My parents are going out of town so I want to invite her over tonight. I'm not planning on having sex tonight, but I am concerned about binding. The last girl I dated, I would bind all night every time I slept over, and then all day at work. I think I once kept my binder on for over two days straight. I don't want to end up in that situation again. And this time it's very different because this is the woman I am in love with. She's very open minded. Always telling me she doesn't care that my body isn't how I want it yet. But I'm just so uncomfortable. My chest is very small, but I don't want them or my nipples pressing against her back and her being aware that they're there. I don't know what to do. Use my loosest binder? A sports bra? Or just learn to accept my chest for now.. Help?

Kam, this is probably not going to help much, but I just wanted to say that in the pictures you posted a while back I saw nothing but a male chest. Not even a male chest with gynecomastia.

What about a lightly compressing tank top? I personally feel better with that than a bra type of thing...even if it doesn't compress too much.

maybe you can try an atheletic compression shirt?

I've slept in a sports bra for years.  It hasn't seemed to do me any harm.  Maybe if you use your loosest one.

Chris

Adrian thanks man but really my chest only looks that way with my arms stretched above my head. Lying on my side with nothing on makes all that skin and fat fall to the middle of my chest. Making a little bit of cleavage. It could be so much worse, I know, but I just can't relax and it's really important to me that we're both comfortable. She has trouble relaxing with guys so I don't want to make things worse for her. I guess I could look into some compression shirts. Are there any you guys would recommend for night time use? When I'm alone I actually sleep completely naked. During the day, I feel like my binder is crushing my soul. When I sleep is the only time I get to be free and not held down by any clothes. So sleeping with another person is something I struggle with anyways.

Quote from: KamTheMan on December 18, 2014, 11:54:15 AM
Adrian thanks man but really my chest only looks that way with my arms stretched above my head. Lying on my side with nothing on makes all that skin and fat fall to the middle of my chest. Making a little bit of cleavage. It could be so much worse, I know, but I just can't relax and it's really important to me that we're both comfortable. She has trouble relaxing with guys so I don't want to make things worse for her. I guess I could look into some compression shirts. Are there any you guys would recommend for night time use? When I'm alone I actually sleep completely naked. During the day, I feel like my binder is crushing my soul. When I sleep is the only time I get to be free and not held down by any clothes. So sleeping with another person is something I struggle with anyways.

Perhaps it could be useful to try some on at a sporting goods store? You can see how airy the fabric is. I too sleep completely naked when I'm alone, and usually what I do around others (depending on how close we are- this is for when I'm very close with someone) is boxers and a tank top. Though recently I've struggled with the tank because I am getting worse chest dysphoria. If you can find a compression shirt that's very breathable, that may be great.

Quote from: KamTheMan on December 18, 2014, 11:54:15 AM
Adrian thanks man but really my chest only looks that way with my arms stretched above my head. Lying on my side with nothing on makes all that skin and fat fall to the middle of my chest. Making a little bit of cleavage. It could be so much worse, I know, but I just can't relax and it's really important to me that we're both comfortable..

I totally understand! I hope you found a way of making things work for both of you!

Also don't be too worried about your nipples. Men have them too, theirs also get hard and etc. So you shouldn't be too stressed. She loves you too and I'm sure she won't be uncomfortable unless you are

so how did it go?

I'd say wear a big sweatshirt to bed if possible. Also your chest is tiny she probably wont feel much. Especially if your pressed against her as opposed to your chest is just grazing her back.

I know this is too late as you already had the weekend. However if she loves you and knows about your condition, I think she would be more comfortable with you just being natural without the binders and possibly even sleeping naked against her naked body.

How did it go?

Thank you all for the feedback. It actually hasn't happened yet. We're being careful not to rush things and we're crazy busy/tired from work. We have a date planned Wednesday night though!

Quote from: KamTheMan on December 22, 2014, 06:59:36 AM
Thank you all for the feedback. It actually hasn't happened yet. We're being careful not to rush things and we're crazy busy/tired from work. We have a date planned Wednesday night though!

Let us know how it goes.

Quote from: KamTheMan on December 22, 2014, 06:59:36 AM
Thank you all for the feedback. It actually hasn't happened yet. We're being careful not to rush things and we're crazy busy/tired from work. We have a date planned Wednesday night though!

For what it is worth, I wore my binder or sports bra for over 10 years with all of my partners prior to surgery. It didn't bother a single one.  You will be more comfortable being close to her and being "active" sexually if your chest is covered/hidden.  At least that it is what it was like for me.

Quote from: Brett on December 22, 2014, 09:31:01 PM
For what it is worth, I wore my binder or sports bra for over 10 years with all of my partners prior to surgery. It didn't bother a single one.  You will be more comfortable being close to her and being "active" sexually if your chest is covered/hidden.  At least that it is what it was like for me.

Not for everybody - they might prefer the body contact. Maybe he should discuss it with her to see what they prefer.

She said she's staying over at my place tonight. Still not sure what I'm gonna do. I never bought a compression shirt. I might wear a loose binder or just layer a beater and t-shirt. I'm nervous but excited.

Quote from: mac1 on December 22, 2014, 09:36:07 PM
Not for everybody - they might prefer the body contact. Maybe he should discuss it with her to see what they prefer.

She very well might.  My partners probably would have too.  The issue was my chest dysphoria, which is what appears to be the concern/purpose of this thread...his chest dysphoria.

Quote from: mac1 on December 30, 2014, 08:32:59 PM
I still think that he should discuss it with her first. She might find the binder unacceptable.

Kam already said that she doesn't care, but he's uncomfortable and has dysphoria about it. Talking to her is a good idea, but I don't really understand why she'd find it unacceptable because of his discomfort and wanting skin to skin contact.  Knowing about someone being trans doesn't mean that your own discomfort goes away. We all know it's much deeper than just having acceptance from another person. 

@Kam: Hope it goes/went well for you! Good luck

Hey guys! She stayed over last night. I ended up wearing one of my oldest binders that I had cut short. So it was easier to sleep than when I wear my daily binder.  I tried seeing how I'd feel with a beater layered over a cut off shirt but I just couldn't relax. I also didn't pack, which messed with my head a few times but I was mostly able to ignore it. We're going out for New Years tonight so she's staying over again!

Hey, I'm glad it didn't go too badly I'm sure, you'll both get attuned once the newness of the situation wears off a little and be able to relax more!