I just got my surgery done and I just got married to my husband 3 months ago but I'm living stealth with other people except the friends and family I grew up with.
All of my husbands friends and family do not know anything about my past and does not know what I am and I've known them for 2 years and still haven't asked and know anything about my past. I always ask my husband if any of his family or friends know about me and told me that none of them knows. Maybe it's my voice or my appearance that is not noticeable to them that I used to be male but I haven't got any voice surgery done and the only surgery I have had is my srs + BA. I am 5'6" 135lbs. and so far no one knows about me except the people I grew up with.
My friend who is a manager at a restaurant has employees who knows about her and one day she went to the bank and she told me that an older transgender told her that she should let everyone know what she is. She told me that she told the older trans that she doesn't want to tell everyone and why should she? The older transgender told her that it's right to tell everyone and that everyone had the right to know and that she will feel better. My friend refused and told the older transgender that she loves her life the way it is.
I mean first of all, why do other transgenders get into other girls business? If you told everyone what you were then that's your prerogative and if society frowns upon you and throws things at you or dislikes you because you told everyone then that was your choice even if you thought it was a great idea to tell everyone but that does not mean you have to tell every other transgender to do the same because you think it's right because once you tell them that, and they tell someone what they are and they get killed or murdered, then the person who told her to tell people will be the one responsible for her death.
Let those transgenders live in stealth if they want because they are doing things the way they want to live and if they have been living that way for years and didn't get in any type of trouble or danger, then they must be doing something right to live that way. Yes, you'd be living a lie but life was that way before we even transitioned from male to female and society already sees that you're living a lie by just simply being a woman so who's right or wrong? Either way, live your life the way you want and learn by your mistakes but don't go around messing life up for someone else just because your life is in ruin.
I've lived in stealth for almost all my life and with all the boyfriends I've had, they all didn't know what I was. We even tried to have sex and a few of them tried to rub down there before i had surgery and they didn't know. I guess it's the benefit of being small form the 16 years I took hormones. And all of the friends of my boyfriends didn't know as well and they all chatted with me normally like how they would with a girl. I didn't fraternize too much with other transgenders and always been very careful not too act too "loud" or "flamboyant" and didn't try too hard to be a female and since my voice already sounds like a females voice even at normal pitch, I guess that helped a lot as well. I didn't use too much make-up and just used a eyeliner and pressed powder and went out and so far, in all the 15 years I lived as a female, I haven't had my "tee clocked"
But this is my life, my appearance, and my way of living. It might be different for other girls and might not be easy for most but if you can test yourself and go out in public and use your ears to listen and eyes to see, and if you don't see anyone looking at you or whispering and looking at you or looking at you giggling, then you know that you look very "fish". Meaning, you look very feminine
