Quote from: Abysha on March 08, 2015, 07:11:10 PM
I'm not replying to harp on you. It's obvious that your words stirred up some anger in a few members and understandably so. I just wanted to explain to you another way of looking at it.
There are many women (and men) who make a transition for their own sanity and have no interest in identifying with trans culture. Some transwomen, for example, don't allow themselves to be called "trans" and insist on simply being a woman. I personally have a hard time labeling myself that way because I view myself as a woman with a bad hormone imbalance and a phallic growth hiding my vagina. Those of us like that just want to find our comfort zone and move past the experience so we can enjoy the remainder of our lives. I have no idea how far I'll go with my transition (just finally saw a gender therapist last week and am pre-everything) but I already know I don't see myself as anything other than a girl who needs to fix her body. So "hiding" or coming out at different paces than yours isn't "cowardly" at all. Not all of us can be champions of the cause just because we are victims of it. Some of us aren't in the position to do so.
When I used coward it was for the fact that this member was describing this person who decided to live until the time is right as a male and then go live as a stealth "cis" woman after, when the time is right: Quit job, FFS, Voice surgery, SRS, breast augmentation, body feminization (+recovery time) ... follow by change of documents, relocation to a different area/city/country, and live stealth and happily ever after. That's it. I am not against people being stealth, I might be stealth too if possible, that's not the problem to me, when I said that, which I understand now that it might have been harsh, even though I didn't mean that way. Though, I do think that someone that needs to complete their transition like that and live completely as male during your transition, is a little weird, and that's why I said that a therapist might look at that weirdly. I am not one though, so that's just my opinion. You can come out whenever you want to, it's not like you need a gold star from me or something for doing it as soon as possible, actually I think that coming out later is easier when you are transitioning already, I just said that living your life as your truly self only after all those surgeries seems problematic to me, and I don't think it's a good example, because not everyone can afford all those things, and if that was the only way then it would be crazy. I mean after you have reached a point that you are passing already, let's say after ffs, why do you need to still live your life as a male? You really don't need to go do srs before even going part-time. That seems to me to be a big stretch than just being comfortable, maybe you have some other problem with yourself that you need all those confirmations surgeries before it, but this it just my opinion. Adding to this, I was not judging any member of the forum I always talked using the plural and I think I used genderless pronouns, etc... Because of this person this member of the forum was describing, which I think it's not herself, so that's it. I don't think you're a coward if you don't live your life as a trans activist neither, that wasn't the point, actually even just being alive and well, and being happy is a great thing for our community.
