Greetings, Del It's good to see you around here again. Please forgive me if my answer seems oversimplified as I am very tired, but wanted to reply before I went to sleep.
First off, I commend you for sitting down and asking questions: wanting to know from our perspectives on the transgender topic. I feel that dialogue is very important, even if we disagree on certain things. As for your question, I feel the best way to answer is by sharing my story.
Have you ever wondered if the whole reason you are transgender may boil down to Satan trying to get you to give up on the Lord or curse God and die?
No. To be honest, if Satan wanted me to do that, then being cisgender would have been the best way for me to go. It wasn't until I realized that I was transgender that I came to a saving faith in Christ just a couple of years back. Before then, I would consider myself just to be "playing church": not really caring about the things of the Lord....running away from Him. I was a depressed woman who hated myself, I believe part of the reason was being a Lordship Salvationist. That, in a way, made me feel like giving up on the Lord because I could never reach His standard of holiness and say "screw it, what's the point?". This was before I had a true understanding of grace, which lead me to believe in "Once Saved Always Saved" as Biblical doctrine. I officially dedicated my my life to the Lord after hearing about the promise of His eternal security, and I now I strive more to follow His commandments, not out of fear of Hell, but just in obedience to God. Granted, the Lord will discipline His children if we decide to live a wicked life, so that (should) keep us in check, but even if some of us are the type to be heavily disciplined on this Earth, it is such a comfort to know that we cannot screw up our ticket in Heaven, since that was based on Jesus to begin with. Some of those "professing Christians" who tell me that I am wrong and I need to repent from this "sin", or I will go to Hell, I question their salvation as I'm not quite sure *they* understand the concept of grace. When the Bible said "Whosoever", He meant it.
I will admit, however, that being transgender sure does confuse things for me, even as being a strong Christian (things like who I can marry and having to mentally reconcile "clobber passages" each time I see them being used). For myself I believe that me being transgender is a product of the fall. I see it as a birth defect, but as in Joseph's case, what the enemy intended for evil, God used it for good. It is possible that I may have never come to a saving faith as a transgendered individual. I know that God affirms me as a man. Now, what to do with that affirmation? I aspire to live out my manhood through the lens of the King James Bible and seek to gain the characteristics of what it Biblically means to be a man, and more specifically, the qualities needed to be a godly husband: a.k.a working by the sweat of my brow so I can support my wife and not be worse than an infidel....being strong, and being a leader in the house and the head of the household, loving the wife as Christ loves the church, and so on. Back then, I couldn't relate to trying to live through Biblical womanhood, because I wasn't a woman, but now as my true self, I embrace the qualities that God wants to specifically want see in a man, even if I don't have many of those qualities yet. I accept all and reject none.
Then there's the issue of the gospel, especially in the LBGT (mainly focusing on the T here) community where many have been condemned as reprobates and sodomites, resulting in many of us turning their back on the gospel. I wonder how to effectively deliver the gospel to those who feel like castaways: well, I have a feeling that Jude 1:22's approach would be best approach from Christian people trying to reach them....and that's having compassion, making a difference. For you as a cisgender minister, I feel that you are helping doing that by just listening to our stories. I believe *that* within itself makes a difference. For a transgender person like myself, I think that would entail walking my life out as a Christian transman trying to live for God....and let the light of Christ shrine through me. Granted ALL Christians should be letter their Light shine anyways, BUT to a LBGT person who wants to feel the love of God, but feel like they are unworthy due to the church's condemning message, having an LBGT trans person walk that out may be the *only* way they get saved, if they are still emotionally not in a place to have the gospel received by a heterosexual cisgendered Christian.
Having said that, having some form of "church hurt" doesn't change the fact that there is a Heaven and a Hell, and that our souls are going to spend eternity in one of them, and with that being said, I have no problems saving with fear, pulling them out of the fire, hating even the garment spotted by the flesh as the Bible talks about. I believe emphasizing eternal security and exposing that wicked Lordship Salvation crap that's going to send a person to Hell is what is going to do the trick. It's a beautiful thing that salvation is 100 percent free and that we don't work for it, and *that*is what I want to get across to those in the LBGT community, and not just them, but every creature. Many may disagree and call me a heretic, easy-belivism false prophet, wicked sodomite reprobate God-rejecting devil doing the work of Satan, but I will stand firm on my beliefs concerning this.
I'm sorry that this wasn't as detailed, but I hope this helps you in your understanding. God bless.