Hi, guys.  I have been taking T for 10 weeks.  I have titrated up from what I call 1/4 dose to now a 1/2 dose (think ALionsFears T- shirt company to know what I am defining as a "full dose").

I continue to have some mood shifts where I can have irritability off and on throughout the week.  Twice I have had these mini emotional breakdowns (crying for no big reason).  I don't know if it is because I am titrating up, or if this is an ongoing life long issue for some people.

I know guys talk about irritability before their shots, but mine seems to float in and out throughout the 7 days between shots, which is a different issue.

So, please tell me your process of mood shifts that are NOT the common side effect of irritability right before your shot.  Did it happen in the early months and then go away?  Are you still having it (however much time later)?

I have been adjusting my shot day in order to ensure that any "break down", I may have is not during the work week.  I moved my shot day from Tuesday to Sunday and now I just moved it to Saturday mornings (the two times the "mini break down" happened was the day after my shot.

Maybe the shifting of days is causing the problem, along with the titration up.  I didn't have those two "melt downs" until I titrated up to 1/2 dose.  I think I should stay on the 1/2 dose for awhile like I did the 1/4 dose.  There is A LOT of planning and things that need to be attended to at work before I can start being known as male/Brett (or another name, I am rethinking Brett for a couple of reasons), and I need to be careful with my voice dropping any lower.  I plan to come OUT to my supervisor early next week. 

I guess I could just use a little reassurance that my life isn't going to always be like this on T.  I am honestly getting a little worried and the irritability is impacting my girlfriend/relationship a bit, even when I do the best I can to control it.

Any knowledge based on your own experience or what you have heard from others would be welcomed.  I am also older, 44 years old, and although I have not heard any information about age impacting emotional response to T, I think I should throw it into the list of variables that could be impacting things.  That is a lot of years with only estrogen floating in my body.

Thanks so much for your help.

I'm also older (older even than you ), and I've been on T for around 8 months. I haven't noticed cycles of irritability, or crying jags, but I have found that when I get angry, it's pretty much zero to sixty in a few seconds. It does seem to have leveled off -- overall, I think I'm quite a bit calmer and generally more tolerant than pre-T. I was warned about this stuff by my doc, who did mention mood swings as a possibility; she said that the thing to keep in mind is that we're basically going through a second puberty, and we're likely to get some of the emotional lability that goes along with adolescence.

It's pretty weird when you're middle-aged, isn't it?

Quote from: Tysilio on November 15, 2014, 11:42:06 AM
I was warned about this stuff by my doc, who did mention mood swings as a possibility; she said that the thing to keep in mind is that we're basically going through a second puberty, and we're likely to get some of the emotional lability that goes along with adolescence.

This. Also, it may not be a good idea to keep changing the day you take your shot.

honestly, i just think it is your body adjusting to your new dose. when you start low and continue to increase your dose, your body is gonna start noticing those changes. the only time i had mood swings was when my shot day got changed and i had to wait a few more days for me to get it or it was early on (like 2 months in) and i would get moody near when i should have had my period but didn't because of T.

if you're concerned, you should talk to your doctor. if it becomes a problem you might need to find ways to manage how you deal with your mood swings. just think of how moody teenage boys are and that's how you are basically right now. eventually it should get better and you should feel calmer (hopefully) but i think because it is a new dose and something you aren't use to, your body is reacting that way and i think that's normal.

10 weeks is a drop in a bucket compared to multiple years.  Your body can take more than a year to fully adjust - mentally and physically - the changes.

I would say that you may need to consider speaking to your doctor about it if it persists beyond 12 months or gets noticeably worse. 

I found that I have phases like this, but certainly nothing that lasts 24-7.

Thanks everyone for your thoughts and advice.  I changed my shot day twice (once from Tuesday to Sunday, and then from Sunday to Saturday), due to the crying jags at work.  I work Monday-Friday and thought that moving it to Sunday would be good enough.  But, since I had a crying jag that Monday, I decided that moving it today to Saturday would give me two non work days after my shot to move through any funky emotions.

I did expect some irritability with starting T, but I didn't expect the crying jags and how intense the irritability is.  I actually expected with being on low dose and taking things slow that I would have less mood effects.  It is true though that it started when I increased from 1/4 dose to 1/2 dose.

What you all said I pretty much knew (that it will get better), but it was good to hear it.  I will ride the wave as best I can.  Thanks for the support.

Late to the party, but one more thing: I personally found that after I started T I was unable to get rid of bad feelings like I could before (by crying, talking, etc.) and that exercise did A LOT to make me feel better. It's much more necessary to my life now than before; I do get irritable and unhappy when I'm not getting significant exercise at least three days a week.

Maybe the dose is too strong? Or too often? Personally I experienced something similar but only with anger....rage like anger for no reason other than a car cutting me off in traffic. I told my doctor at my next month appointment and we determined that my dose was too strong. I'm still on "half" dose and I've been on T 3 years now. Half dose is full dose for me, even post hysterectomy and oophorectomy. Weekly shots are a butt to do but I would have crying jags and feel horrible on the biweekly and 10 day intervals so my formula was less more often because of how I absorb the T.

I'd consult with your doctor if it worries you Brett. It's what you pay for after all.

Quote from: Sebryn on November 20, 2014, 10:20:16 PM
Maybe the dose is too strong? Or too often? Personally I experienced something similar but only with anger....rage like anger for no reason other than a car cutting me off in traffic. I told my doctor at my next month appointment and we determined that my dose was too strong. I'm still on "half" dose and I've been on T 3 years now. Half dose is full dose for me, even post hysterectomy and oophorectomy. Weekly shots are a butt to do but I would have crying jags and feel horrible on the biweekly and 10 day intervals so my formula was less more often because of how I absorb the T.

I'd consult with your doctor if it worries you Brett. It's what you pay for after all.

Sebryn, I appreciate the information.  Luckily, over this last dose cycle things were smooth as silk.  No irritability, very emotionally balanced.  I will be getting my blood work done this week, so I will see where my T levels are.  This will be my first blood test since I started, so it will be interesting to see.  I don't know how long it takes to build up in one's blood, but it is now 4 weeks that I am on the "half dose".  I wonder what percentage of FTMs are all actually on what we call the "full dose"?  Wish we could do a poll here.  Maybe what we call "full dose" isn't as common as we assume?  Anyone have any data/research to share on this?

When we were getting my dosage settled I was going to my endo every month for blood draws and then seeing him the week after for the results. He'd always ask how I was doing on the hormones before letting me know my levels. A pop quiz if you will to see if the levels were causing any mood swings or the like. I do know that injected the half life of T Cyp. is 8 days.

All the guys local to me are on the "full" dose. Maybe ask locally? I'm also the only guy locally to have a total hysterectomy and oophorectomy so that might be a factor. I had PCOS and endotresimosis so that may have had some effect on how I absorbed T, hence the half dose and not having to change dosage post hysterectomy.

Quote from: Sebryn on November 23, 2014, 06:16:59 PM
When we were getting my dosage settled I was going to my endo every month for blood draws and then seeing him the week after for the results. He'd always ask how I was doing on the hormones before letting me know my levels. A pop quiz if you will to see if the levels were causing any mood swings or the like. I do know that injected the half life of T Cyp. is 8 days.

All the guys local to me are on the "full" dose. Maybe ask locally? I'm also the only guy locally to have a total hysterectomy and oophorectomy so that might be a factor. I had PCOS and endotresimosis so that may have had some effect on how I absorbed T, hence the half dose and not having to change dosage post hysterectomy.

Thanks, Sebryn.  Unfortunately, the only FTMs I know are online (only this site, actually).    Thanks for telling me about your area and for telling me about your dosing experience. 

Quote from: Brett on November 23, 2014, 08:00:20 AM
Sebryn, I appreciate the information.  Luckily, over this last dose cycle things were smooth as silk.  No irritability, very emotionally balanced.  I will be getting my blood work done this week, so I will see where my T levels are.  This will be my first blood test since I started, so it will be interesting to see.  I don't know how long it takes to build up in one's blood, but it is now 4 weeks that I am on the "half dose".  I wonder what percentage of FTMs are all actually on what we call the "full dose"?  Wish we could do a poll here.  Maybe what we call "full dose" isn't as common as we assume?  Anyone have any data/research to share on this?

I've often wondered this as well. I'm two years and a few months on T and I've never taken a dose even remotely close to the "full" or "standard" dose (I've been on a "half" dose just about this whole time). I was a little self-conscious about it at first, but for me, this is the dose that achieves the desired levels and without any negative side effects. I also didn't experience a lot of what some guys talk about in the early stages of taking T (out of control appetite, lethargy, those kinds of things). Maybe I was just lucky, but I sometimes wonder if some guys are on a dose that's too high for them just because it's the "standard." There aren't a lot of true experts out there when it comes to administering hormone therapy to trans individuals, unfortunately.

Personally I had opted to start taking T using a gradually increasing dosage method which worked very well for me, very little side effects and so on...until we got it too high. It's very interesting how the standards of treatment are mostly a one size fits all for us. Fortunately the endo I see has a lot of experience treating trans patients and was very open to trying something new since I had done some research on T and a singer's vocals and shared it with him. I wanted to try and simulate a more natural puberty with the gradual increase....but of course over a shorter amount of time....instead of the usual BAM Heeeellllooooo testostrone method which seems the usual procedure.

Quote from: Sebryn on November 24, 2014, 09:01:48 PM
Personally I had opted to start taking T using a gradually increasing dosage method which worked very well for me, very little side effects and so on...until we got it too high. It's very interesting how the standards of treatment are mostly a one size fits all for us. Fortunately the endo I see has a lot of experience treating trans patients and was very open to trying something new since I had done some research on T and a singer's vocals and shared it with him. I wanted to try and simulate a more natural puberty with the gradual increase....but of course over a shorter amount of time....instead of the usual BAM Heeeellllooooo testostrone method which seems the usual procedure.

My endo used the gradually increasing dosage method, too. I knew I wanted and needed T beyond a shadow of a doubt, but I also wanted to ease into it and thankfully my doctor viewed it the same way. I definitely attribute the "ramping up" philosophy as a big part of why I didn't struggle much in the early stages.

I definitely had some mood swings especially within my first couple of months on T. It got a little better after that, but it was still happening and it lasted up until a year. I changed my dosage frequency once I hit 1 year on T and since then (it's now 7 months later) the mood swings have stopped. I still have my bad days here and there but they're not T related. 

Definitely give yourself more time, maybe 6 months to a year, and if the irritability is still a problem then talk to your endo. 

Quote from: Sebryn on November 24, 2014, 09:01:48 PM
Personally I had opted to start taking T using a gradually increasing dosage method which worked very well for me, very little side effects and so on...until we got it too high. It's very interesting how the standards of treatment are mostly a one size fits all for us. Fortunately the endo I see has a lot of experience treating trans patients and was very open to trying something new since I had done some research on T and a singer's vocals and shared it with him. I wanted to try and simulate a more natural puberty with the gradual increase....but of course over a shorter amount of time....instead of the usual BAM Heeeellllooooo testostrone method which seems the usual procedure.

Yes, the vocal issue is one of the reasons why I chose to titrate up slowly as well.  Most likely you and I read the same article!

Tomorrow I get my levels done for the first time, so it will be interesting to see where they are.