So I have a 17-year-old little sister who knows how to push my buttons. She knows how to make me mad in the worst ways.

Lately, she's been making fun of me for wearing male clothes. I don't really care; she can say whatever she wants. But I didn't realize it affected my dysphoria...sometimes I cry at night when I'm alone cuz I replay her words in my head and what she says isn't really harsh but I tend to take it personally.

Also, I hate it when she talks about her boobs *shudder*. I can't stand the word. She is like a barbie, big DD cup boobs, 00 waist. So she talks about her chest a lot. I would laugh along at what she said at first but it's starting to get old and I find it gross. She talks about how her b**bs itch and that they must be growing more cuz that's what one of her friends said once. It's a joke, but I can't stand it.

Like, it affects my dysphoria because I think of mine. Yes, I have b**bs and it sucks! I don't want them and with my sister talking about hers every day, I feel depressed cuz it reminds me of mine. Sometimes, when I walk past the full length mirror on my bathroom door, I have to cover myself from the shoulders down so that I don't get upset.

My siser is obsessed with her chest so she talks about them all the time and it's irritating. It feels like she's rubbing my dysphoria in my face (even though I know she isn't).

And yesterday, I went to a gender therapist for the first time. I had scheduled my appointment to 2pm cuz I figured it would last about an hour. I have to pick my sister up from school every day at 3:30pm. Well, the therapy session ended up being about an hour and a half long so by the time I got to my car, it was 3:32pm. I ended up picking up my sister around 3:50pm because it was so far away.

Well, my sister didn't like that. She was rude to me on the way home.

She was like, "Why are you scheduling an appointment so close to my pickup time?"

I said, "I didn't, I actually got there at 1:30 because I had to fill out paperwork."

She said (very rudely I might add), "So you were there for 2 hours?" (She had this tone in her voice that set me off.)

I said yes and she said, "Why did it take that long?"

I finally snappped and said, "Because it was my first session and it's none of your business anyway!"

She was silent the rest of the way home 

It's funny how teens can act sometimes. they can be so self-centered but curious. My sister had a fit two weeks ago because I was asking about her plans for the day. She said it was none of my business and that I didn't need to know what she did every day. I won't lie. It hurt a lot. I was just trying to be interested in her life like she wanted me to. But I got her back yesterday so it's all good.

But yeah, my sister is annoying and hard to get along with...

Any thoughts? (sorry it's so long lol)

Well first congrats on getting to a therapist! Well done.

Second, your're a guy she is a girl, guess what, it's pretty normal for brothers and sisters at this age to act this way.

So, instead of getting triggered by it, think of it in another way. You are her big brother and yes, 17 yr old sisters are a pain. Don't get triggered look at it as acceptance.

Quote from: BlaineGame on November 21, 2014, 08:20:05 AM
Any thoughts? (sorry it's so long lol)

Words hurt, even when you're trying hard to ignore someone elses'.

Would be worth having a serious talk with your sister about how her words are causing you pain. She might be too young to take you seriously, but people can surprise you so I'd suggest giving her a chance.

Are there activities that help you feel true to yourself? For me, they would be reading, walking, listening to music, and talking to my friends. What recharges your batteries, helps you get out of yourself, helps you feel centered? Once you figure out what those things are, do them as often as you can manage.

Journaling can help too. It keeps me from going over the same words in my head forever. Once they're written down, makes it easier to let them go.

Finally, it helps me to pray for peace. I'm not so sure about god, so I pray to my inner strength. Works just as well.

Hugs Blaine. It will get better.

Quote from: Cindy on November 21, 2014, 08:38:37 AM
Well first congrats on getting to a therapist! Well done.

Second, your're a guy she is a girl, guess what, it's pretty normal for brothers and sisters at this age to act this way.

So, instead of getting triggered by it, think of it in another way. You are her big brother and yes, 17 yr old sisters are a pain. Don't get triggered look at it as acceptance.

You're right Cindy! I actually never thought of it that way before...and she doesn't know I'm trans so it's a bit complicated...

Quote from: suzifrommd on November 21, 2014, 08:41:36 AM
Words hurt, even when you're trying hard to ignore someone elses'.

Would be worth having a serious talk with your sister about how her words are causing you pain. She might be too young to take you seriously, but people can surprise you so I'd suggest giving her a chance.

Are there activities that help you feel true to yourself? For me, they would be reading, walking, listening to music, and talking to my friends. What recharges your batteries, helps you get out of yourself, helps you feel centered? Once you figure out what those things are, do them as often as you can manage.

Journaling can help too. It keeps me from going over the same words in my head forever. Once they're written down, makes it easier to let them go.

Finally, it helps me to pray for peace. I'm not so sure about god, so I pray to my inner strength. Works just as well.

Hugs Blaine. It will get better.

Yes, I enjoy writing and talking to you all on Susan's. I actually feel most at home on this site than anywhere else. It's nice to have people on this site who are wise and understand what I'm going through.

And, my sister doesn't know I'm trans yet...she's gonna be one of the last people I tell because I know she won't take it well. Most likely, she'll call me disgusting because she's a strict Christian....but I'll talk to her about it eventually. Now isn't the right time though.