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Big, big week coming up…a bit petrified actually.

Started by Ms Grace, December 07, 2014, 01:47:09 AM

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Ms Grace

Still no word on the job, but I was told by someone I know who works there that Thursday evening was the staff Xmas party and that, consequently, Friday staffing was a  skeleton crew so I'd be unlikely to hear anything until Monday. Sounds like they have good parties! Anyway, I'll wait and see, if I haven't heard anything by the end on Monday I'll figure the gig is up and I'll need to look elsewhere.

As for the lunch with my father yesterday... I'm still processing that.

Objectively I think I can say it went well. Subjectively I was disappointed he felt compelled to call me by my male name but I decided to ignore that.

Overall, things got better as the lunch progressed, conversation was about general stuff - I should note that my supportive mother was there too. My father never talks much but he contributed to the conversation at least as much as he usually does, he was in a reasonable mood and even laughed a number of times. There was no discussion of my transition, I was modestly dressed but unmistakably female in my presentation (my mother said she really like my skirt!)... and I figure, like me, he is now processing the interaction. I'll have to hear what, if anything, he thinks via my mother at some point. My only hope is that he'll see that, female appearance aside, I am the same person, albeit happier.
Grace
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Transition 1.0 (Julie): HRT 1989-91
Self-denial: 1991-2013
Transition 2.0 (Grace): HRT June 24 2013
Full-time: March 24, 2014 :D
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ImagineKate

Good luck. You're right about the holidays. Our vacation calendar is fully booked and hiring usually resumes full speed afterwards.

How did he know your male name though? Oh never mind that's your dad. Trying to juggle decorating the tree here and kids bouncing around lol.
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katiej

I'm going through the hiring process myself right now as well. Sometimes it's tough to know how well you've done. I felt like I bombed a first interview earlier this week and then they invited me in for a second interview.  So best of luck...and hopefully it won't be too torturous waiting to hear from them.  :)
"Before I do anything I ask myself would an idiot do that? And if the answer is yes, I do not do that thing." --Dwight Schrute
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stephaniec

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katrinaw

Hope you get some good news early next week.

I too have been waiting for a go ahead for a role that is mine (contract) but no start due to Xmas and new year, no value in starting anyone prior... also, generally company focus is on numbers not HR at this time of year  :-\

Glad lunch was good, shame about the acceptance... but sounds a positive step in the right direction  ;)

L Katy
Long term MTF in transition... HRT since ~ 2003...
Journey recommenced Sept 2015  :eusa_clap:... planning FT 2016  :eusa_pray:

Randomly changing 'Katy PIC's'

Live life, embrace life and love life xxx
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Cindy

That's good news all around Grace. I had a vision of Dad jumping up and berating you!

I know our hiring process is down until the New year so it may take a few weeks to get a reply from the interview.

Good Luck Hon
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Ms Grace

Thanks everyone. I think the issue with my father still using my male name is denial but also him trying to exert some sense of control on the situation. I'm just going to ignore him for the time being and pretend that he isn't doing it.
Grace
----------------------------------------------
Transition 1.0 (Julie): HRT 1989-91
Self-denial: 1991-2013
Transition 2.0 (Grace): HRT June 24 2013
Full-time: March 24, 2014 :D
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Cindy

Quote from: Ms Grace on December 14, 2014, 01:44:06 AM
Thanks everyone. I think the issue with my father still using my male name is denial but also him trying to exert some sense of control on the situation. I'm just going to ignore him for the time being and pretend that he isn't doing it.

Are you visiting them over Christmas? If so think of having a nice make over, sexy dress and looking a $million. Should scare the bejesus out of him :laugh:
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Ms Grace

Sadly I don't think I will be. Xmas is at my sister's this year and since she's still a hold out regarding me meeting her 10 year old daughter (who apparently I might "confuse the sexuality of", according to her counsellor) I am not invited.  :P No worries, if it's a nice day I might go to the beach instead.
Grace
----------------------------------------------
Transition 1.0 (Julie): HRT 1989-91
Self-denial: 1991-2013
Transition 2.0 (Grace): HRT June 24 2013
Full-time: March 24, 2014 :D
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Cindy

I'm alone Christmas day as well, the bikini may get a workout on the beach - haven't done that before  :o
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Ellesmira the Duck

How exciting! Terrifying, but exciting! I'm rooting for you, and we expect details! I'll be in your shoes before too long, never been to a job interview presenting female before, kind of terrified and not totally sure what to wear. I hope your meeting with your parents go well. GOOD LUCK! Go get 'em girl! ^_^
Live a life with no regrets and be the person you know you were meant to be.

I am a weird girl, I like video games and skirts, swords and nail polish, sharks and black lace...not sure if that's normal, definitely sure that I don't care. =P
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V M

I will also be alone for Christmas and snow is predicted, maybe I'll put on a bikini and sit in the yard

Wishing you all the best for your job prospects Grace, you're a rather bright and intellegent gal, I'm sure something good will turn up
The main things to remember in life are Love, Kindness, Understanding and Respect - Always make forward progress

Superficial fanny kissing friends are a dime a dozen, a TRUE FRIEND however is PRICELESS


- V M
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suzifrommd

Quote from: Ms Grace on December 14, 2014, 01:44:06 AM
Thanks everyone. I think the issue with my father still using my male name is denial but also him trying to exert some sense of control on the situation. I'm just going to ignore him for the time being and pretend that he isn't doing it.

I think you've nailed it. Maybe kind of a "you can live like a woman but I'll accept you when I'M ready" assertion. Like you said, you can't control him, so ignoring him might be the best option. Probably good each time you meet with him to say at least once "please call me Grace" so he doesn't start thinking you've become OK with it.

BTW love the Christmas avatar pic!
Have you read my short story The Eve of Triumph?
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Ms Grace

Grace
----------------------------------------------
Transition 1.0 (Julie): HRT 1989-91
Self-denial: 1991-2013
Transition 2.0 (Grace): HRT June 24 2013
Full-time: March 24, 2014 :D
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Auroramarianna

Ohhhh I wish your sister was more accepting. What if your niece told her: "why did I have to wait so long to meet Aunt Gracie" when you met? It would be awesome :) I wish you a Merry Christmas!!! Oh we need xmas smilies btw!!
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stephaniec

I'll be alone too, I'll think I'll buy a bikini and cook a turkey and some rutabaga
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Ms Grace

Quote from: Auroramarianna on December 14, 2014, 05:20:36 AM
Ohhhh I wish your sister was more accepting. What if your niece told her: "why did I have to wait so long to meet Aunt Gracie" when you met?

That's my concern too, that my niece might eventually hold it against my sister for keeping me a "secret". It's not that my sister isn't accepting, it's that she's received some very bad advice from her (stupid) counsellor... :P

Quote from: stephaniec on December 14, 2014, 05:26:14 AM
I'll be alone too, I'll think I'll buy a bikini and cook a turkey and some rutabaga

Are you cooking the turkey in your bikini...?
Grace
----------------------------------------------
Transition 1.0 (Julie): HRT 1989-91
Self-denial: 1991-2013
Transition 2.0 (Grace): HRT June 24 2013
Full-time: March 24, 2014 :D
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stephaniec

I have to , its winter in Chicago , I could join the polar bear club though , but the lake isn't frozen yet so I'll just have to go with the turkey cooking
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BreezyB

Fingers crossed for the job Grace. Your dad sounds a lot like mine was, but not with me, my brother who came out as gay when he was 19. My dad just never mentioned it, albeit my brother and partner (male) were both coming to christmas yet it was as if he would just rather not know. But he did come round and was very accepting, but still never talked about it.
"I don't care if the world knows what my secrets are" - Mary Lambert



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Eva Marie

Hopefully your dad will come around Grace - the fact that he knows about you and hasn't rejected you is a good sign I think. Just be polite but firm about him calling you Grace, but make sure he knows that you are still his child too. Your dad is dealing with a lot of feelings right now, and him knowing that you have not morphed into some strange creature and he can still see "you" is reassuring to him.

I'm sure that you will get offered the job. It would be their loss if they don't extend a job offer to you.

My parents wavered and waffled around for awhile but somewhere in that process they reached a decision to reject me. At least I know how they feel, and that issue is settled for once and for all. Makes holiday planning easier too  :)
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