Good morning ! (or maybe night or or evening :'D)
I am 17 years old and I am currently trying to figure out wheter I am transsexual mtf. I'm pretty new to the term transsexual as I only learnt yesterday what the word meant, of course I had heard the word before but I was never quite sure what it meant until last night. Aside from not knowing what the word transgender meant I have referred to my self as a lesbian in a guys body, there was one person that I have told this to and he brushed me off saying "But wouldn't that just mean you are a straight guy?"

I have felt very feminine since I was a kid. Couple of notable things I did as a kid/pre-teen were: grow my hair really long as attempt to be more like a girl and as I was raised in a very religious family I have tried praying before going to bed that I would wake up as a girl next morning. When ever I think if my self as a guy I usually get mild to heavy dysphoria and when I think of my self as a girl I feel calm, relaxed and happy.

I would really appreciate if people could post their experiences and opinions and questions concerning being transgender as I find it very important to confirm that I am transgender. I will do my best to answer any questions if I left anything important out of this post.

Hi Pyon, Welcome to Susans...

When you get a moment;


Please review  the following links for site rules, helpful tips and other info...

• Site Terms of Service and rules to live by
  
• Standard Terms and Definitions
  
• Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar)
  
• Reputation rules
  
• News posting & quoting guidelines
  
• Photo, avatars, and signature images policy
  

Your thoughts and contemplation of your gender is not uncommon, I am sure you will find the answers and information that you may need to help you here. Certainly you're not alone in discovering your mis-alignment of physical gender v's how you feel and identify with!


L Katy 

Quote from: katrinaw on May 04, 2015, 01:30:18 AM
Hi Pyon, Welcome to Susans...

When you get a moment;


Please review  the following links for site rules, helpful tips and other info...

• Site Terms of Service and rules to live by
  
• Standard Terms and Definitions
  
• Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar)
  
• Reputation rules
  
• News posting & quoting guidelines
  
• Photo, avatars, and signature images policy
  

Your thoughts and contemplation of your gender is not uncommon, I am sure you will find the answers and information that you may need to help you here. Certainly you're not alone in discovering your mis-alignment of physical gender v's how you feel and identify with!


L Katy 

Will do. Although I do feel like it would help to get someone's opinion even if I do find some kind of answer from the links you posted earlier.

Haa no, thems the way we keep the site safe and comfortable for everyone...

Checkout the following links;

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/board,8.0.html you'll find some intros here, where folks post an intro on themselves... Some good topics there, then see the responses. I did consider re-directing your intro, but as you fit the youth category felt it was fine there too.

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/board,144.0.html this is the MtF transsexual board, but be warned that lots of different topics reside there, but defined by MtF girls...


https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/board,4.0.html Transgender board, again lots of transgender talk, but not limited to MtF

You may get more responses if your topic is in Intro's... Would you like me to move it there?

L Katy 

You got a couple of options.

First thing is to learn all you can about how you feel, and what it all means.

If you are under 18 you can't seek treatment on your own, so your only options are to: tell your parents and ask to speak to a gender therapist, you can also talk to your guidance counselor at school.

Your final choice if none of that works and you need to transition, is waiting till you are 18 and can seek treatment yourself.

Transition is not for everyone so make sure that is really the path you need to follow in life. Don't do it out of simple desire.

If that is the way you are heading, the earlier you start the transition process especially hormones, the more complete the effects are.

Hope some of this helps. If you have specific questions ask away.

Thanks for the replies! They really help.

As Susan said, ask away 

L Katy

Quote from: Pyon on May 04, 2015, 01:19:11 AM
Good morning ! (or maybe night or or evening :'D)
I would really appreciate if people could post their experiences and opinions and questions concerning being transgender as I find it very important to confirm that I am transgender. I will do my best to answer any questions if I left anything important out of this post.

Hello Pyon.  There are as many types of transgender experience as there are ice-cream flavours, so if you ask for opinions you will get many of them.  What you described in your post is a common enough experience, buuut... it doesn't necessarily mean that you're transgender.  Although, if you're 17 and thinking about such things, it's worth exploring your gender identity, and that is best done with a therapist.

Don't think that going to a therapist means that you're nuts - far from it.  The key role of a therapist is to guide you, and to help you sift through what's real, imagined, imposed by society, or imposed by yourself.  With a good therapist you are free to explore who you really are, and that is a fantastically rewarding experience of itself.  It can be a bit unnerving to peel away layers of self-protection and find out the real truth about who you are - it's a little like Neo in Matrix having to choose between the red pill or the blue pill

As for your parents, when you are ready, be strong, structured, and clear with them about what you are thinking.  If they let you grow your hair as a kid it sounds like they are somewhat enlightened, and if you think that they will be supportive then they probably will be.  Good parents only want the best for their kids, but make sure you've got a good story to tell them, since most people will respond with incredulity - it's quite an understandable reaction.

I hope this helps.
Hugs
Julia

Your story sounds a lot like mine up to your point in life, though I waited 15 more years to really start exploring it. Life unintentionally got in the way, met a girl, got married, started a career, bought a house, now we're having a baby, etc...

Anyways, what everyone else has said already is exactly what I'd say to you too.  With a small twist.  I would see a therapist about these feelings as soon as you can, and if you're not ready to tell you folks about it yet, just tell them you think you might be depressed and need to talk to someone about that instead.  Talking with the therapist then can help you figure things out and probably help you figure out when and if to tell your parents about being transgender too, presuming you are of course.  When will you turn 18?  It may take a few months of therapy before you even start figuring things out anyways. You may not choose to transition completely for instance and would simply enjoy living a more genderfluid lifestyle instead. Going out sometimes as boy, sometimes as girl.

One last thought.  If you have a social life and won't get beat up for it at school, lol, you can always start doing things like wearing nail polish or mascara. Get some hair accessories too and maybe some women's shoes to wear out. Not high heels necessarily, but just start browsing and see what catches your eye. Little things like that can help you express your girliness without too much impact. Just be careful around the parental units. :-)

And here's my own intro thread if you're interested in reading it.

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,186642.0.html

Quote from: Julia-Madrid on May 04, 2015, 03:34:05 AM
Hello Pyon.  There are as many types of transgender experience as there are ice-cream flavours, so if you ask for opinions you will get many of them.  What you described in your post is a common enough experience, buuut... it doesn't necessarily mean that you're transgender.  Although, if you're 17 and thinking about such things, it's worth exploring your gender identity, and that is best done with a therapist.

Don't think that going to a therapist means that you're nuts - far from it.  The key role of a therapist is to guide you, and to help you sift through what's real, imagined, imposed by society, or imposed by yourself.  With a good therapist you are free to explore who you really are, and that is a fantastically rewarding experience of itself.  It can be a bit unnerving to peel away layers of self-protection and find out the real truth about who you are - it's a little like Neo in Matrix having to choose between the red pill or the blue pill

As for your parents, when you are ready, be strong, structured, and clear with them about what you are thinking.  If they let you grow your hair as a kid it sounds like they are somewhat enlightened, and if you think that they will be supportive then they probably will be.  Good parents only want the best for their kids, but make sure you've got a good story to tell them, since most people will respond with incredulity - it's quite an understandable reaction.

I hope this helps.
Hugs
Julia

Thank you putting your time and effort into this response . I will definetly try to get in touch with a therapist if not now then definetly when I turn 18, after all its not that long till I do turn 18. I have been to a therapist earlier for other reasons so I'm sure there's nothing bad about going to a therapist.

Quote from: Tristan on May 04, 2015, 04:15:14 AM
Your story sounds a lot like mine up to your point in life, though I waited 15 more years to really start exploring it. Life unintentionally got in the way, met a girl, got married, started a career, bought a house, now we're having a baby, etc...

Anyways, what everyone else has said already is exactly what I'd say to you too.  With a small twist.  I would see a therapist about these feelings as soon as you can, and if you're not ready to tell you folks about it yet, just tell them you think you might be depressed and need to talk to someone about that instead.  Talking with the therapist then can help you figure things out and probably help you figure out when and if to tell your parents about being transgender too, presuming you are of course.  When will you turn 18?  It may take a few months of therapy before you even start figuring things out anyways. You may not choose to transition completely for instance and would simply enjoy living a more genderfluid lifestyle instead. Going out sometimes as boy, sometimes as girl.

One last thought.  If you have a social life and won't get beat up for it at school, lol, you can always start doing things like wearing nail polish or mascara. Get some hair accessories too and maybe some women's shoes to wear out. Not high heels necessarily, but just start browsing and see what catches your eye. Little things like that can help you express your girliness without too much impact. Just be careful around the parental units. :-)

And here's my own intro thread if you're interested in reading it.

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,186642.0.html

I'm sure I will go to a therapist, as I do turn 18 in a couple of months after all. Its nice to see that someone is able to relate with similar experiences .

Quote from: katrinaw on May 04, 2015, 02:08:30 AM


You may get more responses if your topic is in Intro's... Would you like me to move it there?

L Katy 

Sorry!! I did not notice this part earlier. But sure you can move the topic into Intro's.

Consider it done. I will be glad to move it to intro's for you. 
Mariah

Quote from: Pyon on May 05, 2015, 03:47:53 AM
Sorry!! I did not notice this part earlier. But sure you can move the topic into Intro's.

Hi Pyon, Welcome to Susan's. I always from early on knew my body didn't match how I felt and knew as far as I was concerned about my gender. It took time for me to  get over that I was different than everyone which had been reinforced in my case from early on, but I didn't come to terms with being transgendered fully tell last year. I always felt right doing girl things and being in girls clothes yet some part me would eventually have doubts and I would purge what I bought do to my Christian faith. I can't tell you if your transgender not, but what I can say is that I knew I didn't feel like or even think of myself as a guy and trying to pretend I was caused me only more pain. Once I came to terms with this I knew what I had to do. Your young and you have a lot ahead of you. Considering how you feel I suspect your very much like the rest of us here in regards to how you feel about your gender. I hope your able to sort this out and I look forward to seeing you around the site. Good luck and Hugs.
Mariah

Quote from: Pyon on May 04, 2015, 01:19:11 AM
Aside from not knowing what the word transgender meant I have referred to my self as a lesbian in a guys body, there was one person that I have told this to and he brushed me off saying "But wouldn't that just mean you are a straight guy?"

Uh ... no. To be a straight guy you'd have to be male. Doesn't sound like you feel like you are.

Quote from: Pyon on May 04, 2015, 01:19:11 AM
I would really appreciate if people could post their experiences and opinions and questions concerning being transgender as I find it very important to confirm that I am transgender.

Well I can't confirm your gender (only you can do that). But I can say that every single thing you've described is something that many of the transgender people at this site have also talked about.

Maybe it's not as important whether you're transgender, as what you want to do with your feelings. Do you want to live as a female? If yes, then it really doesn't matter whether you're confirmed to be transgender or not. If that's the way you need to live, that tells you what direction to go in.

Thanks for all the elaborate responses ! I'm sure there are a lot of things I should take into consideration before making any kind of decision yet. The first thing I plan on doing, as mentioned earlier, is going to see a therapist as I feel it will help loads.

Hi Pyon 

Welcome to Susan's    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Hugs

V M

Welcome!  I hope you find the answers that you're looking for here.  There are a lot of really nice people on the site so, you should just jump right in and start bugging people!

Cheers,
Ian

Thank you . I will be sure to ask if I there is something I need to ask.