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I don't know what to do anymore (BA)

Started by Apples Mk.II, December 17, 2014, 12:55:49 AM

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Apples Mk.II

I never expected covered surgeries to turn into a nightmare from me. My national healthcare has a separate department for Gender Identity that covers therapy, HRT, Breast Augmentation and SRS.

After being evaluated by the endocrinologist that deals with the trans patients, she declared that after two years it was not a satisfactory breast growth and she forwarded me to the surgeon, also including a referral for SRS.

During the consultation with the surgeon I decided to pass on SRS and save for it myself, but requested the BA. If I was going to pay the SRS out of my pocket, at least I could accept some breasts, since I could not afford them (I just emptied my transition savings account on FFS).

I was scheduled for a next consultation in October, and forgot about it. We have not talked abut how things would be, save for the fact he wanted to use anatomic implants (teardrop), under the muscle and an inframmamary incision. I could choose between normal and a bit bigger. I started to do my own research, and I clearly did not like those implants. I expected we would discuss and taylor the surgery for m on the October consultation

On September, before the second consultation I was called to go to the hospital for surgery  next week. I got scared and said I needed to talk with the surgeon first since I was not clear on the details. I ended putting it on a halt until I could talk with him in October. I still did not know which breast implant shape they were going to put, size, incision, or look at a simulation. A friend that went with a private surgeon had been trying different shapes until they decided on one she like, she had been clear on all the details: model, size, incision...

So October arrived, and I had a laundry list of questions, and the answers I got:
- I could opt for round implants, but he won't tell me which profile will he use. He mentioned all of them but the low. That he will try and see which one fits better when I am open in the operating room.
- No word on cc's of the implants. That he won't know until he is finished trying during the operation.
- even if I have requested an armpit incision, he says a that he may need to switch to a inframmamary incision, so I don't know where he will cut me. And I don't want to have those ugly scars under the breast.

So basically, I have no inputs in the surgery, even if I own my body. Except for "not teardrop", everything aesthetic such as shape or size is the surgeon's choice, not mine. I don't even have an approximation of how I will look when I wake up, and I am scared to find something I dislike so much I will start scream "get those things out of my body"

This breast augmentation is the "gift" type. Even if it comes from my taxes,  I have no input about it, as if it was a compensation car you get while you car is being repaired. At first I tried to see them as temporary breasts. Stick with them until you are finished with SRS, and then get the ones you like. But the way I see things now, I like to have control about my transition and body. I regulate and choose my HRT, and I had complete control about my face during FFS. This is the first time I am relinquishing control over my body, letting another person choose for me.

So I am considering cancelling the surgery. I hate my ugly badly shaped breasts and not being able to ever find bras that fit me because because few women have an A cup with a considerable underbust, but at the same time I may not like what will come out of that no control surgery. I have talked with cis women, and they say I should go for it. That they also did not get to choose how their breast grew, and to replace them in a future. Yeah, but this is supposedly the time when I am designing my body. My breasts are a seriously personal thing. I want them Big (a full C or a D) and he is more inclined to give me a big B. I clearly told him That I wanted to have cleavage and he was OK with that, but the rest... They are still going to be undersized, but that's it: You want full control, you pay for it. Other persons (trans) have told me that they are a good idea as transitory implants in order to go up to bigger sizes from my current A and avoid stretch marks...


I don't even know what to do. Right now my breasts are too separate,the shape is looking worse since the last development and going off HRT has messed the shape again. I don't even want to show them.

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Apples Mk.II

From the only girl I have seen operated by the new surgeon, the implants offered by the GID center only try to replicate "normal breasts", the thing you would have gotten as a cis women in the ordinary breast range. Not big, not small. Just "normal" boobs. Looks like if you really want Breast implants to have a gorgeous big rack (what most women do it for), you are going to pay for it.

So with this BA I'd just have a normal breast, a big B or a small C if I keep growing over the following years. But if I want to be busty... I'd need to put a "boobs jar" next to the "pussy jar"
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ImagineKate

Hi Julia, unfortunately exactly what you describe is the story of public healthcare. It's great for getting everyone covered but it leaves little choice. Unfortunately if you do want choice you may have to go private. Do you have a choice of surgeons though? Do you have to go to that one to get covered?
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Apples Mk.II

Quote from: ImagineKate on December 17, 2014, 07:12:10 AM
Hi Julia, unfortunately exactly what you describe is the story of public healthcare. It's great for getting everyone covered but it leaves little choice. Unfortunately if you do want choice you may have to go private. Do you have a choice of surgeons though? Do you have to go to that one to get covered?

Sadly, there's only one. In the years before fully assembling the service, They would pay part of your SRS to do it the the surgeon of your choice, but I don't know about breasts. The women that went with the previous retired surgeon also looked pretty mundane up there. And that's it. I have to choose between standard breasts and saving for SRS, or good breasts and wait even more for SRS. With my current level of genital dysphoria I can't afford delaying the bottom surgery, so the final choice is between keeping my underdeveloped breasts (not even progesterone has helped) or take the "normal" augmentation offer and stay with it until I can upgrade them
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missymay

Quote from: Julia (Apple-Whatever) on December 17, 2014, 04:50:38 AM
From the only girl I have seen operated by the new surgeon, the implants offered by the GID center only try to replicate "normal breasts", the thing you would have gotten as a cis women in the ordinary breast range. Not big, not small. Just "normal" boobs. Looks like if you really want Breast implants to have a gorgeous big rack (what most women do it for), you are going to pay for it.

So with this BA I'd just have a normal breast, a big B or a small C if I keep growing over the following years. But if I want to be busty... I'd need to put a "boobs jar" next to the "pussy jar"

I can't wait to cash in my "ass and hips jar", lol
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Shannon14

If it were me with this choice( sadly I will never have to make any decisions involving any such surgeries), I would take the offered BA. It would make me happier with my chest even if it's not exactly what I want in the end. I would be able to concentrate on just SRS, and start saving for an "upgraded" BA after that.
BA's often need to be redone after about ten years anyway, you could just do it a little sooner maybe.

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TamarasWay

I am confused.  Were you referred for SRS and BA?  And you chose to forgo the free SRS and chose BA instead?  Why forego SRS?
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Apples Mk.II

Quote from: TamarasWay on December 18, 2014, 11:19:21 PM
I am confused.  Were you referred for SRS and BA?  And you chose to forgo the free SRS and chose BA instead?  Why forego SRS?

I only wanted the BA, but since it was the same surgeon for both I had an SRS consultation. After being examined told the outcome in terms of depth and being told some fat lies about cis vaginal anatomy, I decided that if I could have it done in Thailand with a better method, it was not worth this, when it is something you only do one in a lifetime.
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TamarasWay

Quote from: Julia (Apple-Whatever) on December 18, 2014, 11:30:38 PM
I only wanted the BA, but since it was the same surgeon for both I had an SRS consultation. After being examined told the outcome in terms of depth and being told some fat lies about cis vaginal anatomy, I decided that if I could have it done in Thailand with a better method, it was not worth this, when it is something you only do one in a lifetime.

OK, so all you wanted was the BA and determined that you could get a better result in Thailand.  Could you tell us about the difference?  I am just asking because it sounds like you feel that the SRS provided by the NHS is inferior and I have heard that most are happy with their results but then maybe I heard wrong.

I really don't know.  I hear so many different stories.
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Apples Mk.II

Quote from: TamarasWay on December 18, 2014, 11:48:17 PM
OK, so all you wanted was the BA and determined that you could get a better result in Thailand.  Could you tell us about the difference?  I am just asking because it sounds like you feel that the SRS provided by the NHS is inferior and I have heard that most are happy with their results but then maybe I heard wrong.

I really don't know.  I hear so many different stories.


I asked for the consultation to see if I had some hope, but I ended confirming that I had not enough donor material for good results with inversion, and I am very specific with what I want. In my case, Non inversion with scrotal graft will yield better results. Also, the healthcare surgeon operates once a month, while Chettawut does it almost daily. So I feel safer with a more experienced surgeon who has a better technique. Also, here there a lot of girls that literally fear the public healthcare. Too many horrible results.
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