Quote from: Brandon on January 28, 2015, 03:08:39 PM

Man I am just keeping it real not veryone is accepting of that stuff I lucked out,  you got it all twisted, there are crazy people out there who do crazy things its life where you been at no one said its are fault, read between the lines next time. You have alot of ignorant people out there.

Even more reason to be stealth.  I'm not sure what the point in advocating against being stealth is.

Quote from: M a t t on January 28, 2015, 08:22:58 AM
Educate them about it, don't do the same mistake I did. I wanted to start while in high school but my mother was ignorant about transgenders, thought it would cost too much, that I was too young, would harm my health etc..and she only kept getting more ignorant opinions from ignorant ppl about the subject of transgenders.  You're never "Too young" to know who you are. I am 20 now and wish I had started T younger or at least had taken Hormone blockers..

It's transgender people, not transgenders.  It's never too late to start taking hormones.  I too wish I'd been able to start younger (didn't start till 23) but the changes thus far haven't been hindered at all by not starting younger. 

Quote from: aross1015 on January 28, 2015, 03:20:43 PM
Even more reason to be stealth.  I'm not sure what the point in advocating against being stealth is.

It's transgender people, not transgenders.  It's never too late to start taking hormones.  I too wish I'd been able to start younger (didn't start till 23) but the changes thus far haven't been hindered at all by not starting younger.

When your pre T I don't think thats the best idea again he might say he passes but some people can still figure it out thats something is off, my generation is f'd up and crazy so people do crazy things all I am saying is its safer to let some people know again not everyone agrees with that, plus its better to be honest about it.

Quote from: Brandon on January 28, 2015, 03:33:31 PM

When your pre T I don't think thats the best idea again he might say he passes but some people can still figure it out thats something is off, my generation is f'd up and crazy so people do crazy things all I am saying is its safer to let some people know again not everyone agrees with that, plus its better to be honest about it.

Everyone's generation has their share of messed up people who will do messed up thing, that's a given.  Your generation isn't the first to be "crazy and messed up" and certainly won't be the last.  In the OP's situation, you're right, it doesn't really sound feasible for them to be stealth at their new school given that they seem to have no parental support. 

I would like to point out that saying "better to be honest about it" in reference to stealth-ness implies that being stealth is being dishonest.  It's not. 

My parents do support me, it's just that my dad thinks I'm too young and he thinks that I'll change my mind. If I don't "change my mind" (which I can't), he supports me 100%.

The thing is, if people are going to bully transgender people, why wouldn't I go stealth? It's risky, but I just want to live the life I always wanted. And, also, when I said I could pass well, I meant really well--to the point where I look like a guy even with long hair. I've been "mistaken" for a guy my entire life, and with a short hair cut I doubt anyone would question. If questions do come up, I could just say I'm a "late bloomer" or something. I've also been told that "I have a low voice for a girl", it's not what an adult guy's voice would sound like, but again I could just use the late bloomer excuse. Truth is, I'm kinda lucky with passing pre-T. Unfortunately, I'm not lucky with my height, boobs, and hips, but whatever. Sucks that height and hip size are one of the only things I can't change... :/

Quote from: maiLMan on January 28, 2015, 08:10:34 PM
My parents do support me, it's just that my dad thinks I'm too young and he thinks that I'll change my mind. If I don't "change my mind" (which I can't), he supports me 100%.

That doesn't read as supporting to me.  His mentioning of you changing your mind makes me think he just believes you are going through a phase.  Support would be going along with your desire to start your new school as male, and helping you get your name changed at the very least.  Names can be changed more than once (if you were to change your mind).  That would seem supportive to me. 

Quote from: maiLMan on January 28, 2015, 08:10:34 PM
My parents do support me, it's just that my dad thinks I'm too young and he thinks that I'll change my mind. If I don't "change my mind" (which I can't), he supports me 100%.

The thing is, if people are going to bully transgender people, why wouldn't I go stealth? It's risky, but I just want to live the life I always wanted. And, also, when I said I could pass well, I meant really well--to the point where I look like a guy even with long hair. I've been "mistaken" for a guy my entire life, and with a short hair cut I doubt anyone would question. If questions do come up, I could just say I'm a "late bloomer" or something. I've also been told that "I have a low voice for a girl", it's not what an adult guy's voice would sound like, but again I could just use the late bloomer excuse. Truth is, I'm kinda lucky with passing pre-T. Unfortunately, I'm not lucky with my height, boobs, and hips, but whatever. Sucks that height and hip size are one of the only things I can't change... :/

I'm with wheat thins on this, I think they're just humoring you hoping it's a phase. Doesn't sound like support to me.

Well, first off, it's only my dad, not my mom.

He does support me, even if it doesn't seem like that at times. He (probably) thinks this is all just a phase, but once he realizes that this is the real deal he'll start to see that this is important. The thing is, he firmly believes that I can't possibly make a decision like this while only in high school. I don't agree, but I can't do anything to change his mind. He's not as "supportive" as I would like, but at least he isn't kicking me out of the house, and he respects the fact that I'm trans. He's not transphobic in any way, and he will fully support me in my transition, but he just doesn't realize that I am capable of making "decisions" like this.

Quote from: maiLMan on January 28, 2015, 09:06:05 PM
Well, first off, it's only my dad, not my mom.

He does support me, even if it doesn't seem like that at times. He (probably) thinks this is all just a phase, but once he realizes that this is the real deal he'll start to see that this is important. The thing is, he firmly believes that I can't possibly make a decision like this while only in high school. I don't agree, but I can't do anything to change his mind. He's not as "supportive" as I would like, but at least he isn't kicking me out of the house, and he respects the fact that I'm trans. He's not transphobic in any way, and he will fully support me in my transition, but he just doesn't realize that I am capable of making "decisions" like this.

Although studies show that transgender adolescents do not "change their mind" and want to go back to their birth gender, in general adolescents do go through "phases" when they are trying to find themselves.  Unfortunately, parents assume that gender and sexual orientation are "phases" of identity like being goth, for example.

How do you intend to go stealth? Because I'm guessing your birth certificate has not been changed. This means your name on rolls and so on are going to be in your given name, etc. That means your teachers will see your given name (and of course subs and so on). I don't mean to discourage you, because many fo them may be sympathetic and even supportive, but there will be one outlier.

I was a teacher, so I know how the rolls are.

All your records and so on will be in your given name. I think the best thing is to go to your teachers, etc and present your case.

BTW, while trans children might change over time, it is uncommon for teens. I guess it is remotely possible, very remotely, since there is a certain percentage of trans people who do change their minds re; transition.

--Jay

Quote from: maiLMan on January 28, 2015, 08:10:34 PM
My parents do support me, it's just that my dad thinks I'm too young and he thinks that I'll change my mind. If I don't "change my mind" (which I can't), he supports me 100%.

The thing is, if people are going to bully transgender people, why wouldn't I go stealth? It's risky, but I just want to live the life I always wanted. And, also, when I said I could pass well, I meant really well--to the point where I look like a guy even with long hair. I've been "mistaken" for a guy my entire life, and with a short hair cut I doubt anyone would question. If questions do come up, I could just say I'm a "late bloomer" or something. I've also been told that "I have a low voice for a girl", it's not what an adult guy's voice would sound like, but again I could just use the late bloomer excuse. Truth is, I'm kinda lucky with passing pre-T. Unfortunately, I'm not lucky with my height, boobs, and hips, but whatever. Sucks that height and hip size are one of the only things I can't change... :/

Yea I am lucky to probally way luckier than you when it comes to passing but I still let people know, you care way to much about about what people think its better to be honest about that because someone will figure you out especially if they are in your class and you possibly have a sub. If nothings been changed all that is on record best to tell the teachers and all.

Quote from: maiLMan on January 28, 2015, 09:06:05 PM
Well, first off, it's only my dad, not my mom.

He does support me, even if it doesn't seem like that at times. He (probably) thinks this is all just a phase, but once he realizes that this is the real deal he'll start to see that this is important. The thing is, he firmly believes that I can't possibly make a decision like this while only in high school. I don't agree, but I can't do anything to change his mind. He's not as "supportive" as I would like, but at least he isn't kicking me out of the house, and he respects the fact that I'm trans. He's not transphobic in any way, and he will fully support me in my transition, but he just doesn't realize that I am capable of making "decisions" like this.

Thats not supportive if they feel your gonna grow out of it, like Wheat thins said.

Our parents (for the most part) also haven't lived in our worlds and can't possibly understand how wrenching living this way truly is. I am certainly not saying that I agree that he should have to wait, I'm not at all. I would give just about anything to be able to go back and start my transition 15 years sooner than I did. But I do think it is hard to understand the pain and the duality of living the lives we have to live. It's obviously different for everyone, but no one can truly understand other than those of us who live it.

MaiLMan, I'm glad you are getting support from your dad but I do wish they'd be able to understand that this isn't a phase for us and allow you to start things on your timeline.

Your school papers may have to be in your birth name, however it may be a conversation you can have with them. My wife's father stepped out on her when she was very young and the man that she calls her dad came into her life when she was 2. When she switched school districts at 12 years old, the new school allowed her to be registered under her dad's last name instead of her legal last name. It may be worth a conversation with them (depending on how safe the area you end up in ends up being) to see if they will work with you on some solutions that might satisfy both you and your parents.

Quote from: maiLMan on January 27, 2015, 01:31:40 PM
Oh, and, I'd like to use the boy's bathroom--but if the school knows I'm biologically female idk if they would allow that.

If you go by a male name and look somewhat masculine, just use the guys restroom and don't say anything. The administration will never be aware of your behavior if you don't bring it up and if nobody questions you or complains.

Quote from: maiLMan on January 27, 2015, 04:54:24 PM
Yeah lol I probably would just use the boy's bathroom anyways.

For gym idk, I guess I just have to see how it plays out. I'm also looking to join the school's football and baseball teams, and this probably means changing in the boy's locker room. Maybe there are bathroom stalls I could change in or something. Again, I'll just see how it all plays out.

The same should apply for the locker room. Just change and don't let your difference be noticed but maybe avoid the shower.

There are several local kids supported by the Trans Resource Center here. Some of them have been able to do this and some have not. If the staff is not on board this will not work, well may not work. It's not like using a restaurant at McDonalds or something. This is school and staff is somewhat aware of this sort of thing, probably more than you might think.

--Jay

Quote from: mac1 on January 29, 2015, 12:15:01 PM
If you go by a male name and look somewhat masculine, just use the guys restroom and don't say anything. The administration will never be aware of your behavior if you don't bring it up and if nobody questions you or complains.

Quote from: mac1 on January 29, 2015, 12:15:01 PM
If you go by a male name and look somewhat masculine, just use the guys restroom and don't say anything. The administration will never be aware of your behavior if you don't bring it up and if nobody questions you or complains.The same should apply for the locker room. Just change and don't let your difference be noticed but maybe avoid the shower.

Quote from: aleon515 on January 29, 2015, 12:19:45 PM
There are several local kids supported by the Trans Resource Center here. Some of them have been able to do this and some have not. If the staff is not on board this will not work, well may not work. It's not like using a restaurant at McDonalds or something. This is school and staff is somewhat aware of this sort of thing, probably more than you might think.

--Jay

I think it would be a bigger concern for a "MTF" person.

So even if I do get my legal name changed before next school year, will all my records and stuff still be under my birth name? And, say there is a sub, will they see my birth name or my legal name (provided I had changed it)?

I'd have to tell the teachers, and just pray that they are supportive. Florida is more of a conservative state in the north, not the south. Still, there still might be some rednecks floating about. I don't know what's waiting for me out there...

And no, I don't want to be out because I don't want to be trans. I don't really think of myself as a "trans man" sometimes, it's more along the lines of "a man born with a medical condition that requires me  to take hormones and get surgery". I don't want to be out and open about it because people won't see me as truly male--all I want to do is to live my life the way it was supposed to be, and to not make being trans a big deal.

Oh, and can you guys send me some links to articles or surveys showing how transgender teens don't regret transitioning? That'd be really helpful.

Quote from: maiLMan on January 29, 2015, 09:18:44 PM
So even if I do get my legal name changed before next school year, will all my records and stuff still be under my birth name? And, say there is a sub, will they see my birth name or my legal name (provided I had changed it)?

I'd have to tell the teachers, and just pray that they are supportive. Florida is more of a conservative state in the north, not the south. Still, there still might be some rednecks floating about. I don't know what's waiting for me out there...

And no, I don't want to be out because I don't want to be trans. I don't really think of myself as a "trans man" sometimes, it's more along the lines of "a man born with a medical condition that requires me  to take hormones and get surgery". I don't want to be out and open about it because people won't see me as truly male--all I want to do is to live my life the way it was supposed to be, and to not make being trans a big deal.

I am out and people see m as a real male again you care wayyyy to much about what others think, no one said walk around with a big poster on your for head all I am saying is its probaly not the best idea pre t hell I get called handsome and everything along the lines of you don't look like you were ever born different your like any other guy and I am out to most, I'd rather be out than have this constant fear of what if they figure me out. You remember Brandon Tenna don't you?

Quote from: maiLMan on January 29, 2015, 09:18:44 PM
So even if I do get my legal name changed before next school year, will all my records and stuff still be under my birth name? And, say there is a sub, will they see my birth name or my legal name (provided I had changed it)?

If you had your name changed before your dad registered you for school and he registered you with your new legal name, then your legal name would appear on the roster and such, but your records from your old school still be under your birthname, unless there was a way to get your old schools to change them.

Quote from: Brandon on January 29, 2015, 09:27:26 PM
I am out and people see m as a real male again you care wayyyy to much about what others think, no one said walk around with a big poster on your for head all I am saying is its probaly not the best idea pre t hell I get called handsome and everything along the lines of you don't look like you were ever born different your like any other guy and I am out to most, I'd rather be out than have this constant fear of what if they figure me out. You remember Brandon Tenna don't you?

Please quit using your personal feelings towards being out and the way you are treated by your peers as a reason for why other's should be out.  And please quit trying to use the tragic death of a trans person as a reason to shame the OP for wanting to be stealth while in school.

His feelings about wanting to be stealth are just as valid as any feelings you may have about your outness.