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Post Transitioner

Started by Cindy, November 08, 2014, 04:09:48 AM

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Cindy

Not sure if this is worth a post or not.

How many of you feel that this transitioning thingy is just ... not an issue?

I understand and will always be supportive of people going through the hell of gender dysphoria and appreciate the pain.

I carried so much of it in my journey that I felt I carried a mountain.

But now, so what? That is my main thought about being transgender, I don't care, I don't care what people think, I don't care how I'm perceived.

I'm me. I'll never be an attractive woman, I'm also not ugly, I'm me and I'm happy.

Yes I worry about my relationships, I worry about my diet, I worry about my health, I worry about my finances, or lack of them - I'm looking forward to my surgery with dread and delight.

But I don't worry about being transgender. It doesn't figure in my life.

Is this being post-trans?
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Ms Grace

Very possibly. I'm not quite there yet but maybe soon!
Grace
----------------------------------------------
Transition 1.0 (Julie): HRT 1989-91
Self-denial: 1991-2013
Transition 2.0 (Grace): HRT June 24 2013
Full-time: March 24, 2014 :D
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mrs izzy

For me when I went full time was when I really did not care about all the transition hang ups.

I just lived.

Many can not understand but I settled into my female life and worked things as a female.

At first I think all the transition hype needs to be looked at and explored. But at some point one needs to step out and enjoy.

Yes there is still life moments that needs the trans* attention but only as one processes threw there daily lives.

Just do not live to be trans*, transition to live.

Mrs. Izzy
Trans lifeline US 877-565-8860 CAD 877-330-6366 http://www.translifeline.org/
"Those who matter will never judge, this is my given path to walk in life and you have no right to judge"

I used to be grounded but now I can fly.
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Julia-Madrid

Hi Cindy

I dunno, your day-to-day worries are just those of a woman, and if you're happy, you're happy.

For me, transition isn't an issue, as I went from boy to girl in just 4 months (and I do know how fortunate I am.)  There's just the snipping and tucking left, and, while it's kind of fundamental, I don't really see myself as being in transition.

There's also the philosophical question of "ending up" somewhere.  You never really do in life, except for some events, so you're always in some kind of transition to some next goal or destination.  And it's independent of our trans situation.

Approximately still on-subject, I often wonder whether I will still define myself as transgender once I get SRS done.  Historically, I will have transitioned from male to female, but in all other senses only a woman will remain, so is she transgender now?  I'd be interested to understand your views on this.

Hugs
Julia

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stephaniec

I personally believe we'd all be better off as a community and as individuals if this attitude was the norm rather than the exception
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Missy~rmdlm

My surgery clearly was a dominant factor for a good year in my life. The ramp up to getting it done, then I had moderate healing complications. As mentioned in another thread I just had a court case for my birth certificate change. Unfortunately I'm not post transition yet, a few more ends must be tied up. The next big one is moving to a new region with a new job and marrying my SO. The next little one is electrolysis Tuesday.
In all being TS is a huge annoyance. Post transition is in sight though.
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Erica_Y

Cindy your post resonated with me as I basically feel the same way about it being a mindset more than anything. Like some others I have had a great transition so far and really do not approach life from a trans perspective and share your thoughts.  It is probably a very delicate subject overall however we all have different expectations and experiences. There is the personal growth and physical interventions that need to be completed along the way and these are just steps in a journey to completeness. 

My main concerns are similar to yourself in that my life tasks , success and challenges are the focus and not my trans ones.

Thanks for posting!
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suzifrommd

I'm "post-transition" a lot of the time. I just go about my life being me. But occasionally my transness slaps me in the face, where I realize that it colors some reaction that someone has to me.

I'm also still learning the ways of middle-aged womanhood. I'm like a foreigner who knows the language well enough to get by 95% of the time, but every once in a while I come across something that I realize I don't yet get.
Have you read my short story The Eve of Triumph?
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Susan522

Quote from: Julia-Madrid on November 08, 2014, 05:18:08 AM
"I often wonder whether I will still define myself as transgender once I get SRS done.  Historically, I will have transitioned from male to female, but in all other senses only a woman will remain, so is she transgender now?  I'd be interested to understand your views on this."

While I can appreciate those views of those who have found happiness irrespective of how they are viewed by others or the world at large, I would like to address myself directly to Juiia's  question, "....so is she transgender now?"

First of all I need to state the obvious which is that because I went through this process of transforming my physical body so very long ago, (before many of you had even been born and long before the Internet), things were very, very different then.

In my case there was not a lot of 'navel gazing' or "gender therapy".  There was just a fundamental need, to first understand just what the "problem" was that I was suffering from, admitting and accepting that I had this problem, and then going about the rather involved and painful process of fixing that problem.

In my case, and I strongly suspect in Julia's case, my physical body simply did not "fit" or match up with who I actually was.  Once my body was "fixed", I was essentially whole and healthy and able to go about my life without any further turmoil or emotional torment about not being able to simply be, who I simply was...just a simple woman with some rather unique physical limitations due to a rather unique medical history.

Other than the inability to actually conceive a life and carry a child within them to term, I see no reason that given the state of modern medicine today, anyone born with a genetic anomaly similar to mine, should not be able to realize their dreams and be anyone they aspire to be, given that they are willing to make the effort and take responsibility for their own happiness.

To answer Julia's question directly, my feeling is that she should allow those memories of her conflicted past, to fade into oblivion just as quickly and naturally as possible.  I never knew much of a "community" when I suffered through the pains of transition, and frankly, I still do not.  I honestly see little benefit in the constant online regurgitation of the rather hackneyed old memes constructed to "support" the personal proclivities of so many at the expense of so few.
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big kim

I was in the shopping centre and saw this woman,she was tall and had a  bit of a food baby belly,looked to be mid 40s,long ash blonde hair in a pony tail wearing jeans and a black hoody like all the other 40 somethings.Not a beauty but neither ugly,I realised it was my reflection,I'm 57 and look OK for my age.I'm post transition,I don't pass I'm over 6' tall,big built and have a voice like Lemmy from Motorhead but I'm accepted by most people
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AnonyMs

I always though post-transition was the point at which so many people drop out of the online communities. I've seen it happen so often on YouTube, where its particularly obvious. People actively post for a few years, complete transition, then disappear. I assume it happens here also. I don't mean dropping out as post-transition, but that point in life where so many people do.

I'm very far from post-transition, but I understand why its no longer a consuming part of people's lives.

So Cindy, are you going to stick around? I'm guessing so, as you've integrated so much of this into your off-line life.

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Jill F

I don't think there is a goal line that one crosses.  Life itself is transition.  It was just a matter of cranking down the dysphoria so I could enjoy it.
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Alexmakenoise

I'm sure it's different for everyone, but I have to say this is a really encouraging thread! 
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Hex

As for my own perception and other's opinions about me? I stopped caring months ago lol
As far as transition and being trans? I've actually been more driven to try and take some part of the acceptance chain in the US. Pushing for laws to make it easier, spreading correct information as much as I can when needed ect.
Transition will just be one part of my self I suppose, part of my life line but transgender has become something more for me over all. I want to help others to the best I can now, even if later on they don't want to identify with the label and so on. It's much more to me wanting to just help somehow.
I run a FtM blog where I pour my experiences out for others to read. Check it out!
My journey to becoming a transman





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