cindy-
hi, i can really relate to your story, when you talk about the getting used to being a woman, the initial difficulties, and the distance with which men treat you initially. Once you have a big wardrobe full of clothes that reflect your mood that day, things get easier dont they!

i don't think anyone has ever stared at me like i was from alpha centaurai, but maybe from planet neptune haha.. i have certainly felt uncomfortable at times,
i felt like being a social worker for along time too like you, i think that i come across as being a hard bitch on internet forums, but i think really im quite a caring person. I think alot of transwoman are like you, and me in that way. We feel, were others, might act.
that said, I decided i was ultimately too pig headed and up my own bum to be a social worker and so i became a teacher instead!
with teaching, once people realise you are a capable teacher, they dont even notice what clothes you wear, nor do they care. They are their to learn spanish, and im there to teach them. My gender, is not relevant to them.
sometimes other transpeople don't like what i say and sometimes they get offended, but i am talking from my experience. I always say what i think, with me you get no bull->-bleeped-<-. Thats something i always admire about my friend berleigh too - theres no bull->-bleeped-<- from her either. We don't always agree but its so important for us all to understand the situation we find ourselves in.
what i said before, is also aimed to be help to any other transwoman who is a bit down in confidence, or feels sometimes like they just can't compete, or that other people's opinion of them is more important than their own opionion of themselves.. Thats how i have felt alot in my life..
always remember, if they call you a man, or he, or whatever... always remember.. THEY ARE WRONG. There's no need to be nasty to them, or fight against them.. they are just wrong. Its them who are mistaken, not you. Its so easy to let other people decide for you who you are, but the trick, is not to let them?
The ones who treat you as a woman, are right. They are the ones who understand gender properly, which is why i think melissa90 totally and utterly misunderstands what i am saying..
women treat me as a woman, so, ultimately they are the ones who understand gender better. Mellissa thinks thats an insult to women? Strange idea you got there mellisa

Men think they see a man, so i call them observant.. perhaps i used the wrong word. Maybe,
mistakenly observant would better describe them..
anyway, Thats the mentality i have at the moment, and its helped me alot, and given me alot of confidence in myself and my own identity.