I went to the doctor today to talk about breathing issues I have, and they started talking about my menstrual cycle (I haven't had a period in over a year) and how my testosterone levels are unusually high and at our next appointment, they'll figure out what's wrong with me and prescribe something to fix it but i've been feeling increasingly like i might just be ftm instead of gender fluid and the way i feel about my body keeps getting worse and idk how i'll handle more periods and less testosterone because it's hard enough trying to accept my chest and other parts and I haven't self harmed in a while but i feel like another period might be my breaking point. I don't know if i should come out to my transphobic parents earlier than i was wanting to so that maybe the doctors will be able to do something to help me (Would they be able to do something or would they still have to lower my testosterone levels?) or maybe it won't be as bad as i think it will be? I'm turning 18 in 10 months so should i still wait until im out of the house or should i come out now and if i come out would there be anything the doctors could do to fix whatever problems i have without causing dysphoria (possibly without my parents' permission or acknowledgment that i'm trans)?

One thing at a time . Your immediate medical need sounds like the breathing issues. Perhaps wait and see what problems the doctors think you have and what treatment they recommend first. Totally you have understandable fears but I think maybe you should wait till you find out more before making any plans.

I don't quite understand how your testosterone level is linked to your breathing problems    And if it isn't then you are within your rights to say that you are quite happy with your hormone levels (unless of course there is significant danger in which case you still get to make an informed choice).

Consider that doctors can't tell your parents about what you discuss with them. You don't need your parents permission to discuss your health with your doctor. If you trust them then do you feel that coming out to your doc with your fears would be reasonable option?

I'm sorry I don't have any advice on the gender stuff but I do have a little on the medical stuff.
I don't know your situation or all your symptoms but a few years ago I also went to my doctor about my periods. I also hadn't had a period in over a year. Test after test came back normal. Then, completely by accident, they found out I had thyroid cancer. I am 20+ years younger than the normal age for thyroid cancer so we were all shocked. 3 weeks to the day that my thyroid was removed, my period came back. Not only that but it is now almost predicable to the day that it will start. I have NEVER had a regular period so it's been an adjustment.

My point to all this is that you should get your period problems checked very carefully. I understand the dysphoria that comes from having a period but it's better than cancer or someone equally serious.   

Quote from: perrystephens on December 15, 2014, 08:52:14 PM
I went to the doctor today to talk about breathing issues I have, and they started talking about my menstrual cycle (I haven't had a period in over a year) and how my testosterone levels are unusually high and at our next appointment, they'll figure out what's wrong with me and prescribe something to fix it but i've been feeling increasingly like i might just be ftm instead of gender fluid and the way i feel about my body keeps getting worse and idk how i'll handle more periods and less testosterone because it's hard enough trying to accept my chest and other parts and I haven't self harmed in a while but i feel like another period might be my breaking point. I don't know if i should come out to my transphobic parents earlier than i was wanting to so that maybe the doctors will be able to do something to help me (Would they be able to do something or would they still have to lower my testosterone levels?) or maybe it won't be as bad as i think it will be? I'm turning 18 in 10 months so should i still wait until im out of the house or should i come out now and if i come out would there be anything the doctors could do to fix whatever problems i have without causing dysphoria (possibly without my parents' permission or acknowledgment that i'm trans)?

Nicole is correct that taking care of the immediate breathing issue is the next indicated thing.  I mean breathing is kind of important.   So next fall you will be eighteen.  You talked a little about your transphobic parents.  First off, they love you and might surprise you, but what is the worst case possible?  Suppose they cut you off and kick you out.  There are way to many trans kids living day to day because that has happened.  What if they forbid you to continue to take your medications - kind of amounts to the same thing as kicking you out, what is your plan B?

If you're on transition dosages of T your body is changing rapidly.  How are you dealing with hair growth and muscle mass changes?  So can you continue as you are until you're out of school and on your own?  I dunno, gender fluidity is a little tricky. If you need to go to a full male presentation that has costs and risks.  How will you pull that off without your parents support?  I haven't any answers and I don't mean to be depressing.  To be given the gift of knowledge and authenticity when you are young is such a wonderful thing.  I get that dysphoria is an imperative, that waiting is difficult and may be impossible, but these are all things that I hope you will talk about with your therapist and your doctor.  It is way better to have a plan than to not have one, and way better to do what you can to keep yourself safe and whole while you journey to who you are.

I wish you peace,

Julie

I've had the breathing problem for about 2 years and mostly done fine so it's not really an immediate problem. I go to a free Indian Clinic that's an hour from my house so they try to set up as many appointments and solve as many problems at once as they can. That's why I went in for a breathing problem and ended up talking about periods. They're pretty sure it's just because i have a lot of testosterone (I grow a lot of hair on my stomach/ under my neck) so it's most likely nothing more serious. I'm not on T I just happen to naturally have a lot of testosterone and so it wouldn't be continuing as i am, it would be taking away some of what i have and probably causing more dysphoria than i already have. I'm not asking for surgery or testosterone at this point, just that they don't mess with the little bit of testosterone I naturally have.

I think that answers everyone's questions. I don't have a therapist (we can't afford gas to drive an hour away and back on a regular basis for therapy) but i'll try to talk to my doctor alone about it if he starts trying to medicate me or something to solve the problem.

That sounds entirely a reasonable plan of attack,

Good luck!