QuoteDear mom and dad, I know what you're about to read may be hard but this is how I've felt since about eleven.


   When I was about eleven I realized I wasn't like other boys, I wondered "why am I not a girl?", at first I thought these feelings were wrong, so I wore a mask to shield me from them, to make me appear a boy (sometimes acting over masculine). I was afraid, afraid of social rejection, I just wanted to fit in, I thought maybe these feelings would go away, maybe it was just a phase.

   The mask worked well but as I grew older there were still the thoughts of a girl and it got harder to contain these feelings, all these questions but no answers, for years I felt depressed and angry because I thought I was weird and that I needed to keep to myself and close out the world. I never truly felt like I was in the right body, like I had the right software but the wrong hardware. I realize at this point you might have all sorts of questions and feelings so after you finish reading this it would be best to talk, I just needed to explain that I don't feel right in this body.

   I felt depressed until about February 2015 when I found www.susans.org, a website for transgender teens/adults to talk about their life, you may recall me asking about your opinion of transgender people, your answer made me so happy, but I was still worried, "What if they don't understand?", "What if they don't like my decisions?", so many what ifs. I've kept these feelings bottled up for about five years, so many painful, awkward, different, angry, sad, and depressing feelings. The reason I am always so angry is because I am in pain and confusion with my body. One day I hope to see a gender therapist. I am just as confused about this as you are, I just hope that you can accept me for who I am.


Your loving Child.