Quote from: bbepgy on January 24, 2015, 09:45:59 AM
Transition is a pain.  I would rather devote my time to things I enjoy rather than dealing with the problems and fallout associated with transition.

Maybe the drama queen type gets pleasure out of running around telling everyone that she is trans, but I suspect that fir most of us it is not something to be desired

There are simply too many things to do, too much fun to be had without getting stuck in the trans ghetto

I think there are factors that play heavily into this, such as the culture at one's geographic location as well as the level of inner circle support.

I grew up in Ohio, and I know it was one of the bigger reasons that subconsciously told me to bottle up / hide my gender variant tendencies. The city of Los Angeles cracked my shell for sure. I feel so blessed to have ignored my family's desire to stay in Ohio and instead took the leap of faith I did to move out here. It still took me 3 years of living in this city and being friends with incredibly open minded people for me to let my guard down enough and give up the shame I had built up over my lifetime so far. I think those layers of shame were in place largely due to living in a rather transphobic area of the country.

Sure it was still a little scary transitioning in Los Angeles, it's never an easy thing. But I know it made it about 1000% easier. I am glad I held out

They say it for tons of things in life, location is everything. Live where you can be happy, around people that support you for who you are, and thrive.

I live in a college town never a boring life

To be honest, I'd kill for a boring life at the moment [emoji16]

Personal opinion follows (based on 30 hours psych minor a few decades ago ). Take all this with a large grain of salt, and maybe a glass of wine.

Many of us aren't "living" in the first place, just existing. We finally crack and have to face ourselves. In that process, we discover that to get to where we want to be, we have to set goals, lot and lots of goals. And then we begin to meet and accomplish serious goals, often for the first time in our lives, goals that we set for ourselves and do ourselves. Not for others, not set by others, but that we set for ourselves and do ourselves.

That's an immensely satisfying thing. And when transition is done and there are no more transition related goals, what do you do?

My advice is to set new goals. Not transition related but related to your own life. Go visit that faraway country. Go climb that mountain. Go skydiving if that's what you want.

But set goals. Keep setting goals. And keep reaching for those goals. Keep your life full, active, and aimed at making yourself happier. It's the lack of goals that can make you bored, not being post-transition. So give yourself a purpose in life. Travel, education, career, family, whatever, or some mix, give yourself purpose, goals, and then move to achieve them.

That's what I often tell people who tell me they are bored after transitioning.

For me no...

The change in me, since starting hrt has been amazing... and i am not talking about the physical change.. which also has been great

But the mental change... My brain clicked to female.. and I love girly things (clothes, shoes, makeup, nail polish and grooming myself)...... but the biggest change was my attitude.. I went from shy and withdrawn to an outgoing... center of the party type of girl.. and I am now a go getter.. so no life is not boring for me as a post-op completed transition girl.. I am finally living my life.

As someone who is full-time and very happily passing, I'll say that from personal experience, yes life gets very boring.

That said, that's exactly what I was hoping for all along my dream was that one day, my transness would be such a non-event/such a non-part of my life, that life as a woman would be as dull as it would of been had I been born cis.

I WILL say that, though boring (in the best possible way), life is definitely happier . I don't even really think about my trans-status; there's no more stress with 'going out as myself', no more stress using the women's restroom, no more stress meeting with strangers for the first time (well, no more trans-related stress ), just a very typical girl living her life!

well  lets  see. 
  in  transition,  we  deal  with  hormones,  counsling  appointments,  doctor  visits,  ,  then  we  worry  about  clohing,  coming  out,  our  family  and  jobs.    we  seek  out  like  minded  people,  advise  and  wisdom,  attend  support  groups  and  web  site  chats. 
we  practice how to  walk,  talk,  eat,  put  on  makeup,  and  how  to  set.  remember  girls,  no  more  setting  there  with  your  legs  spread  apart  at  a business  meeting. 
  then,  one  day. we  emerge  from  some hospital,  and  all  of  that  stuff,  ends. 
  we learned  it  all,  made  the  grade,  and  now  .? . .   there  in  lies  the  holey  crap  moment. 
the  crossroads  of  transition. 
  personaly,  I  an  glad  that  I  continued  counsling  for  another  year. 
  the  pivatol  question  i  was  asked      in  that  year,  translates  out  like  this. 
" prior  to  transition,  you  felt  the  gender  issue.   though  your  life  had  certain  things  that  you  enjoyed,  or  had  a  passion  for,  this  issue  of  gender  smothered  the  other  pleasureable  things  in  your life.
  so  a  few  years  off,  you  fought  the  fight,  and  now,  you  have  won.  the  fight  is  over.   the  transition  wasnt  a  career,  it  was  a  step,   
  now,  what  do  you  plan  to  do?  "
  That  question  made  me  realise,  that in  my  case,  hunting,  shooting  sports,  fishing,  camping,  were not  the  issue./  they  had nothing  to  do  with  my  transition,  and  had  beed  placed on  hold  so  I  could  afford  both  the costs and  time  requirements  of  transition. 
  thats  the  point  for  me,  that  life  began  again. 

realizing  that  trransition  is  a  step,  not  a  parking  space  or  permanant  home,  is  key,  and  as  with  any  step,  there  should  be  a  "  next  step"  a  place  to  move  forward  to,  to  continue  on.  
    my  advise  to  anyone  'finishing  the  transition  step',  is  to  start  at  the  most  logical  place,  and  thats  back  where  you  were  before  you  took  your 'time  out'  from  life  to  transition.

  remember  what  you  did  enjoy,  and  go  back  there. pick  up  where  you  left  off.

  girls  can  do  what  ever  guys  do,  we  hunt,  fish,  race  and  build  cars,  we  are  into  sports,  we  tailgate  at  the  football  game, there  are  really  no  limits.  dont  steriotype  yourself  to  panties,  makeup,  and  transition.  graduate  to  the  next  step  of  life,  and  it  will  never  be  boring. 

lilredneckgirl : That's good advice, and in many ways it's also what I did.

I was reminded, though, that I forgot to clarify one detail - for me, transition was over years before I had GRS. That surgery at last was a final touch to fix my body for myself, since by then it had been years since anyone around me (but my doctors or wife) knew what was in my pants.

I totally agree I also moved to a different city, but in this case stayed in the same state despite people in my family saying that I should stay in Spokane. Even though Spokane has the resources to many around me in the community were flat out against it and were not supportive. I used my mom's health, who I take care of, as an excuse for moving to Kennewick for which I was called out upon by the one other relative who has transitioned too. It's true other than my primary care doctor being trans friendly every other resource I need is out of town, but actually I don't mind that anymore. Other than the fact that I still have some hair removal to do and I'm just mining my time tell the period of time is up so the SRS letters can be wrote things have gotten to appoint where I have been able to move on to other things. One of those things was reintegrating some things I cut out when I first started my transition. Those things that I enjoyed doing when I had the downtime so I didn't get bored. It was something I had to sort out and figure out for myself, but I'm happier  for having done that. It's to work still takes up the majority of my time and so it's hard to get bored as a result. Even though a few things are still left to do my transition isn't the focus of my time anymore.
Mariah

Quote from: Jennygirl on January 24, 2015, 12:45:09 PM
I think there are factors that play heavily into this, such as the culture at one's geographic location as well as the level of inner circle support.

I grew up in Ohio, and I know it was one of the bigger reasons that subconsciously told me to bottle up / hide my gender variant tendencies. The city of Los Angeles cracked my shell for sure. I feel so blessed to have ignored my family's desire to stay in Ohio and instead took the leap of faith I did to move out here. It still took me 3 years of living in this city and being friends with incredibly open minded people for me to let my guard down enough and give up the shame I had built up over my lifetime so far. I think those layers of shame were in place largely due to living in a rather transphobic area of the country.

Sure it was still a little scary transitioning in Los Angeles, it's never an easy thing. But I know it made it about 1000% easier. I am glad I held out

They say it for tons of things in life, location is everything. Live where you can be happy, around people that support you for who you are, and thrive.

I've not reached the end result yet, but if I have anything to say about it, I'm going to have a blast the rest of my life! Lol.

I would like to be bored