Right now I'm mere weeks away from being out to anyone left who doesn't know about my transition and also my upcoming FFS surgery. Recently it finally started to sink in and it's been causing one a lot of anxiety.

  I found inspiration in something my grandmother said recently.  She's over 100 years old and after a recent sequence of fall accidents and difficult hospitalization has now had to move permanently into a nursing home.  This has been very emotionally difficult for her because she still has most of her wits about her and also because this is one situation you can't just get through and leave behind.  It's truly her final life chapter.

  She mentioned a quote from the well-known actor John Wayne that was posted on one of the walls of the facility.  It reads, "Courage is being scared to death but saddling up anyway."  I don't know if this was actually spoken in a film or in what context but the sentiment is what counts.  I've decided this and my grandmother's struggle are exactly what I needed to keep in mind during this time in my life.

  As such I've changed my avatar and captions to remind me of these things when I need them most as I struggle to cope over the next two to three months.  Although primarily for my own benefit you are welcome to find your own inspiration in any of it.

  I'm wondering, in your transitions or otherwise, what is it that kept you going through your most-challenging times?  As the coming weeks progress I'm going to need all the inspiration I can get!

When I was a kid, my step dad used to say I was "as stubborn as a mule" (he was of the old-school west, farms, cattle drives, cowboys, etc).

I suppose I was...and it's stayed with me throughout my life. Knock me down, I get back up. Maybe not immediately, but I know I *will* get back up.

Just you wait 'n see, pahd'na.

Supportive colleagues, and goth music  (~:

Tomorrow is another day....

(Then take melatonin and maybe wine).

Metal!

\m/ (-|-) \m/

mostly just meeting so many others ( I help my girl friend with her family assistance assignment ) with life ending issues and realizing that I am past that and in some sort early stage of a renewed life

Here.

Group, therapy, Susan's,  the gym and supportive co-workers.

A co-worker said to me today, "how many people here have you come out to at work"? I said a lot. He said, "How many were supportive"? I said  all. He then asked why do you dwell on negatives on fully coming out at work some much. I just looked at him. He asks good questions.

Hi Violet Bloom,

This right here is a really good start.  Hmmm, tough times/aka tough question.  The only thing I've known has been tough times so it is built in/survival, 30+ years addiction and homelessness etc,, etc., I've always just had to land on my feet.  Now one would think hey problem solved, well not quite, as transition has replaced emotion instead of what was there before, putting new problems in a brand new light (a warm one I might add).  I read alot of stuff here, take some, leave the rest and let my garden do the rest.   Dani

In a word prayer.  Back then I wasn't always sure just who it was I was praying to, but it worked.

Wine. Lots of wine. Alcohol isnt the answer, but it helps us forget the question. Though thats prob not the best solution here. I miss my grandparents all the time. Spend as much time with her as you can.

So far in transition punk music has been a go to, Riot Grrrl to be specific.

Pre transition, to get to transition, I did a lot of solitary walks. Extremely long, quiet, meditative walks. 10-30 miles or 3-12 hours at once. That got me to love and respect some parts of my body. It also helped me to respect myself and to know myself. It also offered me the space to be in a genderless yet beautiful world. To apreciate the world and see that there is love. Love for me to recieve, that I was worthy of, and love for me to give.

       Kellam, Congratulations on the first day of the rest of your life,may it be a happy and prosperous one.
 
       To answer the question,my faith in God and training in the military.Faith gives me strength when I need it and my training gives me the resolve NEVER to give up.   Patty

  Thanks for your responses everyone.  I really appreciate it!  Keep coming with your stories.

God has kept me all these years and continues do  so.

I had a mantra.

I am Cindy, I am strong. I will walk my path. I will not cry and I will win.

And I did

I don't really know how to give up but in times of sadness, it's chocolate, music and close friends.

Anything to occupy myself from listening to music, watching movies, reading books and lots of work.
Mariah

Quote from: stephaniec on April 02, 2015, 02:18:20 AM
God has kept me all these years and continues do  so.

Amen.

Plus my kids and my mom.   

Quote from: Violet Bloom on April 01, 2015, 10:52:42 AM

  She mentioned a quote from the well-known actor John Wayne that was posted on one of the walls of the facility.  It reads, "Courage is being scared to death but saddling up anyway."  I don't know if this was actually spoken in a film or in what context but the sentiment is what counts.  I've decided this and my grandmother's struggle are exactly what I needed to keep in mind during this time in my life.

Well, whether The Duke actually used the line or not is a little matter. The sentiment is what counts. For me it rings very true. Call it "Leaving your Comfort Zone", "Pushing the Envelope" or my old fav, "You don't get any better unless you go Gear-Banging with the Big Boys", it all boils down to taking a chance. Facing your Fears, head on. Proving to yourself you can Face Them.

The result of facing those fears is also of little matter. What counts is you Learned. Learned what works, what didn't. Especially learned You Can Do It