I'm in the middle of the process of getting to terms with me being bi-gender, I'm 39 and about one and a half months ago my closet imploded. As a result of denying my feminine side I neglected my body.

I don't hate it but I don't love it either, it's an object I have. One of the goals I set for the next 18 months is to get to a point where I find myself "sexy".

The last few days I did a few things I never really done before which are me taking care of both my body and my feminine side.

After hiding my face for 20+ years after a beard I found out that my skin was a bit off a mess so I made some moisturizing cream and tonight while watching TV (while wearing a skirt) I noticed that my toenails needed some attention so I filed them using a nail file I bought this weekend.
These might be small things but they felt really good, just a few months ago I was so deep in my self erected closet that I would not even think about this because what if anybody (including myself) found out about my hidden side.

It's still sometimes a scary process I'm going trough but it's also really exciting and fun, I'm glad that my closet is gone.

Love Lili

Ps

Buying a nail file and some panties was quit nerve wrecking so I also bought some other stuff to kinda hide the girlishness of my basket, including a cookie bake set and an inflatable millefeuille (custard slice). I really need to learn not to give a crap when buying feminine stuff, just buying shampoo can still be scary even though until now nobody at a shop have given me strange looks or anything. Next on my wish list is some Lavender nail polish for my toes, I could buy it online but I want to do it at a shop just to practice and get over my nerves and fears.

Quote from: Lili-Fera on April 28, 2015, 05:37:24 PM
I really need to learn not to give a crap when buying feminine stuff, just buying shampoo can still be scary even though until now nobody at a shop have given me strange looks or anything.

Hold your head high. Show them that the face of transgender is intelligent and proud.

You have nothing to be ashamed of. Being bigender means seeing life from both sides of the divide. Cisgender muggles will never see more than one or the other!

Hi Lili-Fera sounds like you are really making progress.  It shows real courage to face down your fears in the way that you are. Bet your nails look ace when you paint them lavender

Baby steps, huge emotional results...

L Katy 

Each step forward pays off in confidence and comfort. Also lots of other little things you can do which don't draw attention but feel wonderful such as plucking and shaping eyebrows - just a little, shaving underarms, getting rid of hair on hands, chest, facial cleansing and moisturizing.

I'm smiling because I remember when I first did these things.

Best wishes on your journey of exploration!

I'm glad to see your embracing all of yourself and taking the baby steps needed to accomplish that. Congrats.
Mariah