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AniGender

Started by kestin, November 16, 2007, 03:20:41 PM

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kestin

Huzzah all :3 My names Kestin, I'm 20 and I live in Auckland, New Zealand. I'm just finishing up my second year at animation school (doing classical 2d animation) and am accepted to start my diploma year in 2008.

Oh yeah, and I'm intergendered. Adrogyne, Neutrois, third gender, whatever you want to call it. I've always felt that way but it wasn't until the begining of 06 that I googled "I feel like I have no gender" and came across this page.

http://cydathria.com/ms_donna/intergen.html

... and then everything fell into place.

Coinciding with that revelation, the last 3-4 years I slowly began to rethink my perceptions on who I was actually attracted to. Having always found women to be much more appealing mentally and physically but never really thinking about it. I had a fair amount of gay friends at high school and I always told myself that if I fell in love with a girl I'd be completely fine with it... but I began to really think about and found I always noticed women in the streets, when I read romance novels I really only focused on the women and more or less identified as the males in the stories. I came out as gay mid-last year to my class and have been completely open about that and my gender issues at school since then.

I prefer the term gay to lesbian because the L word denotes me to be either feminine or female, I actually prefer Dyke or Queer and tell people that :3

My goal in life is to create NZ made animated shows and films that incorporate Queer characters and themes naturally. My biggest goal is to get a children's show made for the 10-16 year age bracket that has these characters. Transgender m2f's, crossdressers, androgynes like myself, genderbenders, f2m's, and even effeminate straight men and masculine straight women. I know that if I had access to these ideas when I was young, I wouldn't have been so confused about my identity and how I fit into the world.

Growing up there was never any religious discussion or enforced gender behavior. I was pretty much a tomboy and played with lego and drew hellofalot. I liked barbies and action men, thomas the tank engine train sets and polly pockets. I thought that because I didn't feel like a girl, then I must be a boy inside... but when that didn't quite fit either, the only other option I knew of was tomboy.

To get back to the now, I have been fantasizing daily the last 18 months or so about having my breasts removed. Its the only surgery I want (pretty much) My goal is to be completely androgynous looking and people won't be able to tell, sometimes I even want to go as far as to pass as male... periodically I have wondered if I am really ftm, but I don't want a penis, and I don't really want to be in the generic 'male' roll either. I love the concept of gender->-bleeped-<-ing, I want people to be confused when they see me. Basically, the thing I want most about being a guy is having a masculine frame and chest and being able to walk around without a shirt :3 Since puberty I began growing a treasure trail and at first I hated it. I was very insecure about it which eventually grew into indifference... I just stopped caring about it. Since learning about intergender, I began to even like it because my body was mixing something that was supposedly male.

I hope to start learning how to talk with a deeper voice and to start building upper-body muscle. Sometimes when the desire gets too great, I bind my chest. I don't have any proper equipment for the job, but I'm looking into getting correct binders.

Bah, you can talk about this stuff all day :3 In a nutshell though...

Biologically (as far as I'm aware of) female identifying as non-gendered and queer. See me down in the Androgyny forums!

My deviantART page http://kestinstewart.deviantart.com/
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tinkerbell

Hello Kestin and welcome to Susan's!

Thank you for your introduction.  Please take a few moments to get familiar with all the boards of the site, review the site rules before posting, and take advantage of our many resources such as the wiki, chat, and the links listed at the main page.  We look forward to your future posts and participation.  Enjoy your stay :)

tink :icon_chick:

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Pica Pica

Hello.

Nice to have another androgyne type person on these boards. The game at the moment is thrashing out what we are and the way we are what we are and what we have in common and lots of other rigorous exercises....Feel very free to chuck your chickens in the pot (or your steaks on the Barbie) and have a nice time.
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buttercup

Hi Kestin,

Welcome and thanks for your great intro.


buttercup :)


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cindybc

Hi, Kestin, Welcome to Susan's, and I do pray you find what you are looking for here.

I go to the Androgyne forum now and again.  They are really nice folks there. Maybe I'll meet you there. 

My soul mate wants to you speak for a bit.

Kestin, I have some info concerning binding that may be useful to you.

I would go to a surgical supply store and see what they have that will compress things for you, possibly something to wear when one breaks a rib or has surgery.

Another avenue would be to see a corsetiere who manufactures corsets or maybe a good corset shoppe.  Binding should be applied evenly so as not to cut-off circulation to that which is being bound, yet allow for comfort and freedom of movement.

I hope this helps.

Cindy






Cindy
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Wing Walker

Hi, Kestin, and welcome to Susan's.

This place has something for most people who visit and I hope that it has something for you, too.

You have a very full artistic agenda but don't let anything steal or kill your dream!

As for binding, I mentioned that in a post made by my soulmate, Cindy.  If I can help you any further on that subject, please feel free to ask.

Enjoy your work!

Wing Walker
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kestin

Hi all :3

Thanks for all you're warm welcomes, I'll definitely be looking into some surgical supply places... now I just have to find them in the Auckland region.

I'm going to a GenderQuest meeting Sunday 25th so hopefully I'll be able to get more information on these matters first hand. I'm told one of the councillers is Intersex XD

Is it strange to actually hope you are intersex?
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Kendall

Welcome Kestin,
You sound extremely interesting and sound like you are on the right path. I look forward to reading more of your posts.

That would be interesting and nice to see some animation shows with a variety of gender variations, orientations, and such for pre-teens. Good Idea.

Welcome again.

KK
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RebeccaFog

Hi Kestin,

   Welcome!

   Sorry I'm late welcoming you, but I haven't been at work and that's where I do most of my goofing off on the internet.  :laugh:

   You sound interesting.  It seems you have a good idea of who you are and you're willing to explore.  I'm sure it'll all work out for you.


Rebis  --> null gendered & proud!
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