I feel like I start a new thread here every other day.. Anyways,

I've been thinking recently. I suppose a large part of my motivation to figure things out and hopefully do something about it is that I've never felt like I fit in everywhere. Not with straight girls, where I just felt like I was invading their privacy in some way. Not with gay girls either, where they just didn't think I was really gay (I'm probs asexual). I haven't really had much of a chance to spend that much time around straight guys though, so I really have no idea whether I'd fit in there, when I try to think of that all that comes up through my mind is that I have no idea "how to be a guy," so my mind won't help there either.

Just wondering what your experiences are, outside the trans community, where do you fit in? Do things change post-transition? For me it feels like the risk of not being accepted anywhere even if I transition is worth it, because it's not like I'll magically begin to fit in as female anytime soon. I'm just so tired of being subconsciously guarded all the time that I don't know what it's like to relax or be myself around anyone. It seems like people around me are so carefree, and I'm just automatically tensed up.

The only place I fit in is within the expectations I set for myself. I don't fit in anywhere and I've learnt to accept that. Yeah I'm trans, pansexual and whatever else, but everyone else that is usually doesn't get along with me, or vice versa. And so be it, I don't really care. Helps for me that I'm a massive introvert and generally don't have any interest in hanging around people. Fitting in with myself is way more important to me than fitting into groups etc, but that's just my personal preference and how I live my life....

I don't worry about fitting in, so to speak. I work, pay my taxes and have friends (mostly coworkers). Outside of school settings (high school and Uni) I haven't seen many cliques. When I was still at Uni I fit in with people in my major, on high school I got along with pretty much everyone. I haven't personally seen cliques in the working world outside of the "if you pull your weight, you're cool".

I tend to fit in with everyone just because I am in outgoing type of guy most people just wanna be my friend, mostly everyone respcts me and my descisions I hang with my boys and females.

I never really fit in anywhere, and definitely not as a female. I played basketball my whole life so I was always part of some sort of team. So I didn't need much socializing outside of that I guess. Always been a bit of a loner. It's definitely easy and natural to socialize now as a guy, but I still don't necessarily fit into any kind of niche group yet. Maybe someday I'll find a place where I really fit, but for now I'm just enjoying the fact that im transitioning and I've always been open to whatever comes next in life.

i tend to fit in with everyone because i'm really laid-back and out going. i do prefer to hang out with girls though but that's just because there isn't all this misogyny around like there is when there's a group of guys.

I don't feel like I fit in anywhere, but it has little to do with me being trans, and more to do with the fact I'm not very good at this social interactions thing yet, I didn't have any friends growing up until I was like 18 lol. But I've found in the past while that I've forced myself to communicate I can talk to anyone the same. I'm viewed as a pretty "alpha-male" type of person in the few groups of people I talk to (on MMOs, Skype groups, Work) so I guess I'd say I fit in best with the whole strong quiet guy who people come to for assistance... yea that's not really fitting in is it? Idk. I'm a metalhead. I belong in a mosh pit that's about all I know.

I feel the same way darkblade...I feel like I don't really fit in anywhere except when I'm texting my best guy friend... I guess I'd probably fit in more with guys than girls cuz I like to joke about farts and other weird bodily functions. Some girls (and a few guys) find it gross but I find it hilarious....especially when the girls look horrified that I'm discussing farts to them 

But before I had a good guy friend, I felt like I didn't fit in anywhere...I was shy, an outcast ever since I started middle school. I'm still guarded due to the bullying I went through in middle school, but I'm beginning to open up thanks to my guy friend. And I've only known him for 9 months. I've opened up so much thanks to him

Maybe you need to find a best friend? One you can say anything to and know he/she won't judge you...it's nice to have friends like that. It helped me out of my shell.

If I hadn't met him, I probably wouldn't be on this site now because I was so shy before I met him. And look at me now, sharing my life with you all almost daily...aren't y'all lucky 

Right now, outside of trans groups, I fit in best with queer girls or non binary people. I think it's because straight men and gay men both intimidate me, partly because I'm small and young looking and don't always pass (so im either an outsider or the butt of all their jokes), and partly because 99% of the bad reactions I've received have been from men. I'm sure once I pass better and get more comfortable in male spaces, I'll fit in better, but for the most part right now I fit in best with transguys and mixed gender or female queer groups.
I should also add that part of the reason I fit better there is that queer people respect my identity better if I'm not passing than most straight people- granted I've met exceptions. I've recently come to realize that at my university, everyone is accepting, so I fit in better in general, but outside of school that's not the case at all.

It's weird, socially I'm a bit of a chameleon. I can easily and contentedly fit in with whoever is around. I've never had any issues making friends or feeling like I didn't fit in.

But I actually don't prefer being around people at all. I'm a big time introvert and my preference is usually not to be around anyone. I play MMOs and tool around on XBox Live, but don't ask me to hang out in person unless you're cool with driving the conversation because I'm 100% happy to sit and stare at you.

This is a hard question actually. My first thought was nowhere, and the second : a lot of places. I guess I can sort of find my place in a lot of different groups, because I can relate to a lot of different people. But I don't have this one group where I feel I really 'fit' in.
I'm more introverted and while I do enjoy the company of people it's best enjoyed in small doses at a time :p The closest to really 'fitting' in I get at the gendersupportgroup I frequent, but that's mainly because of the huge diversity of people there. I like diversity, it helps me fit in better I also don't worry too much about fitting in, I seem to have a tendency to stand out no matter how hard I try to fit in. So it's easier to just not try too much, since it gives me about the same results.

I don't even have a trans group to fit in IRL, only forums like this (and I sometimes feel like an outsider even in them) so I don't really have much choice but trying to fit in every possible group? I dunno, I know I'm socially awkward and obnoxious even at best so I suppose it's just a matter of people tolerating me. A majority of my close friends are (cis)females but what the heck, we share common interests, humor and all the important jazz so why not.
All in all, I've never really tried to fit into any groups, to be honest. I've just always been myself - which automatically means I end up being an outsider - and waiting to find someone who doesn't mind my weirdness. It's worked pretty well so far.

I was kind of hoping you guys would say the fitting in gets easier  but I suppose things are different for each of us.

Quote from: Tossu-sama on November 30, 2014, 05:27:31 PM
I don't even have a trans group to fit in IRL, only forums like this (and I sometimes feel like an outsider even in them) so I don't really have much choice but trying to fit in every possible group? I dunno, I know I'm socially awkward and obnoxious even at best so I suppose it's just a matter of people tolerating me. A majority of my close friends are (cis)females but what the heck, we share common interests, humor and all the important jazz so why not.
All in all, I've never really tried to fit into any groups, to be honest. I've just always been myself - which automatically means I end up being an outsider - and waiting to find someone who doesn't mind my weirdness. It's worked pretty well so far.

Pretty much me. It's fine, and it's not like I have no friends, but sometimes I wish I had a group of friends I could hang out with and not feel like I'm the odd one out all the time. I sometimes feel like I would've never made any friends in school if I weren't always the smartest kid in class, gotta say it sometimes felt good to have people call you or text you because it was like I could at least be part of something. But I've always wanted to break free from that, to have friends that didn't seem like they were only there for the sole reason of getting homework answers from me. Giving up on fitting in made me completely shut off from everyone and completely isolated myself for two years, I'm not doing that anymore. Most of my friends (read:classmates) from high school (we still get together from time to time) are straight (cis)females and maybe I'm making this up right now but it seems like they've always treated me like a guy.. Other than not talking to me about fashion/make up/hot guys, whenever one of them talked to me about things that bothered them or things like that, well it either seems like they treated me like a guy or I felt like a guy.. which is cool by me either way anyways..

Quote from: BlaineGame on November 30, 2014, 08:01:10 AM
But before I had a good guy friend, I felt like I didn't fit in anywhere...I was shy, an outcast ever since I started middle school. I'm still guarded due to the bullying I went through in middle school, but I'm beginning to open up thanks to my guy friend. And I've only known him for 9 months. I've opened up so much thanks to him

Maybe you need to find a best friend? One you can say anything to and know he/she won't judge you...it's nice to have friends like that. It helped me out of my shell.

At each point of my life I think there was always a person I confided in, although I can't say I've ever been completely comfortable around anyone, so I'm sure I never really talked about everything I wanted to talk about. Talking really helps me when I'm feeling down, I've definitely had days throughout middle school/high school/maybe even my freshman year of college where I'd ignore everything and spend the whole day on the phone, ending one call and starting another. That said, I'm also a huge introvert.

For the last 3 years I've had a close friend who I feel is the closest I've ever been to anyone. She's great and all, but since I've been isolating myself lately she's kind of made other close friends and it just seems like I'm not much of a priority anymore. Especially that when I call I usually wanna talk about whatever is bothering me and I hate that, because I don't want to be the person that only talks to you when they're depressed, and I'm pretty sure people aren't too fond of people who do that anyways. I've got my roommate though, she's super supportive and we have lots of things in common but I don't really want to burden her. Besides, she's going to be studying abroad next semester, so finding someone new to vent to is going to be fun.. She promises me she'll "train" someone to stand my weirdness and annoy me the same way she does when she's gone

Quote from: BlaineGame on November 30, 2014, 08:01:10 AM
I feel the same way darkblade...I feel like I don't really fit in anywhere except when I'm texting my best guy friend... I guess I'd probably fit in more with guys than girls cuz I like to joke about farts and other weird bodily functions. Some girls (and a few guys) find it gross but I find it hilarious....especially when the girls look horrified that I'm discussing farts to them 

same here *cries laughing* 

The first thing that came to mind was nowhere because I'm extremely introverted and shy, but, when I can just talk to someone who's as passionate as me about the same things, I just open up..

Sorry, can't edit with tapatalk, but I'm MTF, so yeah.. I didn't see the FTM talk thing