... And that conclusion just came from a most unusual source. I am an unapologetic rock & roll girl. If I had figured out my gender a few decades earlier, I am pretty sure that I would have ended up a rock groupie. That probably wouldn't surprise those of you here who have seen my pictures and read my posts. A lot of that girl has survived, and I am almost 60 now. I thought that I had already gone through my 2nd puberty some time ago, but my sexuality has remained a mystery throughout it all. While I have occasionally had grand romantic thoughts, I can't say I have had a sustainable case of being physically attracted to anybody of either sex since being on HRT. I have had flashes maybe, but very transitory at best.

Well, all week I have been playing Rolling Stones videos on youtube, while I worked. Then I saw one where Keith Richards was doing a solo, and I am guessing he was about 40 or 45 in it. My heart started fluttering like it never had before. Granted, today Richards looks like he has been embalmed (and probably has), but if he could get in a time machine and go back about 30 years, he would have this girl's heart locked up in about a second. I could totally see myself in a tiny little skirt hanging around the backstage door of a concert hall, hoping for a chance to end up in Keith's arms and have those amazing eyes of his look into my soul. 

Being on hormones has taught me a thing or two about the differences between male and female arousal. Many MtFs report that their sex drive declines or even disappears on HRT. That hasn't exactly happened to me. Instead, it is morphed into something else. The male sex drive is more focused than the female one. It is basically about seeing something a guy likes, and then urge to penetrate takes over. And that's pretty much the end of the story. The female sex drive is broader, more complicated, less focused, and involves a wider range of emotions. But it can smolder underneath for a very long time before erupting in flames. When I went on hormones, and this more holistic sex drive took root, it opened the door for me to explore a lot of latent and subtle feelings that I believe have always been there. In a physical sense I am not terribly attracted to men. But I am attracted to situations where a man can take center stage. My heart pounds in the context of rebellion. I am a rock and roll girl through and through. But I also want to feel somewhat safe. If I see a man who has the look of rebellion in his eyes, but also can convince me with his words and deeds that he can look into abyss and survive unscathed, I am highly intrigued. I want to ride on the back of his Harley, holding onto him so tight.

Congratulations,

It sounds like you are unlocking a lot of pent up (or new found) feelings, have fun.

I can't see Keith Richards, but maybe that's because I'm only 24. I -have- always had an attraction to Ozzy Osbourne though...

I don't have anything substantial to add to this post. I just loved reading it.

I feel like I've recently started discovering more about my sexuality lately so I feel like I can relate a little bit. I also kinda miss my rebellious "devil may care" days.