I've worked before but I've found a new job and this is the first time in my life everyone took me for a guy without a doubt and no one knows I'm trans. I'm generally open about it, and will say I am if anyone asks, but no one asked and it seems that it does not cross anyone's mind. This makes me happy because I'm only 7 months on T injections, 1 mil /month and I usually dont pass as a guy.

Anyway, what I've noticed is that how people's behaviour changed around me. Suddenly, every male workmate has this urge to constantly pat me and hit me on the shoulders/back (not too gently, either), and even though I'm the smallest of the staff (among males AND females), managers assign me tasks regardless of my weight and height (I'm barely 5" 50kg, they make me carry 25kg stuff or make me refill the shake machine that's like a head taller than I am).

Work equality seems to be bull->-bleeped-<- in this place (I work at a McDonald's branch in London just for reference), all females are put on drinks on drive-thru windows or front tills, 99% of guys have to do batch cooking and burger dressing and all the "dirty" work. Supposedly, it should be mixed, but it isnt. Females are prioritised in breaks, for example, Female 1 starts at 9am, Male 1 starts at 8am, Female 1 gets break sooner, even though Male 1 started 1 hour earlier. Some females who smoke even get free 5m cig breaks from time to time, while when I ask for a fast coffee, they make me clock out, which is considered a registered break.

Dont get me wrong, I was never treated like a princess when I lived as a female- but I do think that the so-called gender equality in a workplace means that a female can be assigned to cook the meat and carry stuff (considering person vs item weight of course) and a guy can be assigned to do drinks, and it should not depend on gender. Same with breaks, being female or male should not affect when you get your break...

Also, when I'm doing restocking duty, it's funny how all females expect me to refill ice, cups, get new bags of fries from the freezer, etc, but when I'm on the same position (which is very rare and I have to fight for it and managers then quickly assign me something else within 1-2 hours), no one gets anything for me because I'm a guy, I have to keep up with the orders while doing my own restocking. Females who work until closing just sit on the till, watching males do the closing cleaning, which is mostly just wiping surfaces, no lifting or heavy work and they tend to even make remarks about it.

Sorry for the rant.

Thoughts? Have you experienced anything similar? If you were in my position as an guy/FTM, how would you feel? How would you feel working there as a female/MTF? Would this make you angry?

Hi cali,
Please I don't want to be condescending but I've lived nearly 60 years as a male and plan to begin mtf transition soon. Since you're working at McD's you also sound youngerish, but life is unfair. Yes there is some male privilege, but for the most part being a guy sucks. When war breaks out, who gets drafted? Guys. As you've found out who generally gets the dirtier work? Guys. Yes there is also female privilege as you are discovering, especially the prettier you are. You've probably noticed the pretty girl privilege, yes plain girls get dumped on more than the pretty ones. In the male world too, the good looking alpha males get more breaks than the average looking guy.  Bottom line though is what are you going to do? There are many people who have overcome much adversity. It's your life to make it what you will. Male or female - both have their advantages and disadvantages. Sometimes I wish I could have been born a (select a name), pretty and rich, sorry but I don't think a lot of the famous women have got a lot upstairs but get a lot of advantages because of who they are.

You've got the rest of your life ahead of you. Grab it by the b@lls and go after your dreams. Life isn't always fair, but you can make it pay off on your terms if you go after what you want. You've started that path and I want to commend you. I wish I had been able to transition 40 years ago. I wish you all that you want out of life.

Hugs,

Thank you Traci, I also wish you all the best.

I am young, indeed, I only work there so I can cover my rent while studying at university. I do understand that both genders have advantages but it's stupid, people whine about equality, yet, they are the ones perserving inequality.
It's a shame.

If it's not too personal, how did you deal with all this 40 years ago? It must have been very hard.

I've always worked in an industry that's largely dominated by women. Prior to transition I would often be the only guy to work for a given employer, or, if there were other guys, there would only be one other guy. And, I've always wound up the lowest paid employee, with the crappiest position, and always passed over for promotion, despite having more experience and background that many of the women who were paid significantly better and got better positions. It was so obvious to everyone that when I came out to a former coworker that I'm friends with she said "Finally found a way to break through the glass ceiling I see." And, sadly, she was right. Since transitioning I'm paid more, I get more respect on the job, and I'm in line for a promotion.

So, although yes, male privilege is a thing. And I have really noticed its absence in many areas of my life. It's influence doesn't extend everywhere.

Drunk and stoned much of the time to ease the pain of not being able to make the transition. Greatly admired Christine Jorgenson and Canary Conn but too afraid to come out and very little information available anyway. Back in the 60's it was still considered an abberation. I am so happy for the younger transpeople today that have so much more available and can live their lives authentically so much easier.

Hugs,

Amen to that, Traci!

Thank you for your reply, Traci. I'm glad you're glad for young people having good chances nowadays, I've met some transpeople over 30 who were rather jealous and sort of tried to hinder other people's progress. Do you think coming out at an older age is harder than at a younger one? How do people of your age group react to it when they find out?

Missadventure, what industry do you work in?

Quote from: caliyr on January 06, 2015, 09:15:28 PM
Missadventure, what industry do you work in?

Animal Welfare... Which, thankfully, tends to be filled with compassionate people who are respectful of diversity. None of my former coworkers or my current coworkers blinked about my transition, and many have gone out of their way to be supportive.

Ouch, sorry to hear of those work conditions. Not sure of the work place rules in the UK but here in the USA the break rules would not happen. The one I manage breaks are given out in the order the crew comes in. Sometimes someone that comes in later might go on break first if the second person is scheduled off first. As for the assigning of tasks yea males are generally more likely to do the more physical tasks. But the females do have to the light restocking to even the restocking out.  But then again the McD's that I work at is generally better run than other McD's. Our turnover ratio is usually lower than most.

cali,

Let's not say jealous, but I am envious, but having suffered with GD for so many years, I wouldn't wish that suffering on anyone if it can be avoided. The only sorrow I have for them is that they may not have children of their own. But that too is a mixed blessing. I love my son dearly but unfortunately we raised him in a fundamentalist Christian church so his thoughts align more with the Alcorns as do my wife's. Although I haven't begun transition in earnest yet, I have come out to several people and overall the response has been positive, just not in the immediate family. The problem is that they have known you too long as your birth gendered ego and the front you put on and that causes them cognative dissonance, anger, rejection etc. In my case while the GD gets worse, I put off transition out of fear of losing my wife and son, but this yea,r the fear of not transitioning is overcoming any fear of loss. Another drawback of older transition is the problem of having had testosterone ravage our bodies and facial features, necessitating the need for FFS which can be avoided if transition is begun earlier. We'll see what work brings because I have discussed transitioning with HR alreadyand they are cool with it,  also our state is fairly protective of LGBT discrimination, unfortunately, the hospital I work for excludes transgender health services in their insurance plan, but again, thankfully many more companies are becoming more trans friendly. A couple women in my office know and they are very supportive and treat me more like one of the girls, even though I'm still presenting as male.

Again cali, wishing you the best on your journey!

Hugs,

Quote from: Marcia on January 07, 2015, 01:24:51 AM
Not sure of the work place rules in the UK but here in the USA the break rules would not happen.

This is kinda illegal here, actually. McD's is supposedly super work-equivalency-supportive and all that, and I think the managers dont even realise they are doing this.

Quote from: Marcia on January 07, 2015, 01:24:51 AM
As for the assigning of tasks yea males are generally more likely to do the more physical tasks. But the females do have to the light restocking to even the restocking out.

I understand if they give a male person a more physically challenging task, given he is more well-built for it. I'm shorter and probably lighter than most females in the crew and I get to lift stuff that's almost half my weight and I have to refill machines that are much higher than I am, lifting 12kg bags of milk. Logically, I am not supposed to be even considered for these duties, regardless of gender, since I am physically not well-built/tall enough for these tasks!

Tough life. Honestly, I don't think you should complain too much about it. Sure, you realize it now but when you were still presenting as a woman, it also happened. But you didn't notice it or probably did not do much with it. Men do the hard work, get send out to the army when needed regardless of height, weight, build, anything. It is a stereotype you don't get out of the system just because you now suddenly don't like it.

Not to be respect-less but realistic. If you always lived as a man, you would have learned to deal with it and knew no other way. You would either increased strength from lifting more often on a younger age or figure out your ways. Each gender has ups and downs and no matter of appearance, have to learn to just deal with it. You will get stronger so no worries, it will be less of a problem in time .

Quote from: caliyr on January 07, 2015, 08:56:36 AM
This is kinda illegal here, actually. McD's is supposedly super work-equivalency-supportive and all that, and I think the managers dont even realise they are doing this.

As a manager I feel bad that this is happening and giving McD's a bad rep. for workplace compliance. As for getting asked to to do the heavy tasks think of it as good thing. They are asking you do to them because they see you as male. So yea they see you as male so you will have to get used to life as male.

P.s I guess this is one reason why I like the store I work at we treat each other as equals. I also realize that my store is a bit odd. My store manager is gay. While I am one of the first assistant managers the other one is cis female that is hard to place. Her clothing choices  tend to fall more on the male side. I know that she doesn't date anyone. I suspect that she is a lesbian but her religious background won't let her date another female. We have  a gay and a lesbian support managers at my store. In our other store there are 2 gay managers there as well.  So I know my work place is kind of unique. The other funny part is our owner is Catholic.