I was born male. That was the hand I was dealt and never imagined it could be any different so I ran with it as best I could. I found things to take comfort or even pride in. Stereotypical things that made me fit in or be closer to "normal", even just a little bit. Like having big feet, a deep voice that I've always been complimented on, etc.

Now these things bug me, which feels like a betrayal. They've been there for me for a really long time. Any time I needed to walk somewhere, BAM, set of feet that work perfectly well. Score!

I read a lot of folks saying they've always hated such and such about themselves, but for me these things were good for me and played a part in how I defined myself. Right up until I decided that I had defined myself all wrong, based on what others wanted and expected. So now I've got a sort of love/hate relationship going on with them. I guess it isn't too bad since we should try to be happy with what we've got, especially that which we cannot change.

Anybody else experienced this sort of thing, and if so how did you resolve the conflicted feelings?

I can't say that I did but I think you'll find this is quite common - it usually comes about because people use those particular gendered traits to help confirm what, deep down, they often hope...and that is that they are not trans. "How can I be trans when I have "X"?" Of course, physical features are not a guide to whether anyone is trans, the way we relate to those features isn't either really. But they usually become a burden once we connect fully with our trans gender identity.

Sounds very recognizable to me. I am tall 6.1ft, had a heavy voice, bigger feet, etc etc. Standing out I never was a huge fan of but I did like being tall, having big feet and all that because it made me a real man . When I realized I just over did everything because I tried something not suiting me.. I realized that all which was once just fine suddenly became my biggest insecurities.

Just as how you once tried to be masculine, first you want to focus on now is being feminine. And thus all you were proud on as a male is now to masculine to like. You just have to start teaching yourself that what you were proud on as masculine traits, can be feminine traits as well. It takes time but.. that is transitioning D:! I can't give you any tips, just give it time and if insecure about something, find role-models who have the same traits as you do. That is what helps me a bit.