I know this can be a loaded question but I have had a few instances of friends/co workers saying things that made me think hey I want to be or that I am not what I appear to be. I will give some examples iof what I mean.

One co worker mentioned that he could spot a gay by the tone of their voice then later asked if I was. One I have worked with a gay and I do not have that tone for one and I do not perceive myself as gay either yet I am male and would like to have sex with a male.

Just sitting around talking on a break and a female co worker mentioned that omg you do not want to be wearing a bra and here I am thinking well actually yes I do. She was the only female present btw.

Yet again at work someone asked if we lived together would you stay out of my panty drawer and I said well of course.

Just add  had openly stated yes I am a virgin even though I am not young at all mid 40s.

Actually when I cam out to my mom she did mention that when I was very young (Preschool) that someone pointed at me and said you have a cute girl. Yet DMAB and tbh I did not recall that one at all.

Hell the first friend I came out to was weird in the sense that instead of me asking it was him asking me if I was gay/transgender. Talk about being shocked in reverse lol.

Things like that I guess are part of my thoughts that I am not CIS. By all means not the only thing but just wondering if anyone else has had some experiences like that in their past. It might be one of those things that help considering to or not to transition:) After all in the end we really are who we are no matter what:)

Oh sure, bunches of teasing, bad jokes, and innuendo most of my life.  Usually it was conflated with those familiar references to being gay even while I have been happily out as Bi most of my adult life.  The sad truth is that I was the one who was clueless too long and did not connect the clues and dots for a long time.  Happy to have moved on and feel like, OK i get it now.

Well, can't really say for my parents or siblings yet on if they thought anything(hopefully coming out to my mom tonight)...

But, when I came out to one of my friends in 2013, he said that he always suspected I may be gay..

My 2 cousins out of nowhere at a wedding asked me if I was gay or bi, another cousin before that asked if I was a girl in a boy's body(I totally would have come out to him at that moment, if I wasn't at his house, and if my brother wasn't there).

Probably more things that I can't think of right now.. But it is weird how much people pick up on, which I didn't really pick up on myself.

When I was 12, a surgeon told me that he removed undeveloped girl parts from a testicle.

My go-to 8th grade bully was doling out his usual beating, and as he was throttling me he exclaimed, "You're such a f***ing WOMAN!" (He HAS to know by now.)

Lots of people assumed I was gay or bi.  I am, mind you, but just not in the way they thought. 

I fooled around with more than my share of lesbians and bisexual girls in high school and college that thought I was "different" than most guys.

One of my close female friends in college put makeup on me one Halloween (I went as Robert Smith) and told me that I'd actually make a decent looking girl.

My therapist flat out told me, "You're transgender."

I've been growing my hair out for about a year (which is strange because my TG switch didn't get kicked back on until later in the year) and it is getting pretty long.  Last week one of the secretaries at work dropped something off at my office and said "Hola - Lola" 

A couple months ago I gave a presentation on a very controversial issue and in some public message board comments it was noted that I "looked weird."

A couple years ago my ex-wife said I needed to have a talk with our kids about my sexual orientation because it was obvious that I was gay. 

Maybe I'm starting to show?

Does a computer count ? 

For many years now I have worked with many companies on software development, from video games and toys to interactive advertisement displays. I have had the opportunity to use many types of "human tracking" algorithms. Things like evaluating the mood of a person looking at a kiosk using camera images or studying users gait or mannerisms using Kinect tracking or also voice cues. For years now the computer reports back that I am female a high percent of the time. Sometimes the companies I am working for think that the software i made for them is not working correct when I demo it but then I have to explain to them that it works fine just not on me because it thinks I am female. I have been laughed at about it or teased a little but when I show them it works 99% accurate on other users they usually say something to the effect of "Well, I guess I can see why it would think you are female now that you say that, you do appear female"

The computer always gendering me female is part of what made me face my transgender identity , or possible intersex condition. (Still waiting on taking tests) The computer can not be wrong that many times!

Some friends and family I have come out to have said something to the effect of "Duh, yeah I have know that for a long time" my response to that is usually, "Well... why did you not tell me!! I only just figured it out!"

And yeah, lots of people have questioned if I am gay, or just assume I am. It always bugged me especially when they just assume it and then tell others without asking me. I am not gay and would rather answer the question than just be labeled it. I swear the computer is much much nicer than most people 

There has probably been so many more instances of other people knowing before I did , I was just clueless and never really dealt with who I am until recently. I just brushed it off and still pretended to be male.. 

-Jade

Well... as an FTM...

As a kid I was a tomboy and was called that to my face. It never bothered me and I liked the idea. I have pictures of myself when little, and people have told me I would have been one of "those" rough and tumble boys if I could have been. Such as being completely frustrated the year I wanted to go in the Chuck E. Cheese's ball pit, but was prevented by my parents because I had a war-wound style head bandage after reconstructive surgery on my ear. I would have gone in absolutely!!! Or the kid with rumbled hair and a grin so wide you can see the uvula through the gap where my two front teeth hadn't come in yet.

As a teen, my dad (he told me this a while back) would stop my mother from correcting my MANerrisms. His PoV was that they were my behaviours, and they made me unique. Mom's was that I behaved too much like a boy! I also ran away screaming from any sort of skirt/dress (figuratively) unless it was a requirement to "dress up" for a fancy or important occasion.

As a young adult, I had respected female friends/elders who literally taught me to wear skirts and be more feminine, one even exclaimed "You think like a guy!" and I didn't know why that was so bad. "I think the way I've always thought" They also had to make me aware that the milk sacks were visible beneath the thin fabric of my pyjama top (I wore pants too) and it was making the the other guy  at the common table uncomfortable. Ooops, I try not to pay attention to the moobs, but as a cis-guy I could have been barechested and no one would care!

Now, hardly anyone I've revealed myself to as trans is at all surprised, except the one person who's never met me in person and to whom I revealed myself as FTM rather than the cis-male that I had presented (in chat rooms). I am asking for critical and friendly eyes to help me present more male and been told "you already dress pretty andro, so just a few small things will probably help".

Does all that count?

I doubt most cis people really know let alone get to the point of dropping hints. If they say something it seems it's usually from a misunderstanding or from a desire to denigrate (calling people the opposite gender to what they're presenting as is usually intended as hilarious/an insult in the cis mind...sigh).

Anyway, I did have a female friend tell me when I was at university that I wasn't like other guys and that I was an honary woman. She didn't mean it as an insult...I couldn't have been happier!

Sounds like am not alone on this one.

Ms. Grace you brought up a great point as yes some do say it in jest but when its not in jest sure does make ya think they know more then you. Funny how that works and ya have a few other instances now that I look back they were not in jest they were sincere but not outright hey your gay/trans. Such as:

Jade-404 of course computers count its a lot like kids saying something they only know what they see and they speak the truth.

Jill F. what can I say to that nothen really I was bullied when I was a kid too but don't recall being called a girl. As I got older I got bigger so I finally got left alone now I wish I didn't get that damn growth spurt eh such is life aint it.

Tessa I think you hit the nail on the head really. Really somehow its like animals sense a storm or something as other people sense things in other people ya a little different but sometimes we are just dumb to our surroundings or ourselves.

I was told a proverbial type story ok boss was old greek told stories which usually pertained to work in some way. But one time he spoke of this story and bad at it by try to get gist of it.

There was a man who had to marry and he had two choices one was the most beautiful woman in the town the other was the ugliest. Well the man thought of course I will marry the most beautiful woman. Time passed by and he found the woman to be very unpleasant to live with so he decided to leave her. He gave the ugliest woman a try and fell in love with her. Morale of the story beauty that is on the inside is more important then the outside.

After that night I kinda put it to one side and only till recently that I clued in that hey he was trying to tell me something perhaps ya know the old wise greek guy thing lol. Never truly know he passed away few years back.

I am sure many of us just ignored or pushed aside these hints till somewhere we had a 2x4 hit us on the head or something and finally realised hey wait a sec:)

Personally myself still accepting all of this but I have accepted it a lot more due to a lot of the way to common thoughts/ideas/experiences that I have seen on this forum to the point that its like could write this stuff. Yet I understand of course we cant all be the same but there sure seems to be a relative commonality to concepts or maybe I am just reading into things the wrong way.

Just to clarify yup I found the 2x4 that hit my dumb head:) Still dazed a bit but its clearing up:)

Dunno if this counts since it wasn't originally said straight to me, I heard about it couple years ago. Anywho, I don't think I was much older than five or so when my mom had said to her friend that she wouldn't be surprised if one day I came to her and introduced myself with a male name (and she used the name I ended up taking in the end lol). She told me about that when we were talking about my transition when it was in the early stages most likely to show that yes, she had seen the signs very early on.

One of the girls at work always calls me "Princess", and although I occasionally get sir'd by her, she usually uses ma'am. I'm not out at work for fear of potential backlash, so you can just imagine the discomfort!

Quote from: Jen72 on February 12, 2015, 11:29:01 PM
Sounds like am not alone on this one.


Jade-404 of course computers count its a lot like kids saying something they only know what they see and they speak the truth.

Oh yeah I forgot about kids!

On the beach little girls saying "Mommy that girl has no shirt on", this has happened a few times. I had pecs not breasts then, so um yeah...

In the store around christmas time a few years back a little boy was shooting a toy nerf gun at me. I grabbed one and shot back, diving behind some boxes. We laughed, had a fun time for a bit. His mom was nice she was laughing too. The boy asks, are you a girl? or a boy? I did not answer because his mom answered quickly "Boy!" she got red faced looked at me and said "Sorry" and then took his hand and hurried away. The boy looked back, he had the biggest smile on his face, and he waved bye. He didn't care if I was Boy or Girl, he just couldn't tell so he asked. I was not bothered by that at all.

In a restaurant I over heard a brother and sister arguing if I was a boy or a girl. They were sitting behind me, I think they thought I could not hear them. I turned around and said "Boy"... they were shocked silent. A minute passed and the older brother said "See I told you it is a boy!" the girl says "Shut up... shhhh!" I laughed. 

My friend has a son who has developmental issues. Every time I see them he says weird stuff like "Oh this lady again, mom she is crazy" or "OMG lady just shut up" and "Don't talk to me I don't like girls" Admittedly I do like to talk to him and joke with him, he does not interact with others well, usually won't talk to people. I get him talking haha!

So yeah kids, they just know somehow. Like the computer does. its cute lol

-Jade

Well there were those many time as a child where my mother, aunt and grandmother kept reminding me I was too pretty to be a boy.......I only wish I could tell my mom that she had the daughter she always wanted.

Oh, I didn't even think about childhood stuff! My parents always told me people thought I was a girl when I was a baby, despite all the blue they'd invested in to avoid that exact situation. Maybe it's just more obvious when we're young?

Nope - I flew totally under the radar until I told HR at work what I was about to do. When I came out to my boss he was literally speechless - he finally got out "you wear MAKEUP?!?!" Yep, I do! 

I was your the average, boring, unremarkable, slighty femme looking male flying under the radar, doing what was expected of him, and holding a little secret that no one knew about and no one guessed

Quote from: Eva Marie on February 13, 2015, 02:57:21 AM
I was your the average, boring, unremarkable, slighty femme looking male flying under the radar, doing what was expected of him, and holding a little secret that no one knew about and no one guessed

And just look at you now! 

Let me count the ways

* Doctors and Nurses having debates about my gender when I'm on a hospital bed
* A friends mother introducing me to the entire family via a girls name
* One job I was known as princess
* In TAFE I was called a girls version of my name, and we use to introduce myself to teachers in my class that way. I was even asked on numerous occasions if   I was wearing girls jeans
* Little kids 5yr olds where always comming up and saying hello lady.
* Ex girlfriend's female friends would include me in their girls nights
* Another job would call me a girls version of my name.

Somehow if I meet these people in the future and tell them. I doubt they would be surprised (Well my friend's mother knows and she wasn't at all)

My wife thought I was gay when we first started dating.  To the point where she brought her gay friend with to a party to "gaydar" me.  He cleared me. 

I didn't find this out until I was 19, but when I was very little, my paternal grandmother dressed me up in girls clothes and paraded me around saying how much cuter I was as a girl.  My dad told me he blamed that for my GD.  Nonsense.  Grandmas just know better. [emoji1]

It's strange how sometimes the most uninformed cis persons can be just right...

Like, I remember, after an exhausting shoes-hunt where I would refuse any pair my mom proposed, she told me in the car something like "on day you will be forced to accept you are a girl" (thought "never !!!");
When I asked for learning double bass she told me no because it was "not feminine enough"
... so it seems that my mother was afraid to know... (didn't tell her yet... I a little bit anxious about it...)

And of course, many of my friends not counting me in the girls' camp or saying things like "you are not really a girl" (especially boys).
I have a friend who likes to play with people and once, we knew each other for only some weeks and we were skating together with a very good friend of him. And suddenly he told her "ho ! do you remember the talk we had with X, that's a soooo good question for [my birth name] !" And the question was "how would you define masculinity and femininity ?"...

But I must say what I like the most is that if I am the only non-boy in a group, quite often nobody seems to consider there's a girl.

I got lots of comments from my classmates in high school that I acted like a guy/butch. That was before I ever thought I might be gay, about a year later I started identifying as butch.

In my junior year my closest friend at the time was pretty upset one day, so I gave her a hug when I saw her, and what did she say? "Only now do I feel like you're a girl." (Does this imply that she feels like I'm a guy? Still not sure)
My mom always asked me why I lowered my voice and tried to sound like a guy, usually when I wasn't even trying to do anything. Mom often asked me whether I was butch, more recently she started asking me if I was a boy.

My closest friend recently told me that she never saw me as a girl. My classmates always kept some sort of distance between me and then which was never there between themselves.. Dunno

My family members (some pretty conservative) sometimes made comments of the sort "are you a boy" but I don't recall any context.