First of all bare with me on this topic, it may raise a few eyebrows and get a few annoyed reactions but here goes.

Now I, for all my life have fully identified as being female and just grown to accept the fact that I am in a male body. In the last couple of years I have been thinking about transitioning and that I would 'feel better' in a female body.

True, if I could wake up tomorrow and be a girl then I would choose to do so. However this interesting idea struck me.

Is it Really so bad to be a girl stuck in a guys body? Don't get me wrong, I hate the hair growing in the wrong places, I don't like the fact that im fairly broad and obviously that I have the wrong parts but I was thinking is it really as bad as im making it out to be.

This brings up actually quite an interesting and somewhat unique situation. Me being a girl in a mans body, think about it, doesn't that actually provide quite alot of interesting benefits?  First and foremost (from a realism sense point of view, not saying it's fair etc) Men / boys tend to have a much 'easier life'.

What do I mean by easy? I mean easy in many situations such as (and bear in mind if I was to transition I would be a tomboy anyway) what to wear, thinking about what other people think about how I look, people won't look at me in pervy ways, I am much less likely to be sexually attacked, in alot of social situations my opinion isn't considered different because of my Sex, getting ready takes alot less time, I can (and do) look good without much effort at all, not as much is expected from men and generally they have more free lives.

Now also this hits on too me a actually quite strange feeling and one that makes me blush a little  It is quite a mindblowing secret right? I mean I Know for a fact that inside (mind, soul, spirit, whatever you want to call it) I am a girl, yes a bit of a tomboyish girl but thats the way I have always from my earliest memory identified.  I mean comon right? Yes it would be great for my body to fit my personality but isn't this somewhat getting the best of both worlds? 

What I mean is I really crush on guys and girls (since coming out I am alot more open about the guy side) , I have been in relationships with both etc. I actually find it quite fun to by eyeing up a hot looking guy knowing full well im a Girl but too him on the outside guy, now this sucks in the way that he probably wont be attracted to me, but the look I have recently alot of people have asksed me if im a girl or a guy     

Trying to explain this feeling is difficult, and as I said if doctors approved it I probably would transition but the more I think about it, why really is it considered so bad to be in this body? I have all the benefits of being a girl on the inside, liking things that girls like, I have a personality (already told by psychiatrist) that matches up to a girl from emotions to humor etc but I have the added benefits of being safe, secure and having an easier life in this body? Theres days where I stand in the mirror and look at my flat chest and pull a  face but theres other days where (now this sounds really weird) actually sometimes even get hot and flustered looking at my own body?  Because it feels like almost looking at another person

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The bottom line: I think people in general are too concerned about the Binaries of the genders and what they can and cant be doing. In '''' Reality '''' I can do all the things that a girl would do, no I don't want to dress up like a girl nor do I have too? I think when people just focus on the clothing / makeup aspect they are trying to prove too themselves that they are female and other people.

I know I am a Girl and I am in the body of a guy. So what? Maybe one day ill transition, but does not being a girl stop me from doing anything that a girl would do? Nope. It does impact the way other people perceive me, but in alot of situations it's better to be perceived as a man. Maybe like a sad when mr hottie  walks down the street and doesn't notice me its a bad sad, but when mrs hottie smiles back at me then 

Be yourself, what you are on the inside is the most important, you don't have to prove anything to anyone in the form of your actions or your physical appearance.

In many ways I think what you say has great merit. Indeed I think some of the happiest and easily accepted woman are those who worry less about the 'outside' and are content with the 'inside'. But that said, I'm a woman. I enjoy being a woman. No it isn't the clothes, perfume etc but being me. A woman and being accepted as female in society.

I agree that there are many transgender females who have no wish to physically transition, and I think that is wonderful and I am happy for them. There are many transgender woman who feminise and present in a 'masculine' way in dress and behaviour; I think that is wonderful.

There are also transgender woman who want and do present in a feminine way in both dress and social acceptance. Which is also wonderful.

Then you can look at XX woman, and you will find exactly the same groups.

Which I think can be summarised as XY woman are very similar to XX women.

Just be happy, that is the best thing.

For me it was about knowing who I am on the inside even if I couldn't do certain aspects of the transition. I would have still moved forward without hormones or surgery. Did I want to do hormones and surgery, of course but if couldn't it wasn't going to change anything. I'm glad I get to do both, but I am woman regardless and proud of that. As much as can ware anything I want now I often love wearing a pair of skinny jeans, but I also love wearing skirts and dresses too. It's all expressing who I am for me that is all that matters. Hugs
Mariah

I agree with what Cindy said - every persons journey through gender dysphoria is different and people should feel free to be whoever they want to be. No one is saying that you must transition - if you are comfortable where you are and it is working for you then that's wonderful. Some of us need to go further to be comfortable, and thats fine too.

As I live my new life and I get to experience mysogony and the treatment females get in this patriarchal world I often reflect on these same things you said - the ease of living a guys life, no mysogony, no put downs for who you are, respect for merely being a guy, dressing out of the dirty clothes pile and heading out the door - yeah, life was definitely easier back then, and being a female in a male body did give me some advantages in life - I had insights into things and an intuition about people that guys just don't have. It is a life that works for some people, but not for all of us.

Simply put - be the person that you want to be, and be happy 

Two days ago, I would have said I was content with being a CD. There certainly are some benefits to being male. Recently, I've been realising that not being female is still sort of an issue for me. I guess you could say I've reached a crossroad, one where I have to decide wether I'm going to continue on the path I've been on, or let my inner woman take full reign. TBCH, I'm leaning towards letting my inner woman branch out further. I think I could survive without GRS. I would like to do HRT, and another surgery or two; but It's like Mariah and Cindy are saying, who cares what's downstairs? I know in my innermost being, I am female, I have been for as long as I can remember, and no genitalia of any kind will change that.

Thank you all for your replies and as said it comes down to personal choice

I wish you all the best of luck during your various transitions btw

For many years I decided to think of myself as a woman pretending to be a man - an undercover spy if you will - but that only got me so far, every spy has to come in from the cold eventually.

Definitely. I don't really want to be a spy, the only other choice is transition. I'm working at hopefully finding a therapist covered by my insurance, I really need to talk to someone who can help me face to face

What you said is definitely very interesting...and I do have similar thoughts sometimes. But I think the majority of my dysphoria came from denying myself, denying my identity internally. Of course it is beautiful when I have what I call "gender euphoria" days, but for the most part what makes me the happiest is just being able to be myself.

My therapist told me, "You know, the people who are mourning the loss of the person they knew before you came out, the people who aren't able to accept Ashley because they are too busy mourning that loss, well, it's just silly. If anything, you haven't really changed. It's been clear that from the day you came out to me you never really changed. You are just so much more you. So much more you."

I'm just really enjoying...being more me. That's what it's about for me.

(All that said, I am really freaking excited for the further effects of hormones [I'm 3 weeks in now]...)

Quote from: Ms Grace on May 03, 2015, 06:53:51 PM
For many years I decided to think of myself as a woman pretending to be a man - an undercover spy if you will - but that only got me so far, every spy has to come in from the cold eventually.

Yeah. It became unbearable for me to the point of just hating my body so much. I couldn't stand to look at myself.

Quote from: Skylar1992 on May 02, 2015, 11:07:41 AM
... why really is it considered so bad to be in this body?

<snip>

Be yourself, what you are on the inside is the most important, you don't have to prove anything to anyone in the form of your actions or your physical appearance.

That's a nice sentiment -- as long as you're planning to live the rest of your life totally isolated from other human beings.  An igloo in Antarctica or somthing?

If you live in society, though, you have to deal with how other people treat you, and how they treat you depends a lot on how they perceive you.  People iteract with people perceived as men differently from people perceived as women.  (And they get really weird if they aren't sure which you are.)  And if you're perceived as a man, but don't act the way men are expected to act, most people think you're weird and avoid having anything more to do with you than they absolutely have to.  If you're a child, you also face unrelenting harassment from children and adults alike.  It's the story of my life.  I've learned to conform enough to get by as an adult, which then means I'm alienated from myself.  For me, suffering male socialization is like when they used to force left-handed people to do everything right-handed.

So one reason to change my body is to change the expectations I'm burdened with.

Another is that, quite frankly, I feel ugly.  I've never liked the look of male bodies, especially adult male bodies.  So when I look in the mirror and see this ogre staring back at me -- well, I eventually learned to stop seeing my reflection as "me."  In fact, I don't even see it as a whole picture -- I just see the little pieces I have to deal with.

So another reason to change my body is so I can see "me" when I look in the mirror.  Or at least something that looks a little more like "me".

TL;DR: this doesn't work for me. 

Hi Sklar, very interesting post... Theres certainly merit in what you say...

For me, I always knew i was misgendered, definately a girl in a guys body... I've lived with it and managed it over the years... For me, now I cant manage or want to hide it for much longer, despite years of HRT, i want to be a woman, look like, dress like, be accepted by the world as a woman... Now there are many aspects of me that to me (i'm a bit of a perfectionist) need to be fixed up... But never the less i don't want to remain a girl in a mans body. Having said that, there is no reason why you can't be both...

As far as acceptance goes, and the world is changing slowly, quicker, then slowly again, there is more acceptance, however, people still have this insane need to categorise and label...
Personally I love dresses, jeans, tops, sweaters etc Are some tomboy, maybe... And even after full transition and with my age I will still wear want I want, there'll just be no male clothing so I won't be reminded...? Hmmm too many years in my memory bank.

Great thought provoking post tho 

L Katy