
Also I can only recommend to everyone who thinks they might have social phobia/anxiety to talk to a therapist, those people know what they do and can really help.