We as trans women are good at spotting each other.  We know what the signs are, and we've got them in the front of our minds all the time.  This is especially because we put a lot of effort into trying to mask or counteract the things that we can't change...the things we think make us identifiably trans.

The cashier that helped me at the grocery store tonight had all the classic signs.  She had a fairly low voice, was close to 6 ft, had big hands, slight brow bossing, and a masculine shaped face.  She was also pregnant.  So...not a trans woman.  Not even a little bit. 

It's really true that women come in all shapes and sizes.  We nitpick our physical shortcomings, because we're afraid of being clocked or outed.  But we focus on that at the expense of our self-confidence, and that's what outs us more often than not.

So control the things you can control, mask the things you can't control as best you can.  And then just enjoy the fact that you're not a guy anymore. 

Damn!  Just when you thought you'd found one...! 

That's totally the point, and you're so right Katie - we all come in such varied shapes and sizes, and there is such a huge overlap with girls who popped out of the womb as girls.  Fret less and enjoy more!

Hugs
Julia

This is so true and put a smile on my face! So cute!

True, and this goes for everything and everyone too. Everyone is so fixated on their own insecurities and what other people are thinking of them that no one ever has time to actually critique anyone else. It's a freeing thing to remember when being a first timer at somewhere like a gym; no, everyone is not looking at me, most likely they don't even know I'm here.

Yep, totally agree. My height 5 10 used to bother me until I started noticing there wer so many other females standing just as tall as me, or taller. I have a friend, her best friend is 24 years old and 6 3....making me appear short.
Now I just have to get over why I'm so short

I'm 6'2 don't think I would chance wearing heels lol

Its true. Its perception.

One of my first awakening moments was a month or so back. I was talking shoes with an old friend, as I am want to. She liked my current pair and asked what size they were. I told her a men's 9.5. She said that was what she wore, a women's 11. I think she is very close to my height as well and a touch heavy. I Know several women who are my hight, 5 10. And they all have different body types. Heavy, broom stick, curvey and everything in between. This is a great thread because it speeks the truth.

Heck, when I saw a picture of that Texas legislator who has proposed that transphobic bathroom bill, my first thought was. "She does not pass... Oh, that's her beef with transwomen, people think she's one of us!"

It's so true, see some of the things that I figure will get me outed too most days... Once again it's about confidence, not what you specifically want or wanted anyway, but confidence.

Nice for us all to hear another Affirmation Katie.... Thanks 

L Katy

Quote from: lashingkarma976 on February 26, 2015, 04:54:17 AM
I'm 6'2 don't think I would chance wearing heels lol

I'm only 5'7" and even I feel tall in heels.  A lot of this really is in our heads.  But if heels put you up to 6'6" then you may have a point. It's a good thing there are lots of really cute flats 

I have my doubt's about transdar and gaydar. Did anyone see "The Mysteries of Laura" this week? Their gay character was kvetching to a cute bartender that he couldn't find a suitable gay man to pretend to be his fiance for a family gathering and said that it was a shame that the bartender was straight. The bartender told him that his gaydar was on the fritz. Maybe we're a little more sensitive to the signs, but not so much that I would trust it.

Quote from: katiej on February 26, 2015, 09:16:14 AM
I'm only 5'7" and even I feel tall in heels.  A lot of this really is in our heads.  But if heels put you up to 6'6" then you may have a point. It's a good thing there are lots of really cute flats 

I'm 5' 7" as well and a lot of women and men tower over me in my town! Heels are fun though! Even though I do feel a bit towery.. lol!

Quote from: Dee Walker on February 26, 2015, 10:38:44 AM
I have my doubt's about transdar and gaydar. Did anyone see "The Mysteries of Laura" this week? Their gay character was kvetching to a cute bartender that he couldn't find a suitable gay man to pretend to be his fiance for a family gathering and said that it was a shame that the bartender was straight. The bartender told him that his gaydar was on the fritz. Maybe we're a little more sensitive to the signs, but not so much that I would trust it.

My transdar was totally OFF for one of my best friends of many years.. She's a slightly older woman, but beautiful, and anyway, she came out to me as trans last year when I was on the cusp of starting transition! And I had NO idea! It was so surreal and awesome! lol! I was amazed because I just never ever in a million years would have thought she was trans, even seeing younger photos of her she just look so cis.. lol! Anyway.. sometimes even the most perceptive people won't realize these things.. haha!

I am 6'2" and I can relate to others who are tall. For me heels would definitely be out of the question, even though I have seen tall women who wear high heels. They say the reason they do is to make their calves look better, more shapely.

Ha! This thing pops into my head alot, and I notice a lot of "trans women" in daily life but I am sure 99% of them are cis.

Haha!! I had a similar experience yesterday evening at Macy's. I thought the cashier lady was trans. She looked quiet feminine, but had some of the markers we are so obsessed with. She had broad shoulders, over 6 ft. tall and typical 'green color' beard shadow around the upper and lower jaw. Obviously, I didn't say anything for two reasons.

First - the most important - I did not want let her know that I clocked her (if she was indeed trans) and second - I may just be over-thinking and projecting, I did not want to embarrass myself.

On another note - I found this amazing jacket with a MSRP of $100, which I picked up for $40 .. yay ..

My ex who is 100% female went through a phase of trans spotting after I came out, it was her way of getting at me, the ironic thing was that she looked way more masculine than I ever could. I never had the heart to point this out to her no mattert how spiteful she got.

Quote from: ssneha23 on February 26, 2015, 02:24:37 PM

On another note - I found this amazing jacket with a MSRP of $100, which I picked up for $40 .. yay ..

Trust me you will find plenty of those

Quote from: katiej on February 26, 2015, 01:50:51 AM
We as trans women are good at spotting each other.  We know what the signs are, and we've got them in the front of our minds all the time.  This is especially because we put a lot of effort into trying to mask or counteract the things that we can't change...the things we think make us identifiably trans.

The cashier that helped me at the grocery store tonight had all the classic signs.  She had a fairly low voice, was close to 6 ft, had big hands, slight brow bossing, and a masculine shaped face.  She was also pregnant.  So...not a trans woman.  Not even a little bit. 

It's really true that women come in all shapes and sizes.  We nitpick our physical shortcomings, because we're afraid of being clocked or outed.  But we focus on that at the expense of our self-confidence, and that's what outs us more often than not.

So control the things you can control, mask the things you can't control as best you can.  And then just enjoy the fact that you're not a guy anymore. 

Thank You;

Yet another confirmation of the reality test I often advise in "Passing" threads of spending some quality time in a supermarket checkout line on a Friday evening or Saturday morning and see real women doing everyday things and not the Hollywood or glam magazine viewpoint of what real women look like

AMEN!

Love this post KatieJ

xo

April

Quote from: katiej on February 26, 2015, 01:50:51 AM
We as trans women are good at spotting each other.  We know what the signs are, and we've got them in the front of our minds all the time.  This is especially because we put a lot of effort into trying to mask or counteract the things that we can't change...the things we think make us identifiably trans.

The cashier that helped me at the grocery store tonight had all the classic signs.  She had a fairly low voice, was close to 6 ft, had big hands, slight brow bossing, and a masculine shaped face.  She was also pregnant.  So...not a trans woman.  Not even a little bit. 

It's really true that women come in all shapes and sizes.  We nitpick our physical shortcomings, because we're afraid of being clocked or outed.  But we focus on that at the expense of our self-confidence, and that's what outs us more often than not.

So control the things you can control, mask the things you can't control as best you can.  And then just enjoy the fact that you're not a guy anymore. 

im 6.2 and have some sick heels!! i just pretend im Jodie Kidd hehehe