hi, i'm a 17 years old boy, and i seek some advice....

i live in England, and i'm currently 17, and i plan on going university after i finish collage.
it really saddens me that i was born as a male, and it always felt that i'm in the wrong place being a male.

unfortunately, my parents are very strict, and i tried asking (indirectly) about the matter, and the responses are negative, so my solution is kinda weird...? and this would be the first time i've ever opened to anyone...

however, i do not wish to displease my parents, for i really love them just as they love me, and i wish it to be forever, and being in bad terms with them would be far worse barable than my feeling is displacement as a male

personally, i would like to keep it a secret forever, as that it REALLY REALLY satisfies me when someone see some feminine traits in me, and i plan to go to uni, and maybe get some HTR for a few years (in secret) , and then live as a feminine male.  personally, i think that would give me a stable ground of my constant unrest.. 

but i'm still in puberty, and my voice is lowering, and i'm starting to grow some hair chest, and i have long thin hair growing above my lips (i've never shaves yet, cuz i'm scared that i would grow a beard)....

so... any advices on the path that i would take, or some counter puberty stuff?

thanks..
just wondering.... what effects does ma***rbation has on a body?

Masturbation has no effect on the body (no hairy palms, etc).

I suggest you edit your age, site rules don't allow that for certain people.

I would suggest seeing a gender therapist, often the first visit is free or low cost (in the US, I don't know about the UK). She or he would know how to get on blockers, if that is appropriate in your case.

That's about all I can suggest right now. I'm sure others will be along shortly who know more, especially about the English/UK system.