For anyone crossing the divide, mtf or ftm there are certain social rules which must be followed in different scenarios. Please allow me to launch a thread which hopefully will grow and pre-arm us for some of the hazards that lie ahead as we jump ship. For newbie males therefore some departing advice as I slip into the niche you plan to leave behind.
If you are meeting up with your male friends (mates, buddies...not boyfriends!) for food and drink there are some basic rules.
Firstly, even if you haven't seen one of your friends for years and really pleased to see them, you DO NOT smile, hug and stuff like that. Hell no! A fairly meaty punch to the shoulder followed by, "Where have you been hiding you ugly _________" (insert expletive of choice).
Next the choice of food must be male appropriate. In Scotland that's curry. The end. At a push you may get away with going for outrageously hot Mexican food. Most certainly not Italian though! You may as well all wear T shirts that say "Girls night out."
As you eat your selected "Lava" (the hotter the better) it is important to discuss the effect it will probably have the next day on your "digestive performance". Should you actually be compelled to leave the table during the meal to execute a bodily function it is deemed common courtesy on your return to give at least a brief description of your recent emergency evacuation. (Hand wafting and pained expression is usually well received).
When the bill comes you divide the cost per head, and that's it. None of this, "you had a starter but he didn't have a dessert and I had one less drink blah blah blah." (And you shouldn't be having one less drink anyway!)
When it comes to the tip it is absolutely nothing to do with the service. Good God no. It's the size of the waitresses boobs that determine the gratuity. (If it's a waiter then 10% and no eye contact whatsoever.)
Hope some time in the future this advice proves to be useful and others will share some Transition 101 essentials.
