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Getting / Keeping a job while trans?

Started by Bleeps and Bloops, April 08, 2015, 10:35:47 PM

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Bleeps and Bloops

It shouldn't be long now until I have the option of going on hormones and I still have a many as 6 months before I can start.

Thing is, I'm scared about being trans where I live. I'm from a fairly small town in AL and, if the topic is ever brought up, trans people are not regarded very highly to say the least. I'm not sure if I'll be able to get or keep a job as a trans person where I live. I've had significant difficulty getting a job as is and looking for one as a transwoman seems like a fruitless endeavor which may make it impossible for me to support myself once I do start transitioning.

Does anyone have any experience with this sort of issue? It may be an excessively long time before I get to move to somewhere more accepting than here and I can't wait that long.
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ana1111

I was actually just thinking about this... I have been transitioning since 17 and 19 now been on hormones for a year and I still have never had a job and am terrified of really looking and going on interviews and such...I don't really know what im gunna do but it seems a lot of trans women either have jobs as males or had jobs as males and transition at work or they are some type of sex worker...
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Bleeps and Bloops

Quote from: Annabolton on April 08, 2015, 11:22:54 PM
I was actually just thinking about this... I have been transitioning since 17 and 19 now been on hormones for a year and I still have never had a job and am terrified of really looking and going on interviews and such...I don't really know what im gunna do but it seems a lot of trans women either have jobs as males or had jobs as males and transition at work or they are some type of sex worker...

I find a lot of the same stuff you do, in that case. I'm in an awkward position where it looks like I'll have to transition in the public eye while working an average, minimum wage job
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Ms Grace

Hi!

Welcome to Susan's  :)  Great to have you here - looking forward to seeing you around the forum.

I'm not sure which direction you're going (m2f or f2m) but physical changes on m2f HRT doesn't happen in a drastically noticeable way so depending on your transition intentions you might still be able to present as "male" for up to a year. f2m is a different story as the testosterone might make for some more obvious changes sooner. At any rate, maybe use that time and the time before you start as an opportunity to start scoping out potential new employment options.

Please check out the following links for site rules, helpful tips and other info...


Cheers

Grace
Grace
----------------------------------------------
Transition 1.0 (Julie): HRT 1989-91
Self-denial: 1991-2013
Transition 2.0 (Grace): HRT June 24 2013
Full-time: March 24, 2014 :D
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iKate

Quote from: Annabolton on April 08, 2015, 11:22:54 PM
I was actually just thinking about this... I have been transitioning since 17 and 19 now been on hormones for a year and I still have never had a job and am terrified of really looking and going on interviews and such...I don't really know what im gunna do but it seems a lot of trans women either have jobs as males or had jobs as males and transition at work or they are some type of sex worker...

Well, it depends on how good you are. Lynn Conway was fired from IBM, took time off to transition then started completely fresh and lived stealth meaning no one in her new employer knew she was trans. If you're looking for something entry level then yeah passing is a must but you don't seem to have issues in that dept tbh.
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emyrinth

I work in a progressive teaching hospital in Virginia so I really don't have much to add but most tech companies and major corporations take the EEOC's view that gender identity classifies as sex and therefore its protected but for anything smaller than fortune 500 you would need to consult HR depts... even knowing my hospital was progressive that scared the poo out of me. Fortunately my supervisor is awesome.
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FTMax

I work in a progressive city (DC) in a conservative field (business consulting). I had worked in my office for over a year before I brought up that I was trans and was planning to transition. No one has had any issues with it.

My recommendation would be to look for a job somewhere that has a national presence, even if it means you're working in fast food or big box retail. Get some experience, make friends, be friendly with your supervisors, and once you're on hormones and struggling to pass as your birth gender, talk to HR about anti-discrimination policies and changing your employee documents.
T: 12/5/2014 | Top: 4/21/2015 | Hysto: 2/6/2016 | Meta: 3/21/2017

I don't come here anymore, so if you need to get in touch send an email: maxdoeswork AT protonmail.com
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Bleeps and Bloops

Quote from: Ms Grace on April 09, 2015, 07:26:40 AM

I'm not sure which direction you're going (m2f or f2m) but physical changes on m2f HRT doesn't happen in a drastically noticeable way so depending on your transition intentions you might still be able to present as "male" for up to a year. f2m is a different story as the testosterone might make for some more obvious changes sooner. At any rate, maybe use that time and the time before you start as an opportunity to start scoping out potential new employment options.


I'm actually mtf, should've mentioned. I've heard a lot of talk about people remaining undercover for a year or longer, but also I've heard a lot of talk about how it varies a lot. A few people mentioned how breast growth can be difficult to hide even at month 3 or so, so how does one manage that (particularly in the warmer months)? I have heard of people getting away with wearing sports bras and with a smaller bra on it's kinda difficult to tell through my shirt unless I'm really pushing them out there but It still kinda looks like I've got breasts. I guess my main problem is hiding it from my mother while I still live with her since she WILL NOT be accepting and (even if she might not kick me out outright) wouldn't allow it to happen under her roof. I think I'll just wait until my plans to move out with my brother and his fiance are a little more concrete just to be safe.

Quote from: iKate on April 09, 2015, 07:58:00 AM
Well, it depends on how good you are. Lynn Conway was fired from IBM, took time off to transition then started completely fresh and lived stealth meaning no one in her new employer knew she was trans. If you're looking for something entry level then yeah passing is a must but you don't seem to have issues in that dept tbh.

It seems like, even if I CAN pass well enough there is just too much documentation to be done to get a job and my employer will HAVE to find out somehow. Especially where my ID and SS are concerned since I believe they are fairly difficult to change in AL and that's all before even considering any previous work experience or references I list. I know you weren't responding to me, I just feel like what you're saying is kinda unlikely (in my case, at least). Even If I can nail voice and mannerisms pretty well somethings gotta give if I'm around those people for hours a day in ugy, unisex work clothes with my hair up and out of the way, and with a much larger than average female body. I mean, stealth is kind of impossible for me in that situation and I'd imagine it would be for most
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JoanneB

You are in the driver's seat.

In my case, I've been on HRT for about 5 years now, got a for real B cup, still primarily present male, and for most of those 5 years lived in rural WV. I still present male because I need to. Luckily, I do not need to transition... well, today at least.

My second biggest concern if/when the day arrives I go full-time is keeping my job. I've been a "key" and "invaluable" employee in several small companies. I've also been in upper management. Nevertheless, if "They" want to get of you, they will. Even if makes no sense to. Even where I am now, living in state where I have protections if I did, only a totally brain dead PHB would terminate me and put into writing, or otherwise, the reason as me being trans. Within 6 months to a years time I need to be ready for being fired.

Best plan of action is to keep on doing positive things for yourself. Keep your eye on the prize, know that most transitions take time and especially lots of $$$$$. Save up all you can. Learn all you can with this job. Unless you totally love the area and lifestyle where you are, plan on relocating, starting over, and going hungry for a while looking for work as you live on your savings.

Or, just maybe you don't know absolutely for sure yet what path to take. In that case time is your friend. (BTW - I twice "experimented" with transitioning in my early twenties. Made a lot of changes in my early 50's).
.          (Pile Driver)  
                    |
                    |
                    ^
(ROCK) ---> ME <--- (HARD PLACE)
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Bleeps and Bloops

Quote from: JoanneB on April 09, 2015, 06:12:29 PM
You are in the driver's seat.

In my case, I've been on HRT for about 5 years now, got a for real B cup, still primarily present male, and for most of those 5 years lived in rural WV. I still present male because I need to. Luckily, I do not need to transition... well, today at least.


Again, how are people hiding boobs like that? I mean I know they're small it just seems like it'd be difficult and also possibly damaging to them. I don't want to keep waiting. I'm still only 20 going 21 in a couple days. I feel like I have potential to make a good difference even if reading about HRT from people here has basically convinced me it does nothing
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Lady Smith

Quote from: Bleeps and Bloops on April 09, 2015, 08:23:47 PM
Again, how are people hiding boobs like that? I mean I know they're small it just seems like it'd be difficult and also possibly damaging to them. I don't want to keep waiting. I'm still only 20 going 21 in a couple days. I feel like I have potential to make a good difference even if reading about HRT from people here has basically convinced me it does nothing

Don't you believe it, HRT will cause very profound changes.  Putting it simply HRT is for much more than growing breasts even though chest watching has always been a keen first year activity among Mtfs who are prescribed hormones.  HRT will change your metabolism, the way you think, your moods, your emotions.  Your skin will become softer and finer, parts of your body that had no sensitivity at all will start to wake up and I'm not just talking about the obvious bits either.  Your hair will become nicer...... the list goes on.  HRT is not a magic pill that will suddenly make you look like society's perfect idea of womanhood, but it will help considerably with making you feel more like yourself and it will stop your body's own hormone system beating you up and making you feel miserable.

My job at one time used to be helping folk with disabilities find employment (I am not saying you are disabled btw).  And what helps most with finding your dream job is having some kind of work history behind you.  If you can't find an entry level job right off, then look at doing voluntary work in your community.  In my experience most jobs in small towns don't get advertised because everything happens on the local network of people knowing one another.  Make yourself visible, be willing to put some effort in and somebody will start to notice.

It's hard to know how fast breast growth might happen or the cup size you'll end up with as everything depends on genetics.  I come from a long line of flat chested Irish and English women so I didn't end up with much, but my daughter with her influx of Norwegian and Russian genes that I don't have has a much larger cup size than me.  Wearing sports bras is a good idea when you're working as they will help with hiding what you've got away under loose clothing as well as offer some protection.
The clothing provided for most entry level jobs isn't exactly a great fashion statement for anybody be they male or female so I wouldn't worry about it too much.  Trying to get a job with an employer who has good workplace protection standards is a very good idea.  I think someone else has already suggested this.  While you're working you can quietly get on with growing your hair and letting your HRT progressively work its miracles.  Most probably it will take two years for you to settle into making a transition so keep your head down and make yourself indispensable.
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Bleeps and Bloops

Quote from: Lady Smith on April 09, 2015, 09:53:46 PM
While you're working you can quietly get on with growing your hair and letting your HRT progressively work its miracles.  Most probably it will take two years for you to settle into making a transition so keep your head down and make yourself indispensable.

Yeah, that's the problem. Wearing a wig to work just seems like it'd get kinda crazy to have to put up with maintenance after being sweaty / under a hat and I really don't think I can ever hope to have feminine hair no matter what I do. I'm not saying I've tried everything but I am saying my hair is coarse as hell, grows straight up and curls, grows on the sides in a freakish way, refuses to be straight at all unless it's really greasy and I use a straightener, and under no real circumstance does it look even remotely female unless by just a trick of photography . I really hate it and have since I was a kid.
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Lady Smith

Well hopefully HRT will do nice things to your hair for you.  I know mine is different to how it was not counting the fact that my hair is grey now.
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JoanneB

Quote from: Bleeps and Bloops on April 09, 2015, 08:23:47 PM
Again, how are people hiding boobs like that? I mean I know they're small it just seems like it'd be difficult and also possibly damaging to them. I don't want to keep waiting. I'm still only 20 going 21 in a couple days. I feel like I have potential to make a good difference even if reading about HRT from people here has basically convinced me it does nothing
It's relatively easy in my case. I always wore looser fitting clothes, a poor body image thing from my youth and far far fatter days weighing a good 100lbs more. I don't bind or otherwise minimize them. THe girls are a bit "walled eyed" so w/o a bra they are not too prominent. Sure I know they are there, but you really got to be looking for them. A very full B to C would likely be a different story.

YMMV
.          (Pile Driver)  
                    |
                    |
                    ^
(ROCK) ---> ME <--- (HARD PLACE)
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Echo Eve

Interesting discussion. While it is a fear of mine, I guess I can put up with (though not tolerate) general prejudice against my being trans. But when it comes to employment, it's quite a different story. Especially for those who can't go stealth (like me, most likely) and will therefore not necessarily be accepted as female by certain workplaces. I'm such a private person who doesn't really like a lot of attention, so the workplace could be challenging for me. Of course, there's the possibility of work drying up all together, or losing your job.

It's all well and good that TG communities are becoming more visible and accepted. But in my experience, while people are all feelgood publicly, it's a different story when it comes to interacting or sharing personal space with trans people. And I'm not even talking about employers or the general population here, but rather family and friends!

Prejudice is insidious; you'll never really know why you lost or didn't secure that job you wanted. Even the most equitable employment legislative safeguards can't protect us from personal prejudice and bigotry. Massive, glacial cultural shifts have always been required before this is more or less stamped out. Will there ever be a time when difference doesn't generate fear, suspicion and hatred?

It would be good to hear some personal employment and job searching stories that people have experienced during any stage of their transition.
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iKate

Quote from: Bleeps and Bloops on April 09, 2015, 05:04:23 PM

It seems like, even if I CAN pass well enough there is just too much documentation to be done to get a job and my employer will HAVE to find out somehow. Especially where my ID and SS are concerned since I believe they are fairly difficult to change in AL and that's all before even considering any previous work experience or references I list. I know you weren't responding to me, I just feel like what you're saying is kinda unlikely (in my case, at least). Even If I can nail voice and mannerisms pretty well somethings gotta give if I'm around those people for hours a day in ugy, unisex work clothes with my hair up and out of the way, and with a much larger than average female body. I mean, stealth is kind of impossible for me in that situation and I'd imagine it would be for most

Well you never know. I work for an employer that nobody in a million years would ever consider "progressive." My employer has been extremely accommodating and they have a strong non discrimination policy. Of course it helps that I work in New York City but NY state has zero protections against transgender employees. There is a city law but i don't know how strong it is. So this is pretty much the company culture to stand against discrimination.

I have found that politics matters little as democrats like Barney Frank have thrown us under the bus, and the Bible Belt republicans (and democrats) are of course against us. Ultimately you need people who stand for freedom and equality and not religion and power.

Today employers are embracing diversity. So you never know. It IS getting better and I can attest to that.
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Bleeps and Bloops

Quote from: iKate on April 10, 2015, 08:52:50 PM
Today employers are embracing diversity. So you never know. It IS getting better and I can attest to that.

Living here I've met about 3 black people, a handful of Mexicans, a half asian, and no other races besides native Americans. Being openly gay is unheard of for teenagers (even if everyone knows, it's still not something they admit directly, it's just a rumor that's spread) and rare for adults. There's WAY more diversity in one square mile of the most homogenous part of NY than in the entire town I went to school in. I don't think people from here have even ever heard of trans people  :P 
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Rachel

I work for a large teaching and research Hospital in Philadelphia PA.

We have a LGBT policy at work. My boss is misogynistic and bigoted. So when I told him I was trans and starting HRT 22 months ago I thought I would be fired for one reason or another. I was promoted.

My boss, HR and Senior management are really trying to be supportive.
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