My dad has stopped talking to me since January since I gave him the coming out letter. Just stopped cold turkey. Not even a "I don't accept you" or anything. He just didn't reply, doesn't reply to any communications and doesn't answer the phone. My mom on the other hand fully accepts me as her daughter (yes, she used that word.) They are very much divorced and don't talk to each other.

April 7 is his birthday.

I want to send him a card wishing him happy birthday and also a reminder that I am thinking of him and he can talk to me at anytime.

I was thinking of something like:

Hey Dad -

Just thinking of you on your birthday. I hope all is well and I would love to chat with you sometime. May you have continued health and strength and remember I am always there for you.

Love, your daughter,  <name>

Thoughts?

 *hugs*
you could have a look here for a few thoughts:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,184920.msg1644403.html#msg1644403

Pflag recommends to write letters and small reminders... they say some people eventually come around...

I personally think its good...
you might think about the your daughter, and just use your female name...


hugs

Quote from: Laura_7 on April 01, 2015, 09:07:17 AM

I personally think its good...
you might think about the your daughter, and just use your female name...


hugs

Thanks.

I was debating that as well. My therapist said not to use that word in the coming out letter as well. I see her Friday I could ask as well.

I don't think putting your female name will help him come around or want to talk to you, for now. You can't just drop the bomb and expect people to be completely accepting. I know it's hard as it can be SO awkward to talk about these feelings, but you have to. Telling your father you are his daughter won't necessarily help until he really knows what you feel and why you feel this way. Just write the letter and put no name on it at all, and reassure him that you're fine and if he wishes to talk, you'll hear him with an open heart. That is what I would do.

Quote from: Auroramarianna on April 01, 2015, 09:18:23 AM
I don't think putting your female name will help him come around or want to talk to you, for now. You can't just drop the bomb and expect people to be completely accepting. I know it's hard as it can be SO awkward to talk about these feelings, but you have to. Telling your father you are his daughter won't necessarily help until he really knows what you feel and why you feel this way. Just write the letter and put no name on it at all, and reassure him that you're fine and if he wishes to talk, you'll hear him with an open heart. That is what I would do.

He already has a coming out letter with my male name, actually. It was drafted with the help of my therapist, based on her blog post.. Bomb has already been dropped.

This is a birthday card. It's more of a reminder of, "hey I'm still here, dad!" rather than, "hey dad I'm trans!"

I would skip the "your daughter" part too.  Just tell him you are thinking of him and hope he has a great birthday, etc. Then do as the others say and sign your female name. Just be as normal as possible about it without beating him over the head. Pushing too hard usually causes blowback.

I am debating it in my head, and I think I will just sign "R" like I sometimes do, especially at work. Both male and female names start with R.

Quote from: ImagineKate on April 01, 2015, 11:53:09 AM
I am debating it in my head, and I think I will just sign "R" like I sometimes do, especially at work. Both male and female names start with R.

I would go with this.  In my experience, it's generally not a good idea to force anything with people who are hyper-resistant to our transformation.  Your first goal is to get him talking to you again, so just taking things slow and being nice will hopefully soften him up.  This approach has always worked for me.

Card is in the mail.

I used my male name. No sense foisting the trans thing on him. This is just an ice breaker.

Said that we miss him including the kids. No mention of anything trans.

My therapist said don't expect anything. I will have to agree with her. So I didn't spend a lot of money, 99c card, and a first class international stamp.

That should be fine. These things are tough, aren't they? My mom's birthday is tomorrow, too.

Hugs, Devlyn