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how often if ever have you encountered any level of hostility for being trans

Started by stephaniec, April 13, 2015, 04:35:54 PM

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Ashey

Only from a few people, and only online, but it never got to me. My brother-in-law used to be vocally against my transition before I started, but wasn't exactly hostile about it, just rude. He's mellowed though, now that he's seen that I'm passable and happier.
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Wednesday

Quote from: Jayne on April 15, 2015, 11:16:25 AM
The group of girls trailed me three quarters of the way home

Hugs Jayne. This kind of things piss me off a lot. What a bunch of idiots, thought Bristol was a cool place.
"Witches were a bit like cats" - Terry Pratchett
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Lady Smith

Quote from: Jayne on April 15, 2015, 11:16:25 AM
The group of girls trailed me three quarters of the way home shouting abuse, when I got home my last shred of self control abandoned me & I spent the next hour cuddling my dog crying.


>>>>HUGS<<<< Jayne.  That is just plain awful and my heart goes out to you. Once I had something similar happen in my second year of being ME and I told the girls involved that I hoped that when they have children they have one like me.  A backhanded kind of statement for me to make to be sure, but it did make them look thoughtful for a moment or two.
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Nicole

For being trans - no
For being me? yes

School was hell, I was bullied because I wasn't like every other boy, they thought I was gay, I wasn't, they thought I acted like a girl, well..... maybe I held myself like a girl.


After coming out & moving, never had a single issue for being trans, not many know but its never been used against me in anyway.
Like Steph, live in a big city and no one really cares
Yes! I'm single
And you'll have to be pretty f'ing amazing to change that
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Sammy

My experiences are kinda similar - school was unpleasant experience, even when I learned to stand my ground. Later, I learned that a lot of my classmates thought that I was gay, though I never gave them reasons for that (apparently hanging out with girls and refusing to get naked in locker room was enough).

Now, I am not experiencing any outward hostility, because people here have little understanding about transgender people, so they are either confused or curious (did have my share of stares but very few of them very hostile). Now, people in most cases just assume that I am female, which brings a different type of issues, like drunken guys willing to strike up a conversation, refusing to take "no" for an answer and becoming hostile in response.
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LizMarie

In public so far, among strangers, nothing really bad. A few questioning looks but those came when I was in the company of other (cisgender) women so I think people held their tongue on that account.

From family? Hostility galore, still going on to this day. But it could be worse, and I've written off those that have been abusive.
The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away.



~ Cara Elizabeth
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Damara

I've not had any hostility for being trans.. thank the gods! I'm amazed, as I live in a rural southern town.. anyway.. I am very thankful and feel blessed.. And Jayne, holy cow! What a horrid thing! I'm so glad you are ok, and lots of hugs to you!! <3
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sonson

I haven't yet been able to test this theory, but I think a good defense against full-on harassment would be to just pull out your phone and start filming them. tell them you'll post their abuse on youtube. people get uncomfortable when being filmed, im sure it would prompt them to leave before their hate becomes viral.

at least thats my plan should the time ever come. much respect and sympathy to anyone who has had to live through such horrible abuse.
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Daisy Jane

Sonson, I like this idea. I was gonna suggest pepper spray, but this may be better. Then again, temporarily blinding someone is also very effective.
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Joca

I don't know if I "belong to this thread" since I'm not a trans... But I experienced something on high school for being not as feminine as most girls at the time and not kissing/showing interest in boys.
Once a group of girls tried to force me to kiss a guy (which I feel that didn't exist) because "every girl was doing it except me and everyone was thinking that I was a lesbian". I refused. Then they tried to pull me. I struggled and left. Later that day, they came again, saying that someone wrote " (my name) f*ng lesbo" on the girls bathroom and I should see it . Once again they tried to pull me like a hoard of savage hungry dogs, they were EAGER to take me. This time to bathroom.
I panicked because I felt they wanted to beat me. They almost dragged me. I panicked but managed to flee.
Few days after not going to the bathroom, I found out that there was NOTHING THERE.

It was scary...
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stephaniec

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marsh monster

Quote from: sonson on April 16, 2015, 04:15:25 PM
I haven't yet been able to test this theory, but I think a good defense against full-on harassment would be to just pull out your phone and start filming them. tell them you'll post their abuse on youtube. people get uncomfortable when being filmed, im sure it would prompt them to leave before their hate becomes viral.

at least thats my plan should the time ever come. much respect and sympathy to anyone who has had to live through such horrible abuse.
That could be risky though. It could easily push them to violence in attempting to stop you from recording them. 
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Ltl89

Family had been very against it and hostility is present In thw sense that they are very against it.   Strangers have made comments and stared which hurt but you survive.   What surprised me is how nice most people are.   Even though i have major social fears, most people are outwardly very cool about it.   Kind of gives me hope as that's the majority of people in my experience.   Seriously,  most people are good hearted and more thoughtful than our worst fears.  But yeah, those negative encounters exist too and they sometimes have the biggest impact.
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HourGlass2B

I've never had neither physical nor verbal abuse from strangers, but I have had some weird experiences, allow me to elaborate. I am a transitioning transgendered but I am not "out" so to speak. well by this I mean I still look for fully male, beard and all, however On occasions still dress in feminine clothing regardless of how my face or body looks, "That takes some courage huh". Anyway from time to time when doing so I may receive snide looks, but I have never heard any. Now there was this particular time when I was shopping at CVS pharmacy, I was wearing a long T-shirt, it could've been male or female, some yoga pants that were not tight or fitted and some sandals with 3 1/2 inch heels and my toenails were painted a pretty blue color. I went in to purchase a bottle of Gatorade and two bottles of nail polish, when I heard the electronic shutter of a cellphone going off. I turned around to see a young guy pretending to be texting on his phone, I said to him, "i'm not homophobic sir but I'm not interested in you!" And he says you're the one with the ->-bleeped-<-got ass shoes on, and I said so wouldn't your homey's and or your girlfriend look at you kind of funny with all those photos of a guys feet in your phone? He then said what if I just punched you in the ->-bleeped-<-ing mouth, and I said well that would be worse to start a fight with a guy wearing heels because he's wearing heels only to get your ass kicked by that very guy wearing heels, I'm from the north end so if you are feeling froggish leap(Which is a notoriously known dangerous area in the city all living in) The whole transaction happened in front of a very attractive young lady that was the clerk at CVS at the time. He turned beet red and just looked away from me, in the store clerk giggled almost uncontrollably. In hindsight I believe I handled  that situation pretty well what do you think?
Do or do not there is no try!
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awilliams1701

Actually now that you mention that, my youngest sister's husband once told me he wanted to stone all the gays. When I accepted my trans status I remembered that and it made me concerned about my sister's acceptance. I truely believe she would have been more accepting of me before they got married (2012) than when I actually told her.

I believe that even more so now than before. She wants to keep the door open to me, but he wants nothing to do with me. He himself cut off his own brother and doesn't even remember why.  He doesn't want his daughter (but doesn't care about my sister's other 2 kids) to ever see me again. She's almost a year old now.

My sister and I used to be close. We played WoW together for years. After we both stopped that changed, but we still got along. She originally made an effort to talk to me monthly. Last time I talked to her on the phone was in February I believe. I talked to her on facebook about a month ago and she said sorry I've been too busy. For the record she's a stay at home mother. Her other daughter chose her dad over her husband and by consequence her as well. Her son made the same choice, but he's at college anyway. I would make the same choice. I don't like her husband. He is rooted in traditions that have been extinct for 50+ years.

Quote from: Ashey on April 15, 2015, 06:14:54 PM
Only from a few people, and only online, but it never got to me. My brother-in-law used to be vocally against my transition before I started, but wasn't exactly hostile about it, just rude. He's mellowed though, now that he's seen that I'm passable and happier.
Ashley
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herekitten

Negative on the experience of hostility for being me.  What I have experienced is an attempt to forcefully keep me in a relationship using my 'physical' situation against me.  Didn't work. When you're fed up, you're fed up! How weird is that? 
It is the lives we encounter that make life worth living. - Guy De Maupassant
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stephaniec

Quote from: awilliams1701 on April 17, 2015, 12:47:53 PM
Actually now that you mention that, my youngest sister's husband once told me he wanted to stone all the gays. When I accepted my trans status I remembered that and it made me concerned about my sister's acceptance. I truely believe she would have been more accepting of me before they got married (2012) than when I actually told her.

I believe that even more so now than before. She wants to keep the door open to me, but he wants nothing to do with me. He himself cut off his own brother and doesn't even remember why.  He doesn't want his daughter (but doesn't care about my sister's other 2 kids) to ever see me again. She's almost a year old now.

My sister and I used to be close. We played WoW together for years. After we both stopped that changed, but we still got along. She originally made an effort to talk to me monthly. Last time I talked to her on the phone was in February I believe. I talked to her on facebook about a month ago and she said sorry I've been too busy. For the record she's a stay at home mother. Her other daughter chose her dad over her husband and by consequence her as well. Her son made the same choice, but he's at college anyway. I would make the same choice. I don't like her husband. He is rooted in traditions that have been extinct for 50+ years.
my sisters are like your sisters husband.
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Sydney_NYC

I've never had a problem, but  I did have a surprise incident. About 3 years ago prior to coming out to myself as transgender, I identified as Gender Queer for many years prior to transitioning. I kept my body hair shaved, starting growing my hair out, dying it red and painted my toenails and always wore sandals in the summer time. However I dressed in male or androgynous clothes. One summer day with deep blue toenail polish with sandals wearing shorts and a T-Shirt and I was standing in line at the checkout line in the supermarket. This huge burly looking man that looked like he rode a Harley to the store and very tough looking asked if I was the one that painted my toenails. I said yes, it's just a way to express myself. He responds with: "That's really awesome. That's something I wish I had the balls to pull off! You certainly have more balls than I do!" I told him, I'm just being me. He said that the way to live life.
Sydney





Born - 1970
Came Out To Self/Wife - Sept-21-2013
Started therapy - Oct-15-2013
Laser and Electrolysis - Oct-24-2013
HRT - Dec-12-2013
Full time - Mar-15-2014
Name change  - June-23-2014
GCS - Nov-2-2017 (Dr Rachel Bluebond-Langner)


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Eva Marie

So far absolutely no hostility whatsoever. I expected it but it hasn't happened. I keep my fingers crossed that it stays that way.
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CB

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