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Started by PsychedelicSage, April 19, 2015, 06:36:44 PM

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PsychedelicSage

Hey there, I'm Sage, I'm mtf. c: I'm 20.
I've been transgender since as long as I can remember. All my life I told my parents I really wished I was a girl and I took my mother's clothes and wore them all the time when I was alone in my room. It started at around preschool.

I'm honestly a bit disappointed in my parents for not taking me to a psychologist/someone who specializes in gender therapy for children.. I don't even have kids but even I know that if your child is that dysphoric for years on end, you need to take them to see someone.

If I was able to get on hormones and start transitioning at a younger age and lived my school life as female, I very seriously doubt I would have two suicide attempts under my belt. And I would probably have friends now, lol.
But what's done is done, no point in being upset about it since I'm finally transitioning now.:p

I only just recently got prescribed hormones and started taking them roughly six days ago. The Howard Brown Health Center in Chicago is a GREAT place! Not nearly as expensive as I thought it would be either.
But it seems that the hormones are affecting me much faster than most people.. even though I'm on a low dose. Which is awesome! I'm getting so so so much more confident about my appearance, for the first time in my life!

I was actually supposed to get on hormones when I was 18, but that was before I knew about HBHC's informed consent. My medical insurance refused to pay a single dime towards any gender therapist in the country, and since gender therapy takes months or even years, there's no way I could have afforded that. So sadly I had to go another two years without hormones.

After I got home with my hormones I picked up from the pharmacy, I put them in my room and went to work. But while I wasn't home, my parents went through all my things and found my hormones, and somehow knew what they were.. So I was kinda forced into coming out to them. I wanted to wait until I moved out to come out to them because I knew they wouldn't accept it, but it's a little late for that lol.. My parent's reaction to me coming out as transgender was extremely negative.. All my life they spouted me these lies that they would accept me no matter what.. But when I'm finally doing something that really makes me happy, apparently I'm the devil's incarnate.

I had to argue with them for over an hour for them to even let me take hormones at all, even though I'm over 18 and it's my choice to make.. Whatever, at least they're letting me take them and not trying to take them away from me anymore.

They really just don't understand, and don't really try that hard to, honestly.

I love them, I just wish they were being honest when they said they would accept me no matter what.

But they're slowly starting to get used to it and accept me a little more. But they have seemed to noticed that my depression has completely disappeared and I'm much happier, so that's a good sign. c:

They still won't show me enough respect to stop calling me by my male name or using male pronouns for me though..
I know this is a lot to take in and takes some getting used to. But I don't even ask them or tell them to refer to me as Sage or with female pronouns. All I ask from them right now is to NOT refer to me as a man or use my male name. I said they could refer to me with gender neutral pronouns for now, like they/them/their, that person/that person/that person's, zhe/zhem/zheir, I would be happy with literally ANYTHING but male pronouns but they just don't care how insulting that feels to me.  It's like a slap in the face. Let alone being called by my male name, I've always hated my male name and I have a lot of trauma associated with it.

Whatever, I'm really hoping that they'll just get used to it, because moving out isn't an option for me right now, I still need to go to college.

Anywhooooooo, I hope to meet some cool people here!
A lot of you are beyond gorgeous, and I can't wait to look half as cute as you. c:
Bye.!
Started HRT on 4-14-15 but it was DIY.
Started real prescribed HRT on 7-22-15 c:
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Ms Grace

Hey Sage

Welcome to Susan's :) Great to have you here - looking forward to seeing you around the forum.

Thanks for sharing and it's great to hear you are underway despite your folks' reticence.

Please check out the following links for general site info...


Cheers

Grace
Grace
----------------------------------------------
Transition 1.0 (Julie): HRT 1989-91
Self-denial: 1991-2013
Transition 2.0 (Grace): HRT June 24 2013
Full-time: March 24, 2014 :D
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enigmaticrorschach

geez, all you young lings are really making me feel old xD welcome to the family
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katrinaw

Welcome Sage, your story is not uncommon, most of us here have been down that path...
With respect to your parents, most find it confronting to being told that I want to be the opposite gender, they will chose to ignore the signs and bury heads in the sand. Also there has been this Phalacy that children grow out of wanting to be the other gender as they move into and through puberty, Haaa we all know that's not true, right  ^-^

Enjoy your transition, you have your whole life ahead of you... And I suspect your family will come around.

L Katy  :-*
Long term MTF in transition... HRT since ~ 2003...
Journey recommenced Sept 2015  :eusa_clap:... planning FT 2016  :eusa_pray:

Randomly changing 'Katy PIC's'

Live life, embrace life and love life xxx
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Rachel

HRT  5-28-2013
FT   11-13-2015
FFS   9-16-2016 -Spiegel
GCS 11-15-2016 - McGinn
Hair Grafts 3-20-2017 - Cooley
Voice therapy start 3-2017 - Reene Blaker
Labiaplasty 5-15-2017 - McGinn
BA 7-12-2017 - McGinn
Hair grafts 9-25-2017 Dr.Cooley
Sataloff Cricothyroid subluxation and trachea shave12-11-2017
Dr. McGinn labiaplasty, hood repair, scar removal, graph repair and bottom of  vagina finished. urethra repositioned. 4-4-2018
Dr. Sataloff Glottoplasty 5-14-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal in office procedure 10-22-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal revision 2 4-3-2019 Bottom of vagina closed off, fat injected into the labia and urethra repositioned.
Dr. Thomas in 2020 FEMLAR
  • skype:Rachel?call
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V M

Hi Sage  :icon_wave:

Welcome to Susan's  :)  Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Hugs

V M
The main things to remember in life are Love, Kindness, Understanding and Respect - Always make forward progress

Superficial fanny kissing friends are a dime a dozen, a TRUE FRIEND however is PRICELESS


- V M
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rosetyler

QuoteAll my life they spouted me these lies that they would accept me no matter what.. But when I'm finally doing something that really makes me happy, apparently I'm the devil's incarnate.
It sucks when you realize your parents have lied to you doesn't it.  I know the feeling.  Are they religious by any chance?

QuoteI had to argue with them for over an hour for them to even let me take hormones at all, even though I'm over 18 and it's my choice to make.. Whatever, at least they're letting me take them and not trying to take them away from me anymore.
How soon could you become financially independent and move out?

QuoteThey really just don't understand, and don't really try that hard to, honestly.
I know that feeling too.

Sage is a cool name.  I like it.  Welcome.  :)
Be yourself.  Everyone else is already taken.   :)
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PsychedelicSage

Quote from: rosetyler on April 19, 2015, 08:15:26 PM
It sucks when you realize your parents have lied to you doesn't it.  I know the feeling.  Are they religious by any chance?
How soon could you become financially independent and move out?
I know that feeling too.

Sage is a cool name.  I like it.  Welcome.  :)

Thanks for the warm welcome!<3

My dad isn't religious but my mom is. She doesn't go to church though.

I won't be able to move out for bare minimum two more years.. I need to finish school and buy a car before I can move out. Where I live, you're completely unable to make enough to support yourself unless you have at least an associate's degree, especially if you want to rent an apartment, apartments around here are $1000+ for a studio and $1200+ for a one bedroom.

Thank you !
Started HRT on 4-14-15 but it was DIY.
Started real prescribed HRT on 7-22-15 c:
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rosetyler

What religion?  I'm exmormon and kinda curious.
Be yourself.  Everyone else is already taken.   :)
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PsychedelicSage

Quote from: rosetyler on April 19, 2015, 10:43:52 PM
What religion?  I'm exmormon and kinda curious.

Ohhh gotta love you crazy Mormons! c: Bahaha just kidding.  >:-)

I'm pretty sure she's Catholic.
Started HRT on 4-14-15 but it was DIY.
Started real prescribed HRT on 7-22-15 c:
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Ny

Oh, Mormons... The kindest, most accepting intolerant people ever. (My wife's family are Mormon, and her mother said to me the other day, "We'll love you and accept you for whomever you are. But we won't use female pronouns or your new name or refer to you as our daughter's wife. That would be wrong!" ::))

Welcome to Susan's, Sage! I'm sorry to hear you don't have accepting parents, and that they've been so abusive to you (and yes, denying their daughter treatment IS abusive). But, hopefully, you'll be able to move out soon and leave their hostility and negativity behind. What's important is you accepting you. Try not to let what other people say get to you, girl. Have faith in yourself. Trust yourself. Love yourself. Be true to yourself. If others have a problem with it, that's their problem, and maybe they'll grow up and deal with it, and maybe they won't. Either way, you're beautiful. Remember that. :)

And Sage is a beautiful name! I think you've made a wise choice there.
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Oliviacd

Quote from: rosetyler on April 19, 2015, 10:43:52 PM
What religion?  I'm exmormon and kinda curious.

Hello All!

I am also new to the Site and just starting my new transformation. Luckily, I think, my wife supports my in doing this. I just got my nails done and ears pierced. Still learning about make-up and hair.

I too am a member of the LDS Church. A question for you Rosetyler, how did your Bishop and other help or hurt you as you made this change? I as because I am just starting, I am still attending Church and would like to know what I may be facing.

Thank you,
Olivia
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gennee

Hello Sage and welcome to Susan's


:)
Be who you are.
Make a difference by being a difference.   :)

Blog: www.difecta.blogspot.com
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