In another discussion, I was told by mmmmm that some people who had FFS done had some regrets afterwards. I initially couldn't believe it, and thought it was like the 1% of MTF who have regret. Apparently, it's not. It's more than that. And this is not just when the surgery was not feminizing enough but like the opposite - too feminizing!

This is not the kind of things you want to read a few weeks before your surgery. So I decided to investigate, mostly on sysm29 because she posted about her thoughts and she's very clear in her explanations.

Her posts started to concern me as something I should have found before, because it could be legitimate buyer regrets that may strike any of us. So I decide to read her entire post history https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php?action=profile;area=showposts;u=12761, to check for differences or common points between me and her. I'm sharing the results of my investigation, in case it could be helpful to anyone else.

Long story short, I realize that her story was quite different:
- she didn't really want breasts: " I don't want to grow breasts unless I'm ready to live as a woman full-time. " My boobs are my pride and my joy! I thought I was just A cup, on the verge of B, but when I realized they were C cups but didn't look as such yet because of my body frame and some weird cliches that were put in my head, I was overjoyed for a few days!! My plans are advancing faster than I thought, which was puzzling, but like "puzzling good"!! Like unexpected good news!!
- she mentions hating her hair: "Now my hair is growing too long and it looks terrible... I don't know what the f to do with my hair." With my boobs, this is like the only part of me I actually love and I'm proud of   It took me some serious time and commitment to grow my hair. I would hate to have them like shaved because of some brain surgery 
- she had no transition plan and listed transition like the step #6 of a 7 step list, with no specific date. I have a precise idea of what to do this summer to go full time : first in july when I'm still frankenstein (letter for the driver license with the help of WWH where I conveniently scheduled an appointment), in august (HR, then come out to my colleagues when I no longer look like frankenstein to avoid frightening them lol), in september (resume classes as my true self, get a new pic on my driver license as I should look less worse)
- more precisely, she mentions how she didn't really want to pass: "When you have FFS, the goal is to make you instantly pass.  My face is said to now be so feminine that I can't pass as James anymore and that terrifies me.  I hadn't wanted to pass right away" - well, I do want to pass right away. I even dream what it would be like to have problems on the flight back - say with passport control! Why? Because it would validate me as passing real good lol. Like, I don't care whether they let me flight back immediately or not because I don't look like my passport picture, as long as I had my FFS done, whatever!!! If they need to check my dental records/DNA/something else, and hold me for hours or a few days. I'll be a smiling girl anyway 
- she mention how she loved her guy face: "I already mourn the loss of a brother.  I loved him and I loved his face.  He was beautiful." What?? Well, no. I love my boobs and my hair. My face is more like an impediment that needs to be fixed. When it is, it'll be RIP, but good riddance! For example, I've been thinking about what to do with old pictures etc. I think just want them gone to bury the past me. I plan to let whatever face recognition program run on my picture collection to selectively remove all those where my face is showing, because I want to keep the memories. I'm not sure about that picture thing, though. Maybe I'm overreacting. I'll see in a few month if I still want the pictures gone. Maybe I'll keep say 10 ultra important ones - but with a hard limit, because I don't want that to be a burden.
- she mention a sense of loss of her ethnicity: "I feel as if i've lost myself, my identity, my ethnicity..." There are some parts of my identity I'd like to remove, like with an eraser. I've already changed my name to get of some of them. I've burned a lot of my past in doing so. I've already left everything behind, not just once, when moving. I'm sorry girl, I stand firmly on the opposite. I just want to be a regular boring neighborhood white girl.
- her post were frequently sad. You get the impression she was not happy. I do feel energetic. More important, I finally allow myself to feel happiness. That's the best way to describe how I feel when I look at the sky. I'm no longer repressing myself
- finally, she was hetero :"I think 18-19-20 year old guys are hot as heck." Well, for me, they're disgusting. Don't even mention trying to get intimate! I'm already with a girl I love and who loves the inner me. I wish I will be pretty, but for myself, not for anyone else. Certainly not for "scoring" a person.

There's some ambivalence too :
  - she mentions how she's happy to start HRT, then after FFS that she didn't like HRT: "Estrogen has that effect on me, it makes me look so thin and withdrawn.  All of the vitality in my guy face is gone.  I just don't like what estrogen does to me". With HRT, I could finally start seeing (when I squint my eyes really hard) the girl in my. I am finally starting to become prettier. It's not all boobs and hair 
- she mentions how she hates having hair all over, then how she regrets her facial hair: "I actually even miss the facial hair.  I hated the feel of it growing on me, but I liked the way it looked.  Since I have a lot of jaw and chin, a beard would have looked great on me.  Why couldn't I have just grown it out into a beard and been a guy?". WHAT?? WHAT?? I hated it when it was growing. I hated the look it gave me. I just hated it - it was like having black worms inside my skin, yuck - especially when they came out after laser. Even on my hands it was disgusting when I was washing the hair away. 2 years later, I don't have the shadow of a regret - pardon the pun I still have to pluck a bit and it's still disgusting, but nothing that money won't fix someday.

There are some common points though, a wish to be a pretty teenage girl, how she felt every year not lived as her true self was being lost (even if she was only 26), an empty social life in school, a perfectionist streak, a fear of not passing (" I do not want to go through life looking like a man in a wig and a dress" - it's like she was reading my mind!) and the inner feeling she absolutely needs FFS.

I mean, we're very close. When she mention how she started by hating her chin, I think about my nose. It's true that I hate my nose, but only because it's too big. Personally, I couldn't care less if it was made more feminine.

But when she says among her first messages, "all I can think about is "Will I be a pretty woman?"" - well, all I can think about is "will it be good enough to pass without makeup all the time". I did read all her posts very carefully, and I can't say I relate with most of her feelings. But dear anonymous reader, who may be lurking as I long did, you should read her post yourself.  If you can't, my post is just a TLDR as good as possible, but very incomplete. You shouldn't make your mind based on my words.

We're all very different. I don't want to diss sysm29 experience. It is very unique, and she has had enough love and trust to share her full history with us, including her regrets. And that is special, since they are not many people out there who can admit doing wrong, even anonymously. She did share her regrets hoping her story could help us. I'm putting that advice to a good use, by making sure my story will not like hers.

I can only recommend anyone seriously planning FFS, or even scheduled for FFS, to read her entire post history if you haven't done so yet. I want to be put on anesthesia with a clean mind and a clean soul. I did read a lot before I created my account to start talking about FFS, but for some reason I had missed that. I wish I had read about her experience before, just because I wouldn't have had the back luck of discovering it a few weeks before surgery. Yet there's a strong anti-FFS streak out here, and it wouldn't have had the same effect if I had found it in a pinned post. I had to find it myself, and read it carefully myself without any premade opinion.

It's a bit of a voyeuristic experience, but it's a very good read, even if you feel anxious. I mean, I didn't know a girl could seriously have regret about her FFS. I still bother about being scammed or about the surgeon being hit by a bus. But I don't fear I may have regret. I just fear what's outside my control. I'm sure now there's no room for regrets. Charlotte is going crazy well enough by herself lol

Hey Charlotte! You know, I've been thinking about the same topic of FFS regrets. I mean, just imagine, you and me, in less than a month, will look in the mirror and see a different version of ourselves. Perhaps there is a worry that we won't appreciate what we have until it's gone. But l look at it this way: We'll be better versions of ourselves, more comfortable in our own skin, and soon we will not remember the men in the mirror. We'll get closer to having the bodies meant for us. If we look at it from this positive angle, we have the privilege of feeling truly liberated.

But I'm not saying we'll necessarily be happy. Is it better just to feel less ->-bleeped-<-ty? If we don't address underlying depression, anxiety, etc then those issues aren't just going to disappear. They are likely to get worse when we realize ffs isn't salvation. And sometimes it's difficult to tell whether dysphoria is a root of these psychological problems or whether we have dysphoria and depression/anxiety. I know personally that I am less depressed or anxious than ever, but I really won't fully know until I heal.

I think these psychological issues contribute to the regret people feel. We face self-esteem problems just as many women in our beauty culture; if only my nose were smaller, my forehead flatter, my chin more beautiful. FFS will not make us hollywood movie stars. I sure as hell don't look like one now and I won't wake up one after the surgery. So my expectation are modest. I think that's important to not regretting ffs.

It's funny how going under the knife soon can trigger some weird brain activity! Like what if I have regrets? I mean, before I committed, I was so sure I wouldn't have any regrets, then I what I read touched me, and it took me some thinking to be really sure, deep inside, that I wasn't going to be feeling like sysm29.

About feeling ->-bleeped-<-ty, I can't say I feel ->-bleeped-<-ty. I mean, if anything generally I feel much happier now than ever before. When I feel bad, I go brush my hair if I have a bathroom nearby. If I don't, I simply touch my boobs very discretely. I feel better immediately. It's weird, it's like being able to establish a physical connection between who I fear I'm not and who I am becoming. I can't say I'm really a friend with the mirror - I have more like a love/hate relationship because I don't see myself very often, yet at least my hair are me.

Seeing is believing, and touching is confirming. It works magic on me to cure any dysphoria.

If I was to be judged on a medical scale of dysphoria, I guess I wouldn't qualify for dysphoria anymore, since I have found a way to make it go away quickly when it happens So I see FFS as gender confirming, a commitment to my true self. In feminist speak, I'm renouncing male privilege forever, and I'm glad I'll be doing so. It may help me feel better or not. I hope it will make me feel better, because I like being happy!

But I also know FFS is more than that. I mean, when I'm in the mall and I pass by say a Claire's, I know it's not socially acceptable for me to go there. I feel very very bad inside, and I wish I could. I mean, I can walk in there and I already did more than once, but I get the feeling I'm not accepted, that I don't belong. My face disqualifies me. And I'm not foolish enough to delude myself into thinking I'd be if I acted otherwise. I mean, people would be polite, but I would know they don't recognize me as a girl

I do have these psychological issues, and I believe simply being called "miss" while being just myself, fresh out of bed, will solve the most important ones. I know who I am inside, but how good that is unless other people can see it too?

(Oh, and one quick edit: just to be crystal clear, FFS is not just about going to Claire's! Don't take that literally,  I'm not that vain!! It's about every little mundane thing in the daily life. The thousand details no cis will notice, but that do matter to me. Microaggressions giving death by a thousand cuts)

I will see a different version of myself when I'll look in a mirror in only 2 weeks. I long for that. It's my time as a butterfly to come out of the cocoon. Like you say, I'll get closer to having the body meant for me, and I will have the privilege to feel liberated. (and now I'll be praying I'll be totally passable! it's so weird I'm starting to worry again about that!! Like you said, self esteem!!)

The only reasons that I can think of for FFS regret, aside from complications and a need for revisionary surgery, is if the person is not really female, or if they end up with that "unnatural, overdone, operated on look".

I read that post as well as I'm considering FFS. I didn't really relate to any of it in terms of regrets. She didn't seem like she wanted to look feminine to begin with, and seemed to enjoy her masculine traits. It also seemed like she wasn't ready to live as a woman and had a lot of trepidations.

It sounds like you have more confidence in what you want out of this, and aren't just going thinking of it like buying a item of clothing.

I'm quite sure I have more confidence, but there is always the risk of being mistaken. I trust myself say 99%, not 100% as that would be foolish 

I didn't relate to her regrets either, but I also wanted to know how she felt before the FFS, because it might have been something else (say, what if we had had the exact same feelings before FFS??)

I wasn't the case, so I felt relieved!

Transitioning is a very personal case, highly personal and extremely demanding. In a way you transition for the rest of your life. Basically, it's very much about developing to be the person you deep inside feel you ought to be. I think it is the most important work to start with when transitioning. I can still remember the day I started real-life experience some 13 years ago. After that I spent 4-6 years to establish a psychological self. That was real hard work! To carry out SRS was the most important to me initially as the male genitals caused me a lot of distress. I had FFS on a lower priority initially as I wanted the hormones to be allowed to do the job first.
I've now been on hormones for nearly 13 years. 7 years ago I started to investigate about FFS and ended up deciding to carry out with Dr Suporn in Thailand in 2012. As I learned through the consultation with Dr Suporn that there was a great disrepancy between what he could do and what was promised in advanced I cancelled the surgery due to surgery-specific reasons just a few days before the surgery. A very though decision and a necessary one. I still wanted and needed surgery, but not with Dr Suporn.
A year later I started my evaluation again and started by doing a real close check with myself-what I really needed to change in order to attain my desired facial apperance. I wanted to do what made the greatest change, but not more than that initially. Thereafter moving forward in steps. I found that the upper part of the face is most important and my step after that was to locate a surgeon that could produce consistent, good results of high quality in the upper part of the face with an expression to my liking.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that I think it's wice to decide in advance how far you want to go when it comes to transition and FFS. A great help to me here is to move forward in steps and assess after each step if I want to proceed with more FFS-surgery. I dont think it's wise to do "it all" in one session.
Personally I want FFS(first step) because I truly feel that my facial apperance to day is inhibiting me to be the person I want to be. Mentally I feel a great disrepancy when I look in the mirror and I crave to get my facial apperance corrected in order to feel like an integrated female being-not just on the inside as today.

Hi, Charlotte.

I just wanted to say something, because I've been going through the same worries in regards to surgery. ("Omg, this one person I know had issues with it, does that mean I'm going to have issues too?")

And I can see you going through the exact same mental process that I do, re-checking convictions, making sure that there was some sort of precursor to that person's surgical decision which made their regrets more likely to happen, reassuring yourself that it won't happen to you because you're different.

Remember, everyone else is not you.

One person having surgical regret doesn't mean that you'll have it, even if some of your life experience feels similar, because at the end of the day, we're all different people.

Statistics are important because they show overall trends among those who have indeed decided to have it done, but again, it's important not to obsess too much about one individual person who's had regrets.

Regrets happen with any surgery. It's just the nature of the beast.

In the (few) studies that I've seen on trans women who've had FFS, (specifically I'm talking about the one done by Spiegel following his own patients' outcomes afterward,) the number of trans women who had high self-esteem before FFS or SRS was about 35%. The number after either FFS or SRS who reported high self-esteem rose to about 55%.

So remember, on average, for the average trans woman, FFS is a good investment. So in all likelihood it will also be a good investment for you. But as with any gender-confirming surgery, you're accepting the small risk that you will indeed have regrets afterward.


The things that seem to most consistently be the biggest precursors to issues with post-surgery problems are usually the following:

1. Depression before surgery. Surgery can't fix the mind, it can only fix the body. Out of all of my friends who have gone in for gender-confirming surgery, three of them, FFS for one, SRS for another, and BA for a third, are still having issues with depression and negative self-image post-surgery, which often leads them to have breakdowns where they'll say they regret it. This doesn't mean the surgery wasn't a success. The first friend was CONSTANTLY complaining about being ugly pre-FFS, and now it's changed to just generalized depression. The second friend on the one hand calls her vagina "her most precious possession," but again, her depression just shifted from genital dysphoria to generalized depression where she still hates herself. The third now feels like her breasts are the only part of her that anyone cares about, and she hates the rest of herself even more. Basically, if you're depressed and have critically-low self-esteem before surgery, the odds that you'll still have issues afterward go WAY up. I've yet to see a friend who went into surgery with realistic expectations and reasonable self-esteem have regrets afterward, though.

2. Complications. This is just based on a scientific study which showed that the most common reason for SRS regret was complications. This obviously has nothing to do with whether the surgery was right for them or not in the first place, it just means that sometimes mistakes happen, and people have to live with the results of those mistakes, and it sucks.

3. Having certain kinds of doubts before surgery. Now, when I say "certain kinds of doubts," I'm not talking about all doubts. EVERYONE has doubts before surgery because, well, there's no way at all to be sure of what it will feel like before it actually happens, which understandably makes everyone panic a bit and constantly re-check their convictions to make sure they know what they're doing. Those, I have never seen being a precursor. Those aren't a problem. What IS a problem is doubts over whether you'd rather have a pre-surgery body or a post-surgery body. If you're afraid that you'll miss your old face, or afraid that you'll miss your old genitals, then that is a very legitimate reason to have concerns over possible regret. My post-SRS friend Zoe told me that the reason why she's persevered through her surgical complications and the hassle of recovery was exactly because she knew she didn't miss the old anatomy at all. There was no scenario in which she would prefer to have her old anatomy back. And she asked me when I came to her with my possible SRS doubts, she likewise asked me "is there anything about your old genitals that you'd miss?" And that I believe was a very legitimate question. That question is the one that got me through ALL of transition despite CONSTANTLY having freakouts along the lines of "OMG, do I really know what the hell I'm doing?" I always looked back at old pictures, and ask myself if there was anything about that old self that I missed or that I wanted to go back to. The answer was always no. And so I pressed on. And yes, it ended up being the right decision. I'm at peace with my appearance now, despite having doubts through the entire process, because I was able to realize that those doubts were just generalized anxiety over something new and scary, not actual regrets where I wished I could go back. So ask yourself that. Can you see any possible scenario where you'd miss something about your old face? If the answer is no, the odds of you having regrets are much smaller, because the very definition of regret is wanting something that you once had back.

Hope this has been helpful. This is just my observations from having been here for a couple of years, and having had probably 10+ friends who've had some kind of gender-confirming surgery.

Quote from: Carrie Liz on May 14, 2015, 12:59:47 PM
Can you see any possible scenario where you'd miss something about your old face?

Actually, I do: if the face is paralyzed, insensitive, I think I'd rather have a functional face unless these issues are limited (say only a very small part is insensitive after 2 years). These are my biggest fears.

I also fear a deformity like a big visible scar or an infection during the healing, making one side all swollen up, or hollow. That's one of the reason I don't regret I couldn't pay for chin implants- I'll have a lesser risk of infection.

Maybe my hopes are too high? But it is reassuring to see I'm not the only one having these fears in my mind, besides the other fears of the surgery not happening. (My new fear: someone stole Dr DiMaggio online accounts and this person is scamming me, and when I arrive in Argentina DiMaggio will wonder who the hell I am!!)

Carrie, when did you have your surgeries? What where you thinking about the outcomes and the risks?

I do have my fears, but also a hope in the future. I don't want to bet everything on the FFS. I mean, it's extremely important, but I want to believe I can be normal. I want let myself hope in a happy future. It's relatively new for me. It didn't happen until I could see my boobs lol.

I could be not so sad, but if I didn't go through FFS, I think I would live a life of regret whenever I see a picture of a successful FFS. It's a tough decision. I'll live with the outcomes. Hopefully it will all go well.

Quote from: charlotte15 on May 14, 2015, 02:24:52 PM
Actually, I do: if the face is paralyzed, insensitive, I think I'd rather have a functional face unless these issues are limited (say only a very small part is insensitive after 2 years). These are my biggest fears.

I also fear a deformity like a big visible scar or an infection during the healing, making one side all swollen up, or hollow. That's one of the reason I don't regret I couldn't pay for chin implants- I'll have a lesser risk of infection.

Maybe my hopes are too high? But it is reassuring to see I'm not the only one having these fears in my mind, besides the other fears of the surgery not happening. (My new fear: someone stole Dr DiMaggio online accounts and this person is scamming me, and when I arrive in Argentina DiMaggio will wonder who the hell I am!!)

Carrie, when did you have your surgeries? What where you thinking about the outcomes and the risks?

I do have my fears, but also a hope in the future. I don't want to bet everything on the FFS. I mean, it's extremely important, but I want to believe I can be normal. I want let myself hope in a happy future. It's relatively new for me. It didn't happen until I could see my boobs lol.

I could be not so sad, but if I didn't go through FFS, I think I would live a life of regret whenever I see a picture of a successful FFS. It's a tough decision. I'll live with the outcomes. Hopefully it will all go well.

The thing is, it doesn't sound like you're actually afraid of missing your old face, though, you're just worried about complications.

Again, complications, when they happen, are one of the biggest things that causes regrets, even in people who surgery is very clearly right for. But with any surgery, you just kind of have to live with that risk. It's a small one, but a risk nonetheless.

That last line, though, "if I didn't get FFS I think I would live a life of regret whenever I see a picture of a successful FFS," that right there pretty much shows how you really feel about it. Zoe said pretty much the same thing to me when I was talking to her about my fears of SRS. I said pretty much the exact same thing.

And I wish I could be more help, tell you what it's actually like, but I can't. I still haven't had any gender-confirming surgeries myself, I'm just someone who's wanted them very much, but likewise is now kind of having that freakout-y "OMG this is REAL" thing where I'm constantly re-checking my convictions. So really, I'm only offering the advice that my many friends who have indeed had surgery have given me. I've had 4 friends go through FFS, 3 friends who've had BA, and 6 friends who've had SRS, and they've been very open about sharing their feelings about it with me.

(Of the FFS friends, 3 said that it was an integral part of their transition, it helped significantly ease their passing concerns, and it helped them be more at ease with their own reflections, while one friend is still struggling with depression and self-acceptance afterward, feeling like she's still broken and ugly and worthless despite FFS.)

(Of the BA friends, 2 love it and say it's amazing to finally have boobs, one feels like her boobs are the only good thing about her and she's still mired in depression and self-hatred after it.)

(Of my SRS friends, 5 are completely happy, saying that they love it, they could never even imagine going back, and it's so gratifying to look in the mirror and finally feel complete. One, although she never has anything explicitly negative to say about being post-op, and doesn't regret it, is constantly depressed, and constantly tells me "you know, surgery really doesn't fix anything, it's just an incidental change.")

So yeah, that's where my advice is coming from. And I'm working through the same doubts and fears, so I've spent a lot of time grilling the hell out of every friend I have who's had surgery.

Carry, thanks for your advice and your reassurance. I didn't know that the fear of living a life of regrets was so shared. Still, that's the core of my thoughts when I remove everything else. So I guess I can only cross my fingers now. 2 weeks. I have all the time to go crazy!! I'm monitoring my mailbox every hour to get news from Dr DM (he's in Italy until the end of next week, so the emails stopped and that got me super stressed)

Quote from: charlotte15 on May 14, 2015, 04:02:56 PM
Carry, thanks for your advice and your reassurance. I didn't know that the fear of living a life of regrets was so shared. Still, that's the core of my thoughts when I remove everything else. So I guess I can only cross my fingers now. 2 weeks. I have all the time to go crazy!! I'm monitoring my mailbox every hour to get news from Dr DM (he's in Italy until the end of next week, so the emails stopped and that got me super stressed)

Did he ask you to send him the full amount of the surgery fee, or did he give you the option of paying a deposit now, and the balance when you arrive in Buenos Aires? And how is your apartment search going?  When I went to Thailand, I sent a deposit a couple of months before my surgery date, and I paid the balance with American Express travelers checks, after my first meeting with Dr. Chettawut. 

I paid the deposit fee. I may have found an apartment in Balvanera, I am waiting for the clearance to book it.

It has a very nice fridge for the ice. The shower head is fixed however.  I couldn't find both in the same apartment within my budget, so I decided to prioritize on the ice!

I've been looking into FFS (among all the other things having to do with transitioning) and think it would be a positive step in my personal transition when I take the step of going full time.  I don't know how much I will be doing myself as I think I could probably pass easily with just a little hair line advance or brow lift but I'm waiting to see how I look after I lose a significant amount of weight  before I do any hard evaluation of what I actually need.  In the meantime I have been doing some research into plastic surgery in general  (not just FFS or SRS or VFS) and there is a percentage of patients that will have regrets with just about any surgery they have and I think it really come down to a coupe different factors (baring complications)

1.   Totally unrealistic expectations - André the Giant could never be a clone of Miley Cyrus but some people think it could be done and fully expect this type of amazing transformation to occur in their own surgery only to be disappointed afterwards.

2.   The patent fixates on some minor thing that occurred during surgery – a bad scar, excess swelling etc. – most of these issues correct themselves or could be resolved with simple revision surgery but once the patent fixates on them they usually make it nearly impossible to correct by either avoiding further treatment or not letting themselves see that the issue corrected itself. 

3.   The patient fails to follow through with aftercare protocols leading to poor healing, infection, and necrosis which usually leads to a poor cosmetic outcome

4.   The patient has a fly by night doctor that promises to do anything you want if you can afford it – this type of doctor feeds off patients that have unrealistic expectations

I think if you are realistic in your expectations and go to a reputable doctor and follow all the aftercare protocols you have set yourself up for success.
Personally I don't like looking at myself... it's not that I'm hideous it's that I just don't like how I look I don't feel like the guy in the mirror and I want like the girl that's always been inside of me... she has waited so long to be free and see herself in the mirror after all these years and once I've has FFS and she's free I won't really miss the old me.

I'm not sure what sysm26 objective was in getting FFS. I think this is a super rarity.

But who would complain about looking too feminine?

I don't know, maybe she was not ready to go full time and the successful surgery did wreck her life plans?

Personally, one of the reasons why I changed my plans and went for FFS several months before I had planned was the success of HRT. I mean, good boobs earlier than I though is a blessing! If things can go faster, I'll find a way to make do!

But maybe I do have too high (unrealistic?) expectations: passing all the time without makeup. I pray it will be possible. I hope I will look too feminine, male-fail even at the passport control on the return flight  Well, I can dream. I will see.  I don't know how possible it will be. Even if I'm not Andre The Giant, I have a bony face. But when I decided for FFS, I though very simply that it would be even less possible without FFS.

Anyway, I can hardly believe it's 2 weeks away. I wish it was tomorrow.

Well due to serious laziness and not giving a crap on my part, I have been out of the house numerous times with out makeup, pony tail, yoga T and sweats  and I have yet to be miss-gendered since FFS so it is possible and not as far fetched as you may think. I was as surprised as anybody however that has been my experience and I am just an average girl to boot and not a beauty queen model type

If your presentation and behaviors are truly progressing well then a good FFS result can really move things into an amazing place.

Keep dreaming and shooting for the stars, good luck with your surgery in approx. 2 weeks!

I've definitely had several significant reversals.  One week, I'm anguishing over my manish body, wishing I was on HRT.  The next, and I'm totally fine in my body, glad that I haven't started and unhappy that I'm out to some friends.  I'm concerned that I'll be unhappy half the time, no matter what I do.

So FFS is right out, for now.

For me, I look in the mirror and see what should have been.
I pinch myself, I actually have to look again and again to think its real .
FFS for me best day of my life
Dodie

Quote from: charlotte15 on May 17, 2015, 10:35:49 PM
But maybe I do have too high (unrealistic?) expectations: passing all the time without makeup. I pray it will be possible. I hope I will look too feminine, male-fail even at the passport control on the return flight  Well, I can dream.

Depending on everything else about you if you can sort of pass with makeup now its not an unrealistic expectation to pass without makeup and that's certainly achievable even for someone with a facial bone structure like André (probably not of his size though but then again no amount of makeup would help with that either) it just may take some additional steps to get to that point.   Depending on how long after FFS your return flight is your likely to be a male-fail at the airport but you could look like a woman who was recently beat up or mugged instead of the super feminine super model we all wish we were in our dreams.  I think you will do well and be very happy with the results because you seem to have realistic expectations.