I mean, I'm looking at photos and it seems the people who have real results, you know, people you'd think couldn't pass and then end up passing totally from HRT, seem to have started at 20-21 or younger.  Is there even a point in starting at 26, a few months from 27?  I mean, my HGH must be all but used up and I'm sure I've shut up shop for puberty in the last couple years.  I can be on HRT tomorrow, but I just don't know...

I just can't see having drastic results like some girls do and to be honest, I feel like I'd need drastic results.  I just can't see it at 26 and with a full on male skeleton.  At my age and weight it seems pretty unlikely that I'll have adequate changes.  I'm sure I'll get breast growth, but I'm also sure they'll end up being very underdeveloped and strangely shaped.  I can't see getting any fat on my butt or hips either.  I'd love to watch my face chance and my body as well, but I feel I'd have to weigh a lot for that to happen, enough that I'd look huge based off the weight alone and I just can't see how I could end up looking more feminine.

I don't really know what to do or even what I'm looking for in posting this, but is there a huge difference between starting at 20ish and starting at 26?  I'm pretty sure there is and I'm having a difficult time coming to terms with that.  On ->-bleeped-<- there's a girl who started at 20 and after 4 years has a totally different face and body.  She was skinny like myself, actually had a very similar built to me, until I grew a bit more that is.  She seems to have developed to around a d-cup.  I've read plenty saying that at 20 a female body is still achievable, but at 26 is it just kind of minor changes?  I just feel like there's no point.

Hi TQ. Seems like me and you share a lot of concerns. I freaked out a bit and deleted my account. But ye I've become kind of obsessive about looking on ->-bleeped-<- and anywhere on the internet tbh of transitions of people age 25-30ish. I'd also really like to hear what other people think. Like when I hear someone around 21 worrying about whether they will pass I think-of course you will because of your age-so I'd really like to hear what older people think when they hear someone like me at 25 saying the same thing. It could be bad news but I'd rather know. I mean there does seem to be an age where miracles literally are possible, but I don't know what that is. Probably not helpful but from what I've seen it seems like there is this age between like 25-35 where although puberty is long over if you have a good starting point some pretty amazing transformations are possible. Not that people who are older don't but you know on average. Think for me the fact that I went through puberty pretty early is a killer. But I think you'll be ok

Hey OJ, yeah, what kills me is that I went through puberty late.  I got tall real fast, but I didn't broaden up until rather late.  I basically would say that I could still be experiencing the tail end of puberty.  A few hairs have popped up on my shoulders over the last year or so, still have acne breakouts, and my face only just recently seemed to stop changing.   

OK, I'm 45.  I started HRT at 43.  I'm 6'2" and have a bigger ribcage than most of the NFL.

Guess what?  I'm happy.  People see me as an amazon cis woman 99.9% of the time, and the other .1% are usually other transwomen.  I don't give a rodent's rectum if I'm "hot" or have big fat knockers.  I'm finally free to be me, and that's all that matters.

Comparing myself to other women, or playing the "what if" game doesn't get me anywhere, and I refuse to go there.  It's all about feeling better about myself.  Honestly, the day I stopped caring about what anyone else thought of me was the best day I ever had in my transition.

You never know what will happen until you actually try, even if it takes FFS and a BA in the end to make you like what you see in the mirror.

Screw societal expectations.  The point was to feel comfortable in my own skin and drop the ridiculous "dudebro" act. 

Mission accomplished.

Quote from: Jill F on December 03, 2014, 06:13:09 PM
OK, I'm 45.  I started HRT at 43.  I'm 6'2" and have a bigger ribcage than most of the NFL.

Guess what?  I'm happy.  People see me as an amazon cis woman 99.9% of the time, and the other .1% are usually other transwomen.  I don't give a rodent's rectum if I'm "hot" or have big fat knockers.  I'm finally free to be me, and that's all that matters.

Comparing myself to other women, or playing the "what if" game doesn't get me anywhere, and I refuse to go there.  It's all about feeling better about myself.  Honestly, the day I stopped caring about what anyone else thought of me was the best day I ever had in my transition.

You never know what will happen until you actually try, even if it takes FFS and a BA in the end to make you like what you see in the mirror.

Screw societal expectations.  The point was to feel comfortable in my own skin and drop the ridiculous "dudebro" act. 

Mission accomplished.

I respect that Jill and I understand what your saying, and you are right, but I just feel really bad that I may have waited a measly couple years too long and TBH, I do want to be hot.  I feel like if I pass I'll be attractive, but I just don't know if I could pass.  Everything would just be easier for me if I passed, and I'd regret it if I didn't pass.  I guess pass or not, is 26, in most cases, too old to expect real soft tissue changes, etc?

well, you just need to ask yourself why you want to be the opposite gender from your birth. I'm 60 something, wish
I was 18, but I'm not.

Quote from: TheQuestion on December 03, 2014, 06:22:04 PM
I respect that Jill and I understand what your saying, and you are right, but I just feel really bad that I may have waited a measly couple years too long and TBH, I do want to be hot.  I feel like if I pass I'll be attractive, but I just don't know if I could pass.  Everything would just be easier for me if I passed, and I'd regret it if I didn't pass.  I guess pass or not, is 26, in most cases, too old to expect real soft tissue changes, etc?

I thought at first that I'd just look like a shaven ape in a dress and spend all day dodging objects being thrown at me. We all have our doubts.  It's normal.

I definitely had some noticeable soft tissue changes.  I even had a man call me "beautiful" last week.  Hell, I pass without makeup now.  In fact, I get more attention from men that I ever wanted.  That wasn't the point.

The thing about being "hot" is that it can also be a curse sometimes.  I have a friend who is a drop-dead gorgeous actress who sometimes will just stay at home because the creeps out there won't ever leave her alone.  Last time we went out, she wore baggy sweats, a baseball hat, and very unflattering makeup- AKA, "beat with the ugly stick". 

Be careful what you wish for.

A big part of why I want to be female is the way I look and I'm afraid it can't be changed much.  I literally have a hard time looking in the mirror these days.  I hate the way that my body looks...

Quote from: Jill F on December 03, 2014, 06:37:20 PM
I thought at first that I'd just look like a shaven ape in a dress and spend all day dodging objects being thrown at me. We all have our doubts.  It's normal.

I definitely had some noticeable soft tissue changes.  I even had a man call me "beautiful" last week.  Hell, I pass without makeup now.  In fact, I get more attention from men that I ever wanted.  That wasn't the point.

The thing about being "hot" is that it can also be a curse sometimes.  I have a friend who is a drop-dead gorgeous actress who sometimes will just stay at home because the creeps out there won't ever leave her alone.  Last time we went out, she wore baggy sweats, a baseball hat, and very unflattering makeup- AKA, "beat with the ugly stick". 

Be careful what you wish for.

Well, I can wish all I want, but I don't think that will end up happening to me TBH.

have you talked to a therapist

Quote from: TheQuestion on December 03, 2014, 06:39:14 PM
I literally have a hard time looking in the mirror these days.  I hate the way that my body looks...

So you're damned if you do and damned if you don't?  I get it.  I was there. 

I transitioned. 

Basically I traded one set of problems that were unsolvable for a set that I could solve.  The problems are now all being resolved, but I definitely could not go on like I was before.  I would have drank myself to death by now had I not transitioned when I did.  I thankfully got to it just before male pattern baldness reached the point of no return.   If you're in your 20s, do you think you can go on like this and feel this way forever?   I thought so as well, and I tried to suck it up so I'd take my deepest, darkest secret to my grave.  And I almost did.  Twice inside of a month.  Waking up in the hospital really sucks.  The $75K in ER bills could have easily paid for my transition right there.  The problem (and a lot of us older transitioners can back me up on this) is that gender dysphoria just gets progressively worse over the years.

Please address this as soon as you are able.  See a gender therapist if you are not doing so already.  The damned if you do, damned if you don't thing ate me alive and tortured me for years.

Hugs,
Jill

Quote from: stephaniec on December 03, 2014, 06:48:04 PM
have you talked to a therapist

Extensively.  I can be on HRT tomorrow.  I've even gone into see my therapist all dressed up and she pretty much told me that she could see me passing already, even at this early point in the game and that I looked "good, more than good actually."  Told me that 26 is still more than young enough to get pretty dynamic results, but I just have a hard time seeing that.  I partially feel like she's just humoring me/has bad eye sight.  When she first met me she said that she felt I had a high likelihood of passing, but I just really don't know what people are seeing.

Quote from: Jill F on December 03, 2014, 06:53:47 PM
So you're damned if you do and damned if you don't?  I get it.  I was there. 

I transitioned. 

Basically I traded one set of problems that were unsolvable for a set that I could solve.  The problems are now all being resolved, but I definitely could not go on like I was before.  I would have drank myself to death by now had I not transitioned when I did.  I thankfully got to it just before male pattern baldness reached the point of no return.   If you're in your 20s, do you think you can go on like this and feel this way forever?   I thought so as well, and I tried to suck it up so I'd take my deepest, darkest secret to my grave.  And I almost did.  Twice inside of a month.  Waking up in the hospital really sucks.  The $75K in ER bills could have easily paid for my transition right there.  The problem (and a lot of us older transitioners can back me up on this) is that gender dysphoria just gets progressively worse over the years.

Please address this as soon as you are able.  See a gender therapist if you are not doing so already.  The damned if you do, damned if you don't thing ate me alive and tortured me for years.

Hugs,
Jill

Good points Jill, and I can sympathize.  It's already gotten pretty bad for me.  I've been in two hospitals over the last 6 months, including a weeks stay at a psychiatric hospital.  Problem is, I'm not depressed because I'm trans; I'm depressed because I have a hard time seeing how I'd pass at my age and I feel that I just barely missed the chance for drastic changes.  That's really hard for me.  I was going to see a therapist when I was 18, but I was still under my mothers insurance and didn't want her to find out.  If I was 10 years older, then I may feel better in thinking that I wasn't even close, but when your only a couple years removed from puberty, if not just finishing, it's sort of an extra punch to the stomach.  I'd say it's going to happen.  I'm going on HRT, but I just wish I could be realistically thinking that I could end up looking different when I sort of feel like I'm clinging to false hope.  I seem to be losing more and more hope as I think of beginning HRT.

If you are thinking about, or wanting to, transitioning to look 'hot', forget it!  Some of us do, most of us don't.  If you are transitioning because you have to stay alive, (like a limb amputation of a gangrenous growth), then do it to stay alive.

What you look like will develop and generally improve with HRT, given enough time and money.  I played tight end in HS.  I transitioned at 22/23.  I never had a problem passing despite my height or my slender build.  (Yes, I lost about 15lbs in muscle mass due to the hormones, but I have replaced that weight over the decades with fat in all the right places.)

Nope, not transitioning because I want to look hot, BUT what woman doesn't want to be attractive?  I'm pretty worried about my appearance because I KNOW I'd have been hot if I'd have gotten some help before 20.  I'd be kind of devastating to look in the mirror and see a man when if I'd begun just a few years earlier I'd have totally passed.  I'm a good looking guy and at that point I'd have been an easy transition.  Mostly I just want to blend in and barring some drastic results, I don't think that'd be possible.  My frame is definitely masculine, but it could potentially still be diluted if I had good results in terms of body changes.

I started at 32, and went from a big square guy to blending in as a woman within six months (I have never been misgendered since then, and have had people argue with me when I say I was born male). There are plenty of people who are older than 25 who've had fantastic results, and barely even look related to their former selves.

As Jill says, the worst that can happen on HRT is still better than where you are now...

Quote from: TheQuestion on December 03, 2014, 09:29:36 PM
Nope, not transitioning because I want to look hot, BUT what woman doesn't want to be attractive?  I'm pretty worried about my appearance because I KNOW I'd have been hot if I'd have gotten some help before 20.  I'd be kind of devastating to look in the mirror and see a man when if I'd begun just a few years earlier I'd have totally passed.  I'm a good looking guy and at that point I'd have been an easy transition.  Mostly I just want to blend in and barring some drastic results, I don't think that'd be possible.  My frame is definitely masculine, but it could potentially still be diluted if I had good results in terms of body changes.

You assume that you'd pass if you'd started younger. Something I've learnt about transition is assume nothing.

I started way later than you.. And I've been on hormones for almost 4 years now. I've got a masculine body, no boobs worth mentioning and plenty of other 'male' physical markers. Doesn't seem to matter - I'm seen and accepted as a woman - by both people who know and those that don't. The right attitude and some confidence go a long way.. As does having a handle on all the things that are not looks-specific. Doesn't matter how 'good' you look, if you are standing like a man, someone will notice..

I transitioned at 18  at planning on getting ffs in about five years to be total stealth but for Now i pass

If this forum had a dollar for every time that question or similar is asked it would be doing well! Look there may be some physiological benefits to transitioning early but you're losing nothing by starting now. If you don't do it now you'll be asking yourself "is 30 too late" in a few years. I had the chance to transition when I was 23 and blew it then spent the next twenty years telling myself I was too old. Guess what? Turns out I'm not.

Quote from: TheQuestion on December 03, 2014, 06:22:04 PM
I respect that Jill and I understand what your saying, and you are right, but I just feel really bad that I may have waited a measly couple years too long and TBH, I do want to be hot.  I feel like if I pass I'll be attractive, but I just don't know if I could pass.  Everything would just be easier for me if I passed, and I'd regret it if I didn't pass.  I guess pass or not, is 26, in most cases, too old to expect real soft tissue changes, etc?

I kind of wish I started when I was 10 but I'm glad I now have an established career and kids. Kids would have been out of the picture if I transitioned earlier. Sure there is adoption but to me it's not the same as having your own.