I will say though, even though all the people I knew pre-transition (except one couple) left me, I have gained at least as many friends and family (thank you, fiancé and her family) as before...and these people are MUCH better and more deserving of the sparkle that I am!!

It *does* get better!

My family doesn't know yet, but ice always been the black sheep. So this year I decided I'm not JUST the black sheep.....I'm the black sheep with the cute pink bow. [emoji4]

Bobbi

I won't see my two daughters - aged 26 and 25 - at all this Christmas. No card, no present, no nothing. If I'm lucky I'll get a little bit of time with my 16 year-old son. My wife has been running a brutal campaign against me for a couple of years now. the last time I spoke to my younger daughter - a former medical student who has also suffered from anorexia, so she should be both knowledgeable and empathetic - she called me, 'A ->-bleeped-<-ing freak.' And this is BEFORE any visible signs of transition.

I'm totally devastated. But i guess my wife has already taken everything from me, so what more do I have to lose?

(On the plus side, my dad and my sisters have been incredible, as have my friends, so I am not alone).

Quote from: Carlita on December 18, 2014, 09:33:17 AM
I won't see my two daughters - aged 26 and 25 - at all this Christmas. No card, no present, no nothing. If I'm lucky I'll get a little bit of time with my 16 year-old son. My wife has been running a brutal campaign against me for a couple of years now. the last time I spoke to my younger daughter - a former medical student who has also suffered from anorexia, so she should be both knowledgeable and empathetic - she called me, 'A ->-bleeped-<-ing freak.' And this is BEFORE any visible signs of transition.

I'm totally devastated. But i guess my wife has already taken everything from me, so what more do I have to lose?

(On the plus side, my dad and my sisters have been incredible, as have my friends, so I am not alone).

the pluses definitely help

Quote from: stephaniec on December 18, 2014, 09:42:34 AM
the pluses definitely help

That's true .. but to lose the love of the children I fathered and raised and supported all their lives ... that rips out my heart.

Oh my god, my absolute condolences to those who have posted in this thread with terrible families!! I can't even begin to imagine how hard that must be... I have gone through a really low point in the last 6 or 8 weeks, a lot due to being I a lot of physical pain which has just been surgically corrected in the last week , but also a lot to do with a few trans related struggles I've had.. However I have had an amazing supportive family, especially my mum who has just been and absolute rock for me, and has been so so amazing, we are closer than ever and I'm just so happy about that.. Even the heavily religious members of my family have been really great, with messages of support etc. Religion is no excuse for bigotry..!! We're going to have a big family Christmas with 20+ people attending, I'm really looking forward to it! Even with this lovely support, things have been hard enough, and without it, I can't even imagine, I don't think I would be here... I am so amazed by the strength of you all, your families should realise how lucky they are to have you!!! It just makes me so mad hearing these stories!!
I'm not intending to gloat with my wee story, I'm just trying to say that there is no excuse for these so called 'family' members to be so horrible... it is their problem, not yours.. I think you're all amazing! I wish I could hug you all and invite to our Christmas at the beach   -it's summer here by the way :p
Anyway I wish you all love over the holidays   Claire.

I don't understand the sheer venom that so many people get from their own flesh and blood.  My heart goes out to all who do.

As for me, I'm cut off from my dad--which cuts me off from a lot of my family.  My brother and sister (who've been very good to me) insisted that at his great age he simply wouldn't be able to deal with ->-bleeped-<-, and I had to agree that they were right.

But virtually all of my family are on the other side of the ocean, so I wouldn't see them terribly often anyway.  As it is, I'll have Christmas with my son who's proven to be the best son in the world.  We always have a quiet Christmas--a bit of drink, a lot of food, a lot of films.  We always enjoy being together for a few days.  So I'm looking forward to a good time.

I can add to this list. This year I'm not seeing the family for any of our usual events, including Christmas. I've only been around them this year for the funeral of my grandfather, where they did their best to treat me as "their son, Kyle" and acted like nothing was different. My dad spoke to me then, but otherwise avoids communicating with me in any way. My mom will talk to me, but completely avoids the topic of my transition. If it comes up, she starts a nasty, abusive fight with me about it. I have to hang up on her to preserve my sanity, but then she tries to call back over and over for the next half hour. I then have to turn my phone off. I don't know why I bother. At least my brother is on my side.

I'm not going to let them turn me bitter this year. I've lived out of state for a few years now, so I've created my own group of new friends and family here. If that family won't let me have a merry Christmas, then this one will.

Ouch. I'm so sorry.

I'm actually traveling to see my family this year... but I hear through the grapevine that my in-laws, who disowned my wife for staying married to me, have been saying they hope I die soon so I can get to hell faster. (Needless to say, I don't miss THEM!)

The bad - I will be spending Christmas this year away from my abusive and non-accepting spouse and my two daughters who are victims & have fallen into her bitterness and hatred of me thru her influences. My daughters are 13 & 11 and haven't spoken to me in weeks, which is really killing me considering we used to be very close and tightly involved in sports together.

On the slightly brighter side, but yet to be determined how merry it will be. I'm heading on about a 6 hours drive from Minneapolis, MN to the border of Wisconsin/Illinois to spend my first Christmas in about 8 years with my parents and extended older brothers and sisters - 3 of each, plus all the nieces and nephews that come with it. I'm out fully to my parents, but not the rest of my family ....... and this Christmas I will be coming out to all either in person of thru a hand delivered Christmas card. Time will tell how long Christmas Eve lasts .... might need a back-up hotel reservation.

Wish me luck and safe driving!

good luck

Good luck and drive safe. Holiday traveling is brutal.

Bobbi

To everyone in this topic that have or will post the un-acceptance from there family I holdeach of you in my heart this holiday season.

There will be a day we are accepted for our medical dysphoria. 

I will be around here Christmas eve and will hold my hand out to anyone wishing to talk.

Hug

Izzy

Quote from: stephaniec on December 18, 2014, 08:19:59 PM
good luck

Quote from: zordeles on December 18, 2014, 08:30:25 PM
Good luck and drive safe. Holiday traveling is brutal.

Bobbi

Thanks to you both for the kind well wishes.

To Mrs. Izzy, thanks for being here for us, it means a lot knowing we have such a wide and caring family with everyone here.

I will be alone, and so I will invite some people (mostly elderly) who are also alone and make a nice dinner

Quote from: V M on December 18, 2014, 08:56:02 PM
I will be alone, and so I will invite some people (mostly elderly) who are also alone and make a nice dinner

Send me the bill. 

I'm not kidding.  It's all on me.

While I have to be at our Christmas gathering because I am cooking dinner, I can't appear as I would like. I would like to wear a nice dress. But since my sister is inviting a multitude of people I could care less about, I have to dress more conservative. At least for the time being, I have to "hide" who I really am.

If male, I am welcome.   If me, I am not.

I am undecided.


Jen

My family do not even know I transitioned, I'm too much a coward to tell them. But I wouldn't be welcome regardless, they disowned me for other reasons years ago. My housemate didn't want me with his family for thanksgiving for the first time since we met so I am uncertain whether he will invite me (as he always has in the past) to his family's for christmas. Both my friends are out of town, visiting their own families. I broke up with my boyfriend for being an ignorant ->-bleeped-<- a few weeks ago, so I won't be with him and his friends either.

I almost regret breaking up with my boyfriend when I did, I could maybe have put it off until after the holidays. Then I remember what he said and how much it hurt and how he reacted when I told him I was hurt and ... oh yes. I'm better off alone, definitely.

I don't even LIKE christmas. I'm not christian so it has never been religious, and the blatant commercialism of it makes me sick. But I still wish for that impossible dream of being surrounded by loving family and friends that's an inescapable part of the holidays. I'm scared for this year, given how unstable I've been lately. My friends know, and I got promised date nights from both of them after they get back. My therapist knows and I've been promised a quick response if I email her. There isn't anything else I can do. But I'm still scared.

well, Susan's is here. I think the Mods said something about a virtual party with all the trimmings .