I know this is a dumb thing to say, but I don't feel like I'm "trans enough". I think I want to transition, because I like how I look when I look really masculine, but there's not always dysphoria. I always present as male because thats how I'm comfortable. When I know I look male, when I wear blazers and dress nice, I feel awesome. Do I just feel less dysphoria because I look how I want to look? It makes sense that it would go away in that case, right?

Im just really confused because a month ago, I felt male a good 90 - 95% of the time, but now I feel like I'm not feeling as male anymore. And that worries me because I see myself as male right now and in the future, but I don't feel male all the time. It makes me feel guilty and stupid because what if i'm loading all of this on myself and worrying so much (i have horrible anxiety) when its just a phase, or some delusion.

I guess I feel male most of the time, but having a higher voice and curves and breasts and stuff remind me that I have a "female" body and then it kind of instantly remind me im not a boy and i start feeling female, but it doesn't feel right. It also doesnt feel right being male all the time. But genderqueer or agender or bigender doesnt really feel right with me either. I dont think I'm genderfluid because I dont really switch genders.

I just feel confused. I feel like I accidentally convinced myself I'm trans when I'm really not, even though theres things from my past that would prove otherwise. I dont know anymore.

Also, is it possible to feel less dysphoria or feel a little more like a girl when im on my period? Cause a few weeks ago I don't recall being this confused about everything. I could have been, but I'm not entirely sure. Unless I really did lie to myself about being trans without even realizing. Which I hope is not the case because that seems so wrong and ->-bleeped-<-ty and just insane.

I know I went all over the place with this, I'm really sorry.
I just really need some help here. Please.

I'll admit I'm in the exact same place as you. Literally WHAT is going on???

Hi Skylar,

You are very normal for your condition. Hormones will fluctuate throughout the month which will have an affect on your brain chemistry. Constantly changing your emotions and feelings.

Don't get too hung up on labels, they can throw you off your path. I would assume you are either transgendered or intersexed. Either way you may need to speak to a medical professional.

Huggs
Catherine

First off I wouldn't get too hung up on labels.

Secondly, a lot of what you're saying makes sense to me. I'm still in the closet, pre-T and pre-everything and I find myself looking down this long hard road of transitioning and wondering what the heck I'm doing. And I do get the whole weirdness of my brain fighting with itself when I feel like I'm a male, but then look down and see that I'm not physically. And I wonder if I'm just going crazy or something. Although in one area I'm the reverse of you I tend to feel more dysphoric and stuff when it's that dreaded time of the month.

Still I'd say talk it out, whether that be with a therapist, trusted friend, or a family member. I feel like for myself I just go round in circles and get myself all worked up and anxious, it's better to have a sounding board to help work things out.

Skylar, understand that every transgender person experiences their gender differently. My gender therapist steers discussion away from whether I "feel" like a female (I don't most of the time, though it's getting better), to how I want to live my life (like a girl, please).

I wish the media would stop harping on the "man/woman trapped in a woman's/man's" body and the "always knew he/she was a male/female" meme, because an awful lot of us have never felt this way.

If you think you would be happier being a male, be a male.

Does this help?

No such thing as trans enough if you're trans. Don't get stressed about labels. You are you, regardless of anything else. If you're pretty happy presenting as male or being male, then that's what works for you, and that's great! At the end of the day, we're all just trying to be happy with ourselves and our lives. Whatever path that takes you down, if it's working for you, it's good

trans enough, not trans enough, how trans am I? 
Put that stuff aside. Being trans should not be the focus of your life.  Being you should be the focus of your life.

What suzzifrommd said - how do you want to live your life? Who are you? Where are you comfortable being?  A man, a woman, somewhere inbetween? Take one day at a time with it and explore it. Don't rush, don't make your yourself try to fit into something that is not right for you. Don't worry if you are trans enough or not.

I once heard someone say that their therapist told them that almost half of the transmen they worked with didn't feel 100% male. It's probably really common. The question is whether or not they want to transition; if they do, it doesn't matter if they're genderqueer or not. And this can change over time; maybe they wind up feeling 100% male or maybe they stay comfortable as genderqueer. But anyways if you want to transition, it doesn't matter if you feel 100% male as long as you feel the decision is right for you.