I need a perspective on this. Yes... Im sorry this is about my crush, but its not what you think. The past two months, me and my crush never had intellectual conversations of any sense besides talking crap or patronizing inuendos about how cute I am. "Look at those muscles... you can do it!" Little fist hits when I do something smart, or how young I am. He even told me to stop eating when I was getting chocolate, at one point, he look at me with a glow. Or just giggle at me... when he first met me he even said....,"Lets go potty", because I said Ill be right back.
But then it all changed.... I lost my infactuation with him, and I no longer was a giggly mess.... yes seriously this guy saw me acting like a giggly fool at one party to him. I couldnt look him in the eye and couldngt stop smiling..... ((MOst guys in my opinion would think thats weird... but he kept saying something I was excited, and he follows me everywhere)). Its like he shows signs of being into me.
But.... then I think he realized I am intelligent, and today we had deep conversations about philosophy. My desire for him went to a very mutual relationship.... but he text long winded messages. Its like.... I wish our friendship was like this 2 months ago... and not some highschool Taylor Swift crush. Its like now that I know him on a human level I dont worship his existence.
Now Im confused about if he ever was into me or not..... and I know he thought I was the cutest guy ever (we had a 1 ft height difference.... but it wasnt something he ever mentioned... but the effect wore off).. Its like he sees me as an equal (Freud... adult to adult). I had to tell him i was too old for openig xmas presents just yesterday though.
But... im scared
Im scared I created a love drama in my head that had no bearing to reality....
I felt like this love for him goes to the level of Bella Swan and Edward.
A month ago.... this is sick.... but I felt I was going to die because I loved him so much.... like Ariel at the end.