Killing yourself is a long term solution to a short term problem. I know you feel trapped, I fully understand - been there myself. Usually the feeling comes and goes, with help and support it is eventually mostly gone and then you have your life to live and give. There have been a number of times, especially when I was younger that I truly deeply contemplated suicide, came very close to enacting it in a few instances, but I realised the one person I would be depriving the most would be myself and the people I could then go on to love and help, the great experiences I would miss out on, the chances and opportunities that could die with me, the awesome movies I'd never see! Sure, life is no picnic - there are crap moments for everyone - but it is what you make it, please don't make a rash decision when you are at your lowest point.