Quote from: DragonBeer on January 15, 2015, 04:40:37 PM
Stay out of Brooklyn though if you consider NYC.

Parts of Brooklyn maybe, but areas like Park Slope are very trans friendly.

I'm just going to advocate Portland, OR and/or anywhere in the Portland-Metro area as an amazing place for trans-friendly resources. We even have a whole center/building dedicated to the LGBTQIAA community, called the Q Center, and I've been met with nothing but acceptance and "That's awesome!"s to people I've just told of my ->-bleeped-<- on a whim. Portland is an amazing place and as a majority, nothing short of tolerant, if not wholly accepting.

I  stayed  where  i  was.  ive  linked  my  website  to  my  profile,  so  its  all  there  for  the  reading.  news paper  stories,  what  a  way  to  get  "outed",  but  thats how  it  went  for  me. 
  The  shocker  was,  the  people  of  my  little  city,  in  the  ultra  conservative  Shenandoah  Valley,  took  it  well,  accepted  me,  and  now  many  yars  later,  Im  still  here,  happy,  accepted  and  respected. 
  Im  all  for  the  stand  your  ground  approach.  you  shouldn't  have  to  leave  every  part  of  your  life,  job,  home  and  friends  behind. 

Austin's got a live  and let live vibe for sure and leadership has been moving forward on trans rights for a while now. I actually love the Texas brand of optimism (start a business, heck yeah! Etc...) and when you make it austin liberal you've got a nice mix. Our fair city keeps getting younger and hipper.

There isn't a trans neighborhood or scene though. Limited bars dedicated for us and only recently a trans and gender queer group has popped up but it's growing and surprisingly strong.

Most here seem to have their group and they come out and are relatively accepted and supported and they stay put in the life they have - resulting in limited needs for refugee type enclaves.  It's nice but makes it harder for transplants unless they connect through the trans community which is just now gaining traction from my vantage point.

I live in the DC metro area, and I actually like it. I don't like VA all that much, because despite the cultural attitudes in NoVA being pretty good, insurance companies can still disallow coverage for trans related things in their policies where as Maryland and DC have better protections. That being said, when my GF was visiting (she lives in FL ) really only one person ever gave us an odd look for holding hands and kissing, and that was at DCA, and they were talking with a serious southern accent so it was safe to assume they weren't really from around here.

That isn't to say that there isn't discrimination here, I am sure there is, but I haven't really had any particularly bad experiences. I do pass, so this might be part of it, but I have had to tell people like my Insurance agent (because I hadn't legally changed my name yet) and whatnot and they didn't really care, and use my proper pronouns.

Seattle is excellent if you are on the westside.  The eastside (references to west or east side of Lake Washington) is not quite as good but it's not bad by any means, just not as good.  The best spot in Seattle to be, well pretty much whatever you want to be, is Capitol Hill.  They have an extensive gay and lesbian community in addition to a lot of trans support. 
Since I happen to be typing right before the NFC Championship I feel required to say, Go Seahawks!

Having lived near DC and now near Seattle I would say that hands down that Seattle is better, at least for me.  People tend to be nicer in addition to a number of other things that work for me.

My biggest concern about the whole "stay and fight" mentality is, honestly, a sense of spite.  This lie I'm living now... I want that man to die.  I want all that pain and sorrow and confusion and all that other baggage to be dead and buried with that lie, and, for the most part, the people who made that lie the most necessary to die along with it.  Not literally, obviously, but I'd rather let a lot of the people who've ever known me assume I died then ever let them know about Daria Quinn.  People like the one ex I was talking abut in the original post, people I went to school with who made that lie such a necessity, it became like a suit of armor.  People like my dad, the person my lie was named for, and all of his scarring and issues that go back to being abused by his stepfather, who's last name my lie carries and I honestly wish would die with me.  It won't.  I have a step-brother who'll carry that cursed name into another generation.

I know as this road goes on, a lot of this is going to change.  5 years is a long time to stick something out, but I know how teenagers are.  I've had that sting of being the "freak" of the class, and my son already has that stigma on him without anyone knowing about his dad's issues.  It's not fair to him to make that worse if I can help it.  Maybe further down this road, I can trust more people in my life with this.  But I don't think I can, and those I could, I don't think they'd ever have my back enough to stay here.  Besides, I lived a lie for 33 years already.  What's another 5 or so?

I hate feeling like this.  But I guess that's why I'm asking about this in the first place.  Just something to help me maintain some hope that maybe, someday, I'll be free, that there's an entire world to be in, and that I'm not completely alone.

Thank you all for the responses.

Wow Daria that is profoundly affecting.  We all come from different places and your history bites harsh.  It is easier for some of us and that reflects no judgement on your personal choice of where best to live.  It is easier for me, with no parents, bosses, or co workers to mess with and my kids on their own.

Even being a liberal long haired queer was enough for my kids to be discriminated against in school.   I get it, you are needing to consider more than the climate for your family life. 

Thank you for sharing those personal challenges with us.  That is a lot to overcome and more baggage than anyone might want to carry.  I look forward to toasting a celebration to your future freedoms.

New Hope Bucks County Pennsylvania is very friendly but very expensive (I would love to live there). The gayborhood in Philadelphia Pennsylvania is very accepting.

Philadelphia has some  protections for trans. Some parts of Philly are bad for trans but others are very good. I work next to the University of Pennsylvania and university City is very accepting.

My daughter graduates high school in June and turns 18 in July. I understand your desire to protect your son.

If I had to move from Philly I would want to go to LA.

Quote from: IAmDariaQuinn on January 18, 2015, 02:09:00 PM
. . . I hate feeling like this.  But I guess that's why I'm asking about this in the first place.  Just something to help me maintain some hope that maybe, someday, I'll be free, that there's an entire world to be in, and that I'm not completely alone. . .

I understand the importance of making plans, or at the very least having dreams, when you're in a position where you can't make a change. 

You're not alone, and there is a whole wide world out there.  In the US, I'd hazard most densely populated areas are fairly socially accepting, as a rule.  Even urban areas in very conservative parts of the country are pretty decent.  And rural or suburban areas in the Northeast are quite welcoming compared to what you describe.  I've been in a same-sex relationship for years, and when I decided on a place to settle after school, the social and legal climate was a huge part of my decision-making.  You can do the same thing when the time comes. 

Having a teenager in an area like that must be hard.  But, remember, very few decent people have a good time in high school.  It's usually a drawn-out form of torture. Bullying, social exclusion, and open hostility are never good, but it's a common experience for teens from many backgrounds, and most manage to overcome it in adulthood.  As awful as it is at the time, IMO it's a better sign that your son is getting picked on for being a freak than it would be if he were fitting in.  Being hated by those sorts of people speaks well to his character.

There are good reasons to lie, and kids are one of them.  Especially if your long-term goal is to live honestly as yourself.

new orleans is a pretty accepting place and underrated in the lgbt community i think. although, as someone who's lived here for ~20 years, the state of louisiana itself is pretty terrible. but as long as you can stay mostly in the city you're fine.
i feel like somewhere like seattle or portland would be ideal, though. neither are very expensive and both at least have a lot more legal protections for trans people than a lot of places do.

Quote from: Alana_Jane on January 15, 2015, 09:50:21 PMIf you don't mind Ohio, there's always Columbus....

Born and raised... ran away a few times, came back. Never had any problems and I even live in a 'rougher' neighborhood.