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Did you choose the right name?

Started by kast, January 08, 2015, 07:29:27 AM

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Rebekka

i agree, most people do not get to choose their names, same as their biological sex and race, but they keep it anyway because they know no better. We trans people have a (culturally ?) unique opportunity (?) to change our names to more accurately fit ~Us~ as people, rather than being issued (in the military sense) our names, and having to grow into our names, or just put up with being SOL if middle names or nicknames didn't work.

my advice to anyone looking for a name, would be to go by what was decently popular for your birth year, (give or take a year or two), and choose overlapping names that those lists have in common.

for example

http://www.babycenter.com/popularBabyNames.htm?year=1984
http://www.babycenter.com/popularBabyNames.htm?year=1985
http://www.babycenter.com/popularBabyNames.htm?year=1986

of these 3 lists, 'Rebecca' as a name hovers around the lower part of the 'top 20', in terms of popularity; fairly popular, but not top 10 or top 5, and thus, not inclined to stand out via trendiness, nor is it the bottom ten of the top 100 (or ranking less than that, even), and won't stand out again because of obscurity/ comparative uniqueness, the way 'sheena' or 'margaret' might, for those years. (or perhaps worse, truly archaic legacy names like 'ethyl' or 'jebediah')

*pauses to cringe at the scary datedness of those last two names*

anyway, i varied the spelling of my name from Rebecca to 'Rebekka', because the look of it seems to balance out. Where 'Rebecca' is composed almost entirely of curves and such, 'Rebekka' has abit of pointed-ness to it, and abit more visual force to it...... Also, i get to be nicknamed 'Bekkie' :D  :-*

*dances around some  :P *

And Kevin.... You look like a 'Kevin' to me, although you could nickname yourself to 'kev'  8) (<--- kinda badass?) , and then add backronyms to it, like .... kindness equals victory ?
Started HRT on March 16th, 2016  ;D
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michelle_kelly

Quote from: kast on January 08, 2015, 07:29:27 AM
I feel like I've grown out of the name I chose for myself, and that perhaps it wasn't the right choice. Can anyone relate? ???

Cannot relate directly doing a name change, but I know picking a name can be a very hard thing to do.

Quote from: kast on January 08, 2015, 07:29:27 AM
I wouldn't even know how to announce something like this, because my social circle is a mix of people who know and don't know I'm trans.

Not knowing your precise situation, I would not worry about people not knowing your trans.  Just tell people that you changed your name and this is the name you want to go by now.  If people ask, just tell them you didn't like Kevin anymore and now want to be known by this name.  End of story. 

Quote from: kast on January 08, 2015, 07:29:27 AM
At what point is it worth saying yeah it's a hassle but it'll make me happier? Advice on any of this?

Now your asking a really tough question because it varies from person to person.  I would say, in a generic way, that the moment that your thinking about it all the time would be the time it would be worth the hassle.  Its your mind's way of telling you that it really wants something done about it.

Quote from: kast on January 08, 2015, 07:29:27 AM
Bonus question for fun - what name do I look like?

You look like a George to me.  Don't ask me why.  That is the first name that came into head when I saw your picture.
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Damara

I sort of get what you're saying, but I feel like my issue is still the newness. I love the name Damara, but it's still weird to hear at times.. I also have this thing where I feel like people are using my name in an obligatory pitying way (which I may make a post about later) that isn't a genuine "This is her name so I'm calling her this name." In my head it's like I'm imagining people that know are thinking, 'He' just wants me to call 'him' this and I will because I'm nice and a friend." Obviously this is some issue I need to work through. lol!

And I also think you look like a Mark. :)
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cindy16

Quote from: DrummerGirl on January 15, 2015, 05:33:03 PM
The name I chose is the name I used for my characters in MMOs for years.  I'm already conditioned to respond to it from being called it on voice comms and it fits me perfectly.  I get a ton of comments on how pretty and unique it is, but its rareness can be a disadvantage.  I am loathe to use it on here and other online communities, for example, because I would be really easy to find.

I too am already conditioned to a unisex version of my name being used as my nickname by people around me. And I can't use either of them here for the same reason, that it would make me really easy to find. So if/when I do get to really change my name, I have this as an option if I do not want to find a completely new name.

To the OP, I think Kevin suits you fine.
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Freyja

i havent legally chosen it yet but i like what im going by. its not uncommon from where i live, alltho the spelling is.

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ErinReign

I have used the same name to refer to myself since pre teenage years. It still works for me and makes sense with my generation and heritage. As for my birth name I've never liked it, and hated the nickname version of it, luckily most of the time people either used my last name or a random nickname.
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