Why were we blessed with a mind, sense of touch, nerve ends, emotions, etc. if we don't use them? To me it is natural, enjoyable, relaxing (and exciting) and the ultimate sharing of one's self with another. I could not take living just to pay the rent, work, pay bills and all the rest that life throws at you. I want to live, love, share, experience, be a part of someone's life and watch the sun rise and fall. Sex is just the ultimate homeopathic drug. All natural and good for you! 

Kia Ora,

A number of insect species reproduce parthenogenetically... they don't seem to need it... For example aphids think contact sex is overrated...

Metta Zenda

Quote from: Anatta on January 08, 2014, 01:38:13 AM
Kia Ora,
For example aphids think contact sex is overrated...
Metta Zenda

I'm sure we could find them another topic then! *giggles* 

Quote from: Victoria Mitchell on January 05, 2014, 06:57:11 PM
I must be the only girl on the planet who had her sex drive increase (from high to insanely high) on HRT.

Victoria,
   I'm 59, but I feel like I'm 15! Because I'm in love with a great guy and special man, who makes me feel like I'm in a near constant state of emotional and physical arousal, lol! I've been with him for 15 months and I still feel like each kiss is the first (He's a fantastic kisser!). I love to have him hold my hand, hold me and kiss me, but there is nothing on earth like being made love to with the man you're in love with and I fantasize and daydream about the next time we're together probably far too often. Decades ago I was married twice, but although I cared deeply about both of the girls I was with, I've come to realize that this is the first time I've ever been in love. The girls were out of desperation to feel male, something I never felt.
   I think all of you ladies who have no desire for sex or a mate or either are missing out on one of the most amazing, wonderful things about being a woman, or even being human, for that matter. I love the feeling of being (and feeling) smaller, more delicate and vulnerable than him. He's a warm, loving man, and there are plenty of other guys (and even women) out there hoping to find someone special like you girls/women/ladies. I've come to believe that we, as transgendered women, are good, caring, decent women, who know more pain, suffering, empathy and the need for love than nearly anyone. We're also in a position other women can't begin to truly understand, because we've lived, or at least existed AS the other half, even if we never really were. I know lots of you think men are pigs, brutes and creeps, and they can be all that and worse, but God, I love them, him. For their simplicity and complications, their need to protect us and feel needed. And sexually, they have all the right parts to make me feel things no woman could ever make me feel. And you reluctant girls who think that 'sex is icky, messy, and just not that enjoyable,' please, for your own sakes, give it one more try! Hugs, Mira

Sigh! Oh yes, this! You rock Miranda. Did you read my mind? What number am I thinking about?*giggles* 

This topic (though I'm sure it has some purpose) irritates me.the reason for that (respectfully) is that all human beings are different with different attractions and some not.now as a new member or someone not really sure of ones respectful critism,I would automaticly assume that I am being put down or questioned about my life choices,most of all my want/need/lack of -sex and the reason there of.I respect your choice or your views on sex and as with everyone,they should be respected as well.as the saying goes 'just because I don't like it/understand it,doesn't make it a bad thing'

Sex can be a wonderful bonding ritual between two lovers.....but most have little idea of how to perform well.

Good sex....good lovemaking comes from a mutual desire for optimum sensation and fulfillment.....communication between bodies, understanding where your partner is more sensitive....that is key to doing it well.

does she prefer penetration orgasm, or is it only clit stimulation that gets her off?  Does she like her nipples played with?  Fingers in the rear, or no?  Vibrator on clit while being penetrated?

Is he more sensative on the head, or just below, or down closer to the base of the penis?  Again, nipple play?  Fingers in the backside?  Does he like his balls played with?  Does he enjoy toys/vibrators?

These are the kinds of things that often never get discussed and impede people from having a truly divine sexual experience....striving to understand your partner's needs as well as your own.

With so many selfish lovers in this world, I have little wonder that so many people aren't big on sex.

My only experience is doing it with the wrong body, so I may be jaded - but I never really cared that much for it. Once upon a time I had a very vivid imagination and I could think of all kinds of ways to enjoy it but that seems to have gone away these days. Sure, it felt good to "pop" every once in a while, but my partner was, well, selfish, and very conservative - she only wanted one thing which I was not that comfortable using, and she was really not interested in hearing about what *I* wanted - and that left me unhappy, unsatisfied, and disappointed with the whole experience. At the time I didn't know why, but now I get it.

So moving into the future I have no idea what may or may not happen, and right now I'm really not concerned about it. My libido must get off of ground zero first.

Quote from: Chaos on January 08, 2014, 05:50:44 AM
This topic (though I'm sure it has some purpose) irritates me.the reason for that (respectfully) is that all human beings are different with different attractions and some not.now as a new member or someone not really sure of ones respectful critism,I would automaticly assume that I am being put down or questioned about my life choices,most of all my want/need/lack of -sex and the reason there of.I respect your choice or your views on sex and as with everyone,they should be respected as well.as the saying goes 'just because I don't like it/understand it,doesn't make it a bad thing'

Oh I don't care two whits about whether you have sex, want sex, or want to live a life where you never orgasm once. It's not my place to comment on your personal choices *but* this topic is 'who needs it?' and there is a fairly large body of study which says that we all do for a healthy lifestyle so, the conversation continues. Whether you read any of the comments from sex positive individuals and take something from it or whether you just ignore the whole thing is up to you but, sex is as big a part of the lives of me and many other women here as religion (much much more in my case) and it's a personal belief (backed up by *science* and stuff) that a full life includes some kind of sexual expression as it's a core component of the human experience.

I don't judge you for not wanting to have sex. I don't judge anyone for anything. I will give my opinions on it if we're talking about it though and I think that's where a great many of the commenters on this thread are coming from.

The only views that aren't supposed to be bandied about on here are the ones which specifically judge you for doing your thing and I haven't seen any of those just yet though we've gotten a bit close.

Quote from: big kim on January 05, 2014, 03:16:36 PM
It's coming up to 10 years since I last had sex,don't miss it.I would like to have a partner for the companionship

You have no idea how much I avoided this thread.  But this is a day to rebuild or accept a few things that failed in life, so here's the simple answer. 

Haven't had a loving partner is 20 years, and now wouldn't know where to start.  Think about sex and cuddling once in a while, then cry.  So I just avoid the subject.

Sex is a rare thing for me these days. I live in an apartment with no privacy and I have a 14 month old. Hearing a peep out of him is an instant turn off, and it just makes the act of sex a disappointment every time. So while I did used to enjoy sex, i've been conditioned to the point where I don't even wanna deal with it anymore. Its now a disappointing passtime that could be spent doing other things. I'm also pre HRT, and I have come to resent the things my penis wants vs what i want. I wanna stay tucked, and happy, not awkward and ihaveapenis-ey.
I have always felt that sex complicates everything. The number of people out there who look down on the trans community is all the proof I need there.

Quote from: WFane on January 08, 2014, 09:02:24 AM
Sex is a rare thing for me these days. I live in an apartment with no privacy and I have a 14 month old. Hearing a peep out of him is an instant turn off, and it just makes the act of sex a disappointment every time. So while I did used to enjoy sex, i've been conditioned to the point where I don't even wanna deal with it anymore. Its now a disappointing passtime that could be spent doing other things. I'm also pre HRT, and I have come to resent the things my penis wants vs what i want. I wanna stay tucked, and happy, not awkward and ihaveapenis-ey.
I have always felt that sex complicates everything. The number of people out there who look down on the trans community is all the proof I need there.

^This^ is exactly how i feel.

Its not that i think sex is bad. Its that ive had experiences that have put a damper on the sexual situations that should give me good feelings . Instead i feel uncomfortable on the inside .

Quote from: Victoria Mitchell on January 08, 2014, 08:51:06 AM
Oh I don't care two whits about whether you have sex, want sex, or want to live a life where you never orgasm once. It's not my place to comment on your personal choices *but* this topic is 'who needs it?' and there is a fairly large body of study which says that we all do for a healthy lifestyle so, the conversation continues. Whether you read any of the comments from sex positive individuals and take something from it or whether you just ignore the whole thing is up to you

Oh I know and the same with me.looking from the perspective of someone new,I felt the OP could have worded it alittle different as to not seem all finger pointy but my opinion and view is only in the realm of thinking of others and was never ment to cause harm.I believe we can talk about what we want while respecting those who take part.but you ladies enjoy yourselves and I will take my leave 'bows'

Quote from: WFane on January 08, 2014, 09:02:24 AM
Sex is a rare thing for me these days. I live in an apartment with no privacy and I have a 14 month old. Hearing a peep out of him is an instant turn off, and it just makes the act of sex a disappointment every time.

So very true, have a 15 month old wandering the house and he's very fond of sleeping in our bed too!

Kia Ora,

Re: Sex, seriously, who really needs it? 



Metta Zenda

Sex who needs it,  obviously my prostrate gland does, and according to one of my doctors, was the reason I got a urinary tract infection, which was way painful.   I have a full sex life, such as it is, with myself.   Doctor's orders.   Relationships are different and change over time, and I don't see any point in building a relationship based upon sexual activity, because in my life the longer the relationship the less likely sex will be a part of it.    Besides, I do not want to life my life being a pleasure machine for others, and I don't expect anyone else to be a pleasure machine for me.   So in my life sex either happens or it doesn't.   I don't dislike sex or think that it is sinful, but sex is not going to be the center of my lifestyle.  My only sexual experiences have been with another woman.   Even when I prefer my male genitals to behave in a ladylike manner, I have no problems with causing pregnancies.   Six biological children is enough for me.   When I commit myself to a relationship especially when children are involved, that's it I am committed.   If the relationships ends its because the other person leaves me.   I am a Scorpion and a bitch wolf by nature.    I can be difficult to live with, but I don't cheat or telegram any desire for a sexual relationship with another person.   This is just me and how I am.   I am only relating this to let others know where "I" am coming from on an issue.   Each person's sex life is their own business morally speaking.   

I just feel that the only way I can deal with a sexual relationship is whatever happens, happens, and the other person is going to know all they need to know to have a pleasurable experience without any unnecessary surprises.   But as far as my personal life has gone, very little is ever going to happen.   I just have to have an open and honest sexual relationship with myself to keep my prostrate happy,  until the day that gender reassignment surgery takes it away.

<<<< stands in the corner with her hand held high

Me, me, me..... pick me.



Lol!

For me, sex is going to be a very important thing. My first time was with my at the time boyfriend when we were at school. Even though I was having a huge gender identity crisis, he saw past my body and it was a beautiful but stupid thing. He made me feel like a complete woman for one lunch break.
So when I have sex again I am going to have had reassignment. It will be the final thing I need to do before I feel that I am a complete woman. Sex for me is really a goal and not an interest.

Quote from: Miranda Catherine on January 05, 2014, 05:51:45 PM
Horsey,
   All I can say is you're either with the wrong person, you're doing it wrong, or both! I'm with the most considerate, thoughtful man both emotionally and sexually and just holding his hand after 15 months still excites me. When you give yourself totally to the man (or woman) you're in love with, a kiss in itself is amazing, but having him make love to you is, in my opinion, the best feeling there is, period. For me, it's impossible to describe the purity of that intimacy between you and the person you'd do almost anything for, but I hope you find someone like that for you, too. Sex is fun, but making love with someone you're in love with is........wonderful. Hugs, Mira

Agree.

Quote from: Emily King on January 07, 2014, 02:56:16 AM
That's how I felt.  I found out about Asexuality many years ago.
No one has ever given me that "special" feeling male or female.  I've always viewed myself as more of a lesbian, but as of recently I kinda think I wouldn't mind having sex with a male.  Of course after I get my bits correct. ;-)

Yeah, no.  I'm a hetro female, and boy do I want to have sex.  I long for it, and yet I can't have it!!!!

The lesbian thing was me trying to forget what happened when I was 20.