I did it, I didn't chicken out... I wasn't even late


I was nervous as hell and the session started out talking about things like depression and sexual issues, things that are really symptoms of my gender issues, and it expanded to talking about loaing my father a few months ago and then into the biggie, my gender issues. I actually talked about it all, I told a person face-to-face that I always wanted to be female, that in all my sexual fantasies/dreams I am only female, and we even went into my fears and hangups regarding the process of transitioning. There was some good information discussed about trans issues, a lot of which I already knew due to my time lurking these forums for so long And in what seemed like nowhere near an hour and a half the session was over.
My schedule is terrible due to working nights but I made an appointment for two weeks from now. I can't wait. I like her, she's nice and smart and perceptive and didn't react at all to all these huge things I said and was so worried about saying. If everyone responded as maturely as she did to this kind of information then coming out of the closet would be easy peasy It's still way too early to guess what I might end up doing or handling my issues but I'm happy just that I managed to vet them all out in the open

Yay! Congrats!

It's really all downhill after the first session for a lot of us. 

Amy,  I'm right there with you, I just had my first, 2 days ago, and it went very well. I'm very happy for you and hope it all works out the way you want!

Hugs, Stanna

Congratulations, what a difference a single day can make in your life.

I usually spend a lot of time between sessions going over things and working out what I want to talk about in the next one. I make notes so I don't forget things, its so easy to do that when you get there and start talking.

Amy, congrats on taking this big first step!
It is good to hear that it went great for you, and I hope everything works out well eventually as you want it to.

I was very scared too about my first session with a therapist nearly two months ago, but I had to talk to her as I was otherwise screwing up my mental and emotional health. She does not even specialize in gender issues, but she has taken everything that I've said very calmly, with no adverse reaction or prejudice, and has in fact helped me believe more in myself by telling me that I do not owe an explanation to anyone for who I am.

Hi Amy that first session is the start of the rest of your life. mine has led to a very large change in my life and so far more acceptance from friends and family than I could have ever dreamed of . Hugs Anita

Hi Amy,
Im not to far ahead of you. I have only been going to a therapist for three sessions. It was very hard at first. But after that first time. It seems to be aomething i needed and look foward to. I keep a journal on topics I want to talk about. She also gives homework topics and ideas to think about during the week between sessions. Congrats on your first session.
Ashley

Never ever hide anything or be afraid to tell a therapist about yourself. They've heard it all and you have done nothing wrong. You are there to get help. They WANT to help you.

I had to see a therapist recently about a breakup in my relationship. I didn't think my trans status had anything to do with it, after all, it has been 25 years. But it was the first thing I told her. I said "I know it's going to come up, so I may as well open with this: I am a trans woman."  I used to say "transsexual." I am so happy someone came up with a better word than that!

In any case, what you did was brave. I know it was probably the hardest thing you've ever done in your life. There will be others. But life is filled with adventure and every problem solved gives us great character and experience. Be of good cheer. You deserve it.

Chin up and all of that,
Cindi

Chin up!
Cindi

Awesome job keeping your courage up and showing up for the first appointment - it felt good to finally be able to spill your guts after all of these years,  didn't it? 

As others have said - always be truthful with your therapist - that's the only way that she is going to be able to help you. It also sounds like you've got a very smart therapist so if you do like I did and try to skate your way through difficult questions be prepared for your therapist to call BS on you 

The time goes by in a flash; i would come in with a list of topics I wanted to cover and within 5 minutes we were off discussing things that weren't even on my list LOL...... and then the time would suddenly be up.

When my therapy came to an end I realized just how much I had enjoyed those sessions because I actually kind of missed going to them 

Quote from: Eva Marie on March 04, 2015, 08:38:28 PM
Awesome job keeping your courage up and showing up for the first appointment - it felt good to finally be able to spill your guts after all of these years,  didn't it? 

As others have said - always be truthful with your therapist - that's the only way that she is going to be able to help you. It also sounds like you've got a very smart therapist so if you do like I did and try to skate your way through difficult questions be prepared for your therapist to call BS on you 

The time goes by in a flash; i would come in with a list of topics I wanted to cover and within 5 minutes we were off discussing things that weren't even on my list LOL...... and then the time would suddenly be up.

When my therapy came to an end I realized just how much I had enjoyed those sessions because I actually kind of missed going to them 

Yes it did feel good to get all that stuff off my chest, and to a therapist, who can help me move forward if that's what I end up wanting to do, too

And time did seem to go by quickly. It was an hour and a half for an initial visit but it didn't even feel like 45 minutes had gone by. After years of repressing these feelings it feels amazing to be finally adressing them. I feel like I want more sessions more often than I can afford so I am having to exercise some patience there Next appointment is in 8 days and 6 hours ^_^ I'm wanting to talk about the issue of being totally honest with my girlfriend about my gender issues and how they are the cause of so much other issues I've had in my life, but I'm actually considering coming out to her before my next therapy session and then using the session to help me deal with how it goes (I'm anticipating a rocky future for my girlfriend and me once I tell her).

       Amy, If you have come out to your gf, I hope it went well. Believe it or not, I came out to my wife on valentines day, needless to say I took her by complete surprise. Thankfully she is completely fine and happy with the revelation. But damn it was hard to get the courage to talk to her about it. I hope you find or found the courage to talk to your girlfriend, you may just find she will be your biggest supporter.
    I hope everything works out for you Amy. Keep us posted.


    Hugs,    Stanna

Quote from: Amy85 on March 05, 2015, 02:41:57 AM
Yes it did feel good to get all that stuff off my chest, and to a therapist, who can help me move forward if that's what I end up wanting to do, too

And time did seem to go by quickly. It was an hour and a half for an initial visit but it didn't even feel like 45 minutes had gone by. After years of repressing these feelings it feels amazing to be finally adressing them. I feel like I want more sessions more often than I can afford so I am having to exercise some patience there Next appointment is in 8 days and 6 hours ^_^ I'm wanting to talk about the issue of being totally honest with my girlfriend about my gender issues and how they are the cause of so much other issues I've had in my life, but I'm actually considering coming out to her before my next therapy session and then using the session to help me deal with how it goes (I'm anticipating a rocky future for my girlfriend and me once I tell her).

I really like the idea of chatting with your therapist prior to coming out to your GF. Once things have been said you can't take them back so it's good to exercise restraint and discretion with these kind of talks. A word of caution - you have lived with this for your entire life and your GF has not - you must resist the urge to dump it all out on her at once - it will overwhelm her.

Quote from: Eva Marie on March 07, 2015, 12:22:50 PM
I really like the idea of chatting with your therapist prior to coming out to your GF. Once things have been said you can't take them back so it's good to exercise restraint and discretion with these kind of talks. A word of caution - you have lived with this for your entire life and your GF has not - you must resist the urge to dump it all out on her at once - it will overwhelm her.

That's good advice... I've been thinking about the conversation in my head and my instinct is to try and explain everything to her in some sort of specific order that will make her understand everything but perhaps I should take it slow ànd pick some things to say to her and let her digest that and ask me questions before explaining more.

Quote from: Amy85 on March 07, 2015, 05:00:26 PM
...perhaps I should take it slow ànd pick some things to say to her and let her digest that and ask me questions before explaining more.

That's a good point. When people hear bad news, they tend to stop listening and focus on the bit that bothered them. If you keep talking at that point, sometimes they can't even hear what you're saying.

I think its kind of like hearing "we've eliminated your position". After that, you can see their mouth moving, but all you can hear is "you're fired"...

Congrats on finding a therapist that you can work and relate with.  As for coming out to your GF before your next appointment, I would suggest waiting and speaking about this with your therapist first.  Then if you want to proceed, make an appointment with your therapist for a day or two after you come out to her.  This will then give you the safety net of being able to speak with the therapist, and gives you insight into how to handle it going in.

Well I had my second therapy session today, and it was good and I came from it feeling more prepared to finally talk to my girlfriend about my issues. I almost came out to her last weekend but couldn't find the words/courage so she knows that I want to discuss the reason I'm in therapy and I'm worried it will push her away, but that's it so far. I've decided that I want to set the goal for myself to have the talk with her before my next session which is in about a week and a half. I might be able to do it tonight when she comes over or it might be the night before the next session but I want to get over that hurdle and I think setting a deadline will help me make myself do it. The therapist liked the idea of starting slow and talking point by point and letting her take in the info at her own pace, and suggested that I start with the one that she will take the least hard which I think would be that I have been crossdressing in private for years. A boyfriend who has crossdressed is a lot less serious than a boyfriend who is seriously considering transitioning to a woman...

Amy, sounds like you are getting what you need from therapy, which is great. I started about the same time as you, and I am getting the support and the guidance I need to figure out myself and what steps to take next. 
I know you will find the courage and the words when it comes time for you to come out to your girlfriend. I wish you the best.

  Hugs, Stanna