Before I head out from work, I wanted to offer some good and positive news for anyone who'd like to hear a wonderful story:
So I was at my therapy session last night, having had a very rough last few days. Last weeks session was cancelled, and then a whole host of events triggered anxiety and depression...followed by me getting my first ever dysphoric experience with my plumbing. I was such a hot mess I couldn't function at work at all. Luckily, being a planning engineer, I set myself up to have little to do so I could leave early for therapy.
Anywho...
I was shaking and miserable the whole drive and the start of the session. I told everything g that had happened to cause my insecurities (I normally don't have many of these)...and suddenly...I started to tear up and feel my chest get really heavy.
And I could barely breathe.
And it got worse.
And worse.
And worse.
And the room felt really small....
And then...
...I gave in and let myself cry.
For the first time EVER in my lIfe...I overrode the T in my veins and cried.
And I ceased to have control over myself - my will became subverted to my subconscious.
And I cried harder and louder than I'd ever heard anyone do so.
And the best part?
?
I sounded like a girl!!!!!!!!!! I got to see right into my soul, bare and vulnerable...and pure and unbelievably and undeniably me...and 100 % female on the inside.
When I finally finished, I felt so good, so incredible that I've been beaming ever since.
I have zero doubts that I am forever on this correct path for me now.
I feel beautiful and whole finally.
Now to get my body caught up to the soul.
