I am putting this question in the T section because it has to do with voice change. 
I am generally able to control the lowness of my voice but today when I was talking on the phone (customer service) I guess I was careless.  The customer service (that is in charge of my health insurance) has F in their system and asked me if I was that "young lady" and I kind of paused and said "no" and began asking my question and then she ignorantly goes on saying "because ____(my name-which actually genderless) that's a lady's name" when she probably never even heard of the name before.  She referred me as 'sir' throughout the conversation except once saying "or maam"...  whatever.
But my actual question is, what do I do about this in a general sense? Of course, this situation is a sensitive one since I need it to say F in my insurance (for now) but  I would like to get it  changed to M for other things.
How can I proceed with this while sounding natural about it?  Like, can I say"I never noticed up until now but it says F and I am not a female. Any suggestions?

Quote from: makipu on February 25, 2015, 01:58:59 PM
I am putting this question in the T section because it has to do with voice change. 
I am generally able to control the lowness of my voice but today when I was talking on the phone (customer service) I guess I was careless.  The customer service (that is in charge of my health insurance) has F in their system and asked me if I was that "young lady" and I kind of paused and said "no" and began asking my question and then she ignorantly goes on saying "because ____(my name-which actually genderless) that's a lady's name" when she probably never even heard of the name before.  She referred me as 'sir' throughout the conversation except once saying "or maam"...  whatever.
But my actual question is, what do I do about this in a general sense? Of course, this situation is a sensitive one since I need it to say F in my insurance (for now) but  I would like to get it  changed to M for other things.
How can I proceed with this while sounding natural about it?  Like, can I say"I never noticed up until now but it says F and I am not a female. Any suggestions?

There really isn't anything you can do about it.  If you want to stay female on your insurance, you need to acknowledge that you are "female", even if that is not how you identify.  That is why people have to be so careful when they decide to take T.  They need to walk into with the assumption that their lower voice is going to stay with them, even if they detransition.

THIS issue is the only thing that kept me from trying T 10 years ago.  Since I wasn't confident I wanted to socially/professionally transition to male, I couldn't take the chance of my voice dropping.  The dysphoria got the best of me, so I decided to try low T.  I am now fully transitioning.

Brett is correct; in terms of medical documentation, there really isn't any way around it other than to come out. It'll be awkward, and some people might become too curious or inappropriate after they find out, but that's just the cost of doing business, unfortunately. My dermatologist, for example, was fascinated and made me pretty uncomfortable for an appointment or two, but now he's grown used to it and it never comes up anymore. Your doctors -- provided they aren't horrible -- will just make a note of it like they would with any other preexisting condition and move on.

I used to be terrified that my driver's license would out me constantly -- I look young, so I'm almost always carded at bars and clubs -- but I've been amazed at how many people either don't see my gender marker or just kind of gloss over it without processing what's actually written there. I've gotten my share of confused or searching looks, but 95% of the time, they continue to gender me correctly without even skipping a beat. I think people naturally put more stock in what they perceive with their own senses.

I will say I had some funny and surreal experiences over the phone when my voice first changed and I still had to officially identify myself with my birth name. They all assumed I was calling on behalf of a female relative or girlfriend and I had to patiently explain that actually, it was me. Thankfully, enough people have unique names these days that my explanation was usually taken at face value and not examined too closely.

Thank you both. I actually don't regret taking T and I would probably still be at least taking a low dose if it wasn't for the side effect of hair loss and facial hair.

I will put up with the insurance for now because I am still working on getting rid of the female related problems in my body so I need it to say F.  It feels completely wrong and even sickening for me to say things like "this is HER" (when I have to use the actual wording specifying the F. gender) but I guess I can put up with saying "yes, that's me"   

Brett, it seems you also took time in deciding T.  I thought about it for years on and off as well but my BIGGEST desire  was getting rid of the actual body parts (breasts and stopping periods)
My current voice is neutral when heard in person but it could easily go lower. But when speaking on the phone it's like that voice is unrecognizably low and is much harder to keep it at a normal level.

Youngbuck, my ID is already changed to M but unlike you, I most likely don't pass.So having the M is like my treasure that hopefully would...'confirm' that but I am not going to make people believe me.  The only thing that 'passes' with me is probably only my voice from T.

Quote from: makipu on February 26, 2015, 10:39:19 AM


Brett, it seems you also took time in deciding T.  I thought about it for years on and off as well but my BIGGEST desire  was getting rid of the actual body parts (breasts and stopping periods)

Yes, like you, my biggest desire was top surgery.  I got that done over a year ago and wasn't planning on going on T at the time.

It is nice no longer having a period, but it actually didn't make me all that dysphoric.  I have never connected it with having children, giving birth, or femininity.  I just thought of it as bleeding from a body part once a month.  I also have never tracked my period and have never been on birth control.  Subsequently, no period in a given month doesn't mean I could be pregnant.  Not having to take birth control or use any (I only have ever dated cis females), I think also helps with it not triggering me...I never have to think about the purpose of those internal organs or what having a period actually means.

Interesting, I never really framed it this way before, but it makes sense as to why it may be less triggering for me, than some others.

I just wanted to update on this topic regarding a different scenario that happened recently.  I got a form that I had to sign (related to my insurance) and whoever filled it  checked M in the sex section (when I never provided my ID to them) I am assuming since my voice passed as male they disregard what says otherwise in front of them so even though it was hard, I called and simply mentioned "it says M in the sex section" (the best wording I can come up with anyways)  and thank goodness they didn't make anything out of it...
It's really difficult to go through with two things saying the opposite.