I've been stared at, been the subject of pointedly loud conversation, and been called a ->-bleeped-<-got. I worry about my safety sometimes. I don't dress flamboyantly and I'm very quiet, but I still draw attention to myself. I sometimes think that if I tried harder to be masculine, I'd draw less attention, but I don't want to tape my breasts down or act like a macho lunkhead. People don't read me as a butch, or even a lesbian, or as a femme boy. They see a straight teenage boy, but when they notice that I'm not, they get upset with me.

After looking over the list and votes, these results I am most concerned about.

Have you experienced unwanted physical touching or body contact because of being androgyne.  9 (11.7%)
Have you ever faced work place discrimination. Unfair, unequal, wrongful termination, uneasiness, being held back from promotions. From your gender identity, expression, communication, behavior, thinking, or beliefs.  7 (9.1%)
Have you ever experienced physical violence because of being androgyne.  4 (5.2%)
Have you been asked to leave somewhere only because you are androgyne.  3 (3.9%)
Have you been raped because of being androgyne.  2 (2.6%)
Have you been denied any public service because of being androgyne.  1 (1.3%)
Have you had problems with health service, health insurance, care, or medicines only because you are androgyne  1 (1.3%)
Are you homeless only because you are androgyne.  1 (1.3%)
Have you experienced difficulty in the military because you are androgyne.  1 (1.3%)

Quote from: Ken/Kendra on October 26, 2007, 06:50:48 AM
Have you experienced difficulty in the military because you are androgyne.  1 (1.3%)

Since that's me I'd better downplay it a bit.

That was essentially getting verbal harrassment from my superiors for not being man enough. At its worst it affected my grades during reserve officer training, but in terms of military career (or more accurately, lack of it) the overall effect was not really worth mentioning. All in all, in hindsight it was a positive thing, as it pushed me over the edge and prompted me to give up trying to be a man.

A few years later it was fun to read through the evaluations in my personnel file, though. Some of the entries written by those career officers who wanted masculinity (and were not satisfied by mere competence) were downright hilarious. Still, that was twenty-odd years ago, and I'd assume there has been some progress.

The others you mention are much more worthy of concern. Appalling and scary.

  Nfr

   I had issues in the military, but it wasn't with the military people, it was with myself.  I had a nervous breakdown because the military culture and style was brutal upon my soul.
   I had no real problem with people there, so I didn't claim it in the poll.  I just thought it was worth mentioning in terms of how a culture foreign to a person's soul can be painful.

   I should have been born a tree or a fish or a carrot.

Quote from: Ken/Kendra on October 26, 2007, 06:50:48 AM
After looking over the list and votes, these results I am most concerned about.

Have you experienced unwanted physical touching or body contact because of being androgyne.  9 (11.7%)
Have you ever faced work place discrimination. Unfair, unequal, wrongful termination, uneasiness, being held back from promotions. From your gender identity, expression, communication, behavior, thinking, or beliefs.  7 (9.1%)
Have you ever experienced physical violence because of being androgyne.  4 (5.2%)
Have you been asked to leave somewhere only because you are androgyne.  3 (3.9%)
Have you been raped because of being androgyne.  2 (2.6%)
Have you been denied any public service because of being androgyne.  1 (1.3%)
Have you had problems with health service, health insurance, care, or medicines only because you are androgyne  1 (1.3%)
Are you homeless only because you are androgyne.  1 (1.3%)
Have you experienced difficulty in the military because you are androgyne.  1 (1.3%)

You're right Ken/Kendra
I allready had give answer in the poll, but without explanation. Let's try...........

Have you ever experienced physical violence because of being androgyne.;
In 2 relationships long time ago( don't worry I've learn a lot in the past years .) before I knew the word androgyne. I am very open minded. ; when you have to deal with me, you know. I do really look femine, for some people attractive, so some people talk me to the mouth...(hope my grammar is right). At the first sight, you won't match me with feeling androgyne.But when you get a know me more, I'm masculine in behaviour. The guy in fact was thinking of beating / smashing it out of me. By the way it was also with words; and one thing I never forget. "Go to your gay friends and the hell with you."

Have you experienced unwanted physical touching or body contact because of being androgyne.Yes in the same situations like I did describe.

Do you ever feel like others are talking about you behind your back.Yes, but don't people does this all the time, if it's not about your gender, they wiill find something else.
So I don't care for this last one. ( maybe 11 years ago, but now it don't bothher me at all)

Finally saw one that I agreed with;

Have you experienced gender stereotyping limiting your abilities as an person?

I say yes, people expect me to not be able to listen, or to have more of an agenda then I do.

Quote from: Pica Pica on October 26, 2007, 11:15:49 AM
Finally saw one that I agreed with;

Have you experienced gender stereotyping limiting your abilities as an person?

I say yes, people expect me to not be able to listen, or to have more of an agenda then I do.

YES; what you just wrote; that's most of the time my point.( Sorry that my english is not so good to express myself,lucky for me; my translate/ reading skills are much better)
But the question you made ; that's in fact my problem, most of the time......
You've just made my day; what a relief
That's how I feel; and why I came to this forum,to find some recognize
Now you must think I am crazy; but I feel for the first time yes...understanding so THANX

Welcome,

Though I got the question off the poll.

But yeah, there are a hell of a lot of assumptions from all directions aren't there? People see the maley type bits expect you to be all closed and closeted. The ones that see femaley bits think you are gay or have a problem or something. When I just want to say, no expectations, no problem guv, I'm just living the way that feels natural like.

Quote from: Pica Pica on October 26, 2007, 11:46:39 AM
Welcome,

Though I got the question off the poll.

But yeah, there are a hell of a lot of assumptions from all directions aren't there? People see the maley type bits expect you to be all closed and closeted. The ones that see femaley bits think you are gay or have a problem or something. When I just want to say, no expectations, no problem guv, I'm just living the way that feels natural like.

That's the best thing you could do for yourself, after all, you have to live your life with yourself.
If others have a problem with that it's them probmlem. And never make it yours, cause that cost you to much, I've found out by experience
So now I am looking better with who is standing before me, before I get involved.
But I have to admit that sometimes a feeling of loneliness is inside of me, not always, but sometimes

It's possible that everyone stands in front of each other with that loneliness...

Quote from: Pica Pica on October 26, 2007, 12:01:20 PM
It's possible that everyone stands in front of each other with that loneliness...

You're right about that, but I think that everybody have go through his/hers own loneliness.
And that's good. it's better go through things than run from it

You think loneliness can be beaten?

Quote from: Pica Pica on October 26, 2007, 12:09:20 PM
You think loneliness can be beaten?

Not really beaten, but it's good to stand in it. If you stand in it, and let it go through your body/ soul. The pain of it will not hurt so much any more. It makes you stronger. And it's normal that the feelings sometimes come back. But it's sometimes not easy to stand in it, cause it can give other feelings like empiness or others.
But if you are able to face it, means that you accept that your feeling are like you feel.
Accepting, makes it less painfull; and give you strenght to deal with yourself

Sounds almost Nietzsche-ian

Quote from: Pica Pica on October 26, 2007, 12:21:25 PM
Sounds almost Nietzsche-ian

I know the name, of the best men, but not his work; hmmm maybe I should now it?

No. But he has a lot of stuff to say about application of strength and the power that will can make and things. I personally just think he's a poor poet with a funny moustache. The complement in my above comment was the 'almost'.

Quote from: Pica Pica on October 26, 2007, 12:29:29 PM
No. But he has a lot of stuff to say about application of strength and the power that will can make and things. I personally just think he's a poor poet with a funny moustache. The complement in my above comment was the 'almost'.

, I think I understand it; guess he's going more further in that believe/ point of view  than me. I am not such a die-hard

I do realize, in one moment, we are gonna OffTopic sorry moderator!

Quote from: storm on October 26, 2007, 12:33:30 PM

Quote from: Pica Pica on October 26, 2007, 12:29:29 PM
No. But he has a lot of stuff to say about application of strength and the power that will can make and things. I personally just think he's a poor poet with a funny moustache. The complement in my above comment was the 'almost'.

, I think I understand it; guess he's going more further in that believe/ point of view  than me. I am not such a die-hard

I do realize, in one moment, we are gonna OffTopic sorry moderator!

Don't sweat it, kid.  Nothing awful about being off-topic unless you entirely hijack a thread.

THANX Rebis