Just make sure she knows you love her  for the person she is and that no matter what you'll always be there for her. Let her know that it's ok to be happy and denying oneself a chance at that for whatever reason is more selfish than seeking it.

I really hope she finds herself and recovers from this
Love you both
(you're fantastic by the way)

Quote from: Consending on October 07, 2014, 11:50:47 AM
Thanks everybody. He is in the hospital now and he is very angry with me. So much so that his eyes are always bloodshot red when I tried visiting him. He wouldn't speak with me when I tried talking with him. He hasn't acted out or anything though. Atleast that is what the officials told me at the hospital.

She isn't angry with you, she is angry and ashamed about herself, you are simply her only real outlet right now.  Try to remember over the next few days/weeks that anything hurtful she says she probably doesn't mean.

Your earlier comments about what she has said make it sound as though she is fighting against her own social conditioning about transgender people. She thinks it's not normal, and for a teen anything that makes them stick out is bad.

Self hate and self harm are old acquaintances of mine, all that bottled up rage and frustration has to go somewhere

A gender therapist is an important step here, sadly by the sound of it your daughter might be unwilling to go anywhere near one due to her feelings about being Trans.

Good luck hun, I wish you both well and am thinking of you.

Alice
xx

Unfortunately, if my parents had handled it the way you say you did, I would be extremely hurt and angry, too. I wonder if their reasoning is the same as mine.

Alright, so I am the only one really disagreeing with the way this went? Reading someones diary is a really wrong thing to do. And this is only one side of the story. One day you read his dairy and write it down here, the next day you confronted him with it. You asked for advice saying you want him to be happy but rather him not to transition. You cannot make me believe that with a few hours it sinks in enough to properly confront him about it. You didn't even have the time to read the responses in this thread.

Now he is in a psych and with that you basically outted him, or at least put him in a very uneasy situation. If he has such a strong responsibility feeling to give up his own desires and wishes to take care of others, then I doubt he would suddenly do suicide and end it right there. So from my opinion no matter how positive and supportive all the other messages are, I can fully understand why your son spits venom when he sees you now.

You cannot and shouldn't help someone who doesn't want help.

I was VERY closeted as a young child. Hints that I was not of the hetero norm but was neglected for that. Your child can suffer a blow from what may seem to you as a mere split of a moment of life, but referring (sp) to her as him, hurts.. Forgot if you stated that you told your child you know, but support.. Support the masculine and feminine... Your child has some growth to experience, just as yourself, others and I.. Not perfect.. I suggest you should examine the gender spectrum, know that being transgender does have an umbrella.. Nothing to "qualify" Even myself, I have been on and off.. Detransitioning through the intent to understand my life.. Not that I planned.. but God/Life/Source/Universe.. what ever label we give or do not.. I faced a situation trying in many ways.. but led to my detransitioning.. Which signified that I am transgender.. from to my neurons up to my spirit.. I am female.. No matter how much I can fit a gentlemen role, come off as a flamboyant boy.. etc.. I have always related chains to having testostrone in my system.. I recently put a post about how content I am with me, and that is simply because I am transitioning again.. Almost a month in and my internal world has outstandingly changed.. We are us.. I am not so pushy towards a young transition, and with knowledge that your child identifies as transgender, transition her (suggestion) by going audrogynous.. A mix of fem and masc clothing... Or gender neutral (sp)... let her get a feel, not a rush.. She could be overwhelmed dwele in her insecurties and reject herself.. and battling depression and more than societal issues.. Please understand as a parent in this current era.. TV Shows, News, Schools, just about a majority of this planet is against your daughter.. To take her gender as a mere confusion, a cross between nurture and nature.. a disease.. etc.. People consitently make comments about our community, also yours, just to let you know.. Be proud and expand your knowledge.. Also take in your child may be the first transgender to be in her own category.. Not new but we are all different.. If you have any questions, as I hope you do. Feel free to ask me.. I am a biological male spirited female, and I am going through a boyish girl phase, and that is natural.. I am transtioning medically through a physician, which I did blood work for today.. (tmi) aha! ^.^... Do not tell anyone, I am an empathic and "out of this world" individual and if you spread her business.. She may pick up, feel betrayed, hide, closet.. and if you are not around, or your child is talented in "out of this world senses" encountering someone who knows of her gender identity but does NOT support or choose to grow to understand can hurt your child.. again feelings of betrayel etc..
Hope that this directed you to the high...

Much Love

- Fenix

All will be well.Time will ease your trohbles as your son will find true happiness

How do you handle it? Well, that is easy...love, understanding, tolerance, compassion, and acceptance. Everything else will fall into place where it needs to.

As I lie awake this morning in bed, this young person's story is burning in my heart. Its been a couple weeks since we have heard anything. Any status updates? 

Hi,have you made any progress

Hey everybody! I have decided I will support his decision to not transition as he really feels strongly about his decision.  I told him that he should transition and I would be more than happy to pay for his expenses but he deadset on taking care of this family and he really doesn't want to be an "ugly girl". I think he would transition nicely but if that's how he feels I won't push him anymore. He pretty much hates me now and has no trust for me anymore. I think I botched things up for us, but I hope this experience gives him some self growth.

Hi Consending

Let time heal things.  If your son is not ready for this step, well, you can't push it.  If he has had some self-growth this is a good, and with some perspective maybe he will see things differently.  He know that you will support him, and I think you are absolutely awesome for being so willing to help your child along a complex path.

Just a thought for some future point.  Many of us are not sure whether we will be ugly women or not.  There is a website called VirtualFFS run by a transwoman called Alexandra Hamer.  She is a specialist in facial image manipulation, and works with an excellent facial surgery outfit in Spain as a consultant.  She can provide simulations of how a face will look after hormonal feminisation, and also after facial surgery.  She's not expensive, and it really did give me a small boost of confidence to go forward.

Good luck
Julia

There are also a lot of before and after pictures here on Susan's and other sites as well as transition videos on Youtube, I know the Youtube videos inspired me and gave me a lot of confidence.

Quote from: antonia on October 26, 2014, 11:26:15 AM
There are also a lot of before and after pictures here on Susan's and other sites as well as transition videos on Youtube, I know the Youtube videos inspired me and gave me a lot of confidence.

I found a few of those very inspirational after my meltdown.  One of the things that kept me closeted for so long was that I thought I would just look like a shaven ape in a dress.  I think I came out OK.  Hormones are quite powerful.

Ehmm, you should have seen some pictures of the 250lb me with a beard wielding a sledge hammer, welder and heavy machinery, a girl's go to do what a girl's got to do

Quote from: Jill F on October 26, 2014, 01:37:57 PM
I found a few of those very inspirational after my meltdown.  One of the things that kept me closeted for so long was that I thought I would just look like a shaven ape in a dress.  I think I came out OK.  Hormones are quite powerful.

....

LilDevilOfPrada, with respect, your comments are out of line. 

If you go back and read a little more carefully you will see that the child was/is already strongly disfunctional, and moreover the mother was absolutely supportive of the idea of the child changing gender.   The mother does not explain the chain of events that lead to the child being hospitalised, so let us please not jump to any conclusions or such blunt criticisms.

Julia