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Do I really look that manly and unpassable.? Got clocked twice today.

Started by PsychedelicSage, May 26, 2015, 02:34:41 PM

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PsychedelicSage

So I've been out of hormones for about two weeks, and in a desperate attempt to stop myself from getting ugly again I started taking an herbal supplement for menopausal women. Thankfully I'm getting more hormones this week. But my confidence has been extremely low since I ran out of my hormones, I have a lot of trouble being at all confident without them  :(

I'm on a social networking site called Meetme, and I usually never get clocked since I started using the first picture I have down below. I actually get a lot of men telling me they want to eat me out and things like that, excuse the TMI lol.
But I got clocked twice today, once by a man who was a bit of a jerk so I didn't really care what he thought of me (I have no attraction to men anyway), but the other person was a girl, she told me I "look trans" and that she could tell I'm transgender.

Yes I've only been on hormones for about five weeks, and expecting to be anywhere near passable after just five weeks of hormones is really unrealistic, especially considering how horribly ugly and masculine I was before I started hormones.

But I thought I was pretty passable and looked good. Am I just being deluded.? Do I really look that manly and gross, and do I really "look trans".? What exactly is wrong with me that makes me "look trans" or look manly? Please be honest with me, I can take it. Here's my photo, the one I have as my profile pic on Meetme:





Here's another one with a different expression and a better angle:




Started HRT on 4-14-15 but it was DIY.
Started real prescribed HRT on 7-22-15 c:
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Eveline

Honey I think you look really cute in these pix and don't see any strongly masculine features at all from the front. Maybe a profile photo would help us comment more?

Sometimes it not facial features that people react to at all - it could be facial expression, voice, posture, gait and other mannerisms. If you're not feeling confident, it will show up in all of the above...
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PsychedelicSage

Thank you.  :)

And no I was only clocked by my pictures. My personality/mannerisms/walk are all extremely feminine, and my voice sounds decently good considering I'm self taught and can't afford a voice coach.

Here's a couple other photos, including profile shots:













Started HRT on 4-14-15 but it was DIY.
Started real prescribed HRT on 7-22-15 c:
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Eveline

OK, sorry, now I understand. Clocked from photos only.

Well, I looked at all of your photos and, to me, your facial features are well within the feminine range. Even the cleft in your chin is common in some very attractive models.

Also, you have beautiful skin. :)

Sometimes people are just mean...
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PsychedelicSage

Quote from: Eveline on May 26, 2015, 03:17:50 PM
OK, sorry, now I understand. Clocked from photos only.

Well, I looked at all of your photos and, to me, your facial features are well within the feminine range. Even the cleft in your chin is common in some very attractive models.

Also, you have beautiful skin. :)

Sometimes people are just mean...

Haha thank you!(x

Yes haha, I'm very lucky because I'm able to make the cleft work and look cute. It's also because HRT reduced my cleft by a bit, which is strange. o.o

Yeah I guess I'm just being too hard on myself.. Considering I literally looked disfigured before I began HRT, it's a miracle my hormones have affected me anywhere near this fast. I've never heard of a trans girl having HRT results this fast. I look like I've had extensive surgery when I compare an old photo of me from before HRT to one of the photos I posted here after just five weeks. I should seriously count my lucky chickens instead of being oversensitive because two people over the course of like a month clocked me, out of the probably thousands of people that viewed my profile.

I just get very emotional, self conscious, and oversensitive without my hormones. Estrogen makes most other people emotional. It actually does the opposite for me, it calms me down and keeps my emotions in check. High levels of testosterone are what makes me emotional, actually.

Before hormones, I depended on the opinions of other people for my own self worth, which did not work out so well because I was so severely ugly and completely friendless. Not fun. xD
When I was on hormones I didn't really care what anyone thought of me, as long as I was happy with myself and had at least a couple of friends.
But now without my hormones I'm starting to go back to depending on the opinions of other people to form my own self worth.

Whatever, I'll survive a couple more days without hormones.

Thank you I really needed that !  :laugh:
Started HRT on 4-14-15 but it was DIY.
Started real prescribed HRT on 7-22-15 c:
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Ms Grace

I wouldn't worry about what some people - male or female - say online. Some people are intentionally horrible, and that woman may say that to every other woman she sees as attractive just to mess with them.
Grace
----------------------------------------------
Transition 1.0 (Julie): HRT 1989-91
Self-denial: 1991-2013
Transition 2.0 (Grace): HRT June 24 2013
Full-time: March 24, 2014 :D
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mfox

I'm super envious of your "starting" point, you're doing so well.  After almost 6 months of HRT though, I can see a few slightly-clockable features that will change.  You still have some visible neck/chest muscle and contours, and since your skin hasn't "plumped up" with fat padding yet to smooth it out, it can still look androgynous in a top like that.   Also the short hair of course, it's gorgeous, but also androgynous.  Sometimes people will clock andro as male, but don't take it personally.
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PsychedelicSage

Haha thanks. c: My neck and chest aren't anywhere near as muscley as they were before HRT.. I've lost roughly 35% of the muscle I used to have there. And my biceps used to have a circumference of over 16 inches, now they're at 13 inches.

I don't see how short hair with a barette in it and a bandana through it is anywhere near androgynous.. xD I mean if I had no hair accessories in it, yeah, that would look androgynous. Hence one reason why I have accessories in it at all times.

The strange thing is, I look MUCH more masculine with longer hair, believe it or not.
Started HRT on 4-14-15 but it was DIY.
Started real prescribed HRT on 7-22-15 c:
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Eveline

Quote from: PsychedelicSage on May 26, 2015, 04:26:02 PM
... The strange thing is, I look MUCH more masculine with longer hair, believe it or not.

Me too. i always wear it up.
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Auroramarianna

The problem is the photo angle and how you are dressed - sexy. Don't wear sexy in the first months, this will get you clocked. Sexy is just for special occasions, so when somebody wears sexy, it just shows and attracts negative attention which means more scrutinity, therefore clocked. Also, your frame looks larger because you took the photo bottom-up, it makes your shoulder look large and emphasizes your neck. Just wear nice, low key girl clothes, center the photo on your face and you should have no trouble at all! Your face looks very feminine already.
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Marly

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Katiepie

I see a pretty girl in all your pictures.

The internet, or at least the majority of it you just gotta take with a grain of salt. Sometimes people are out there just to mess with anyone, and in a daze from boredom or spite.
My life motto: Wake Up and BE Awesome!

"Every minute of your life that you allow someone to dictate your emotions, is a minute of your life you are allowing them to control you." - a dear friend of mine.

Stay true to yourself no matter the consequence, for this is your life, your decision, your trust in which will shape your future. Believe in yourself, if you don't then no one will.
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Dena

I would get spotted right off in that top because my shoulders are broad so I need something with sleeves. When shoulder pads were the thing, first thing I would do was to rip them out. The garments still fit correctly with my body filling in the space were the pads used to be.

Another issue I have is a big chest cavity. It's not so big that it prevented me from wearing a bikini but I wasn't next to a GG in the same outfit were somebody could compare the two. Only reason I think I got away with the bikini is because I do have big hips that balance out the shoulders. it works when you are almost naked but not so well when wearing clothes.

I am a bit surprised I didn't see it here, but it was well known in our group that you only need to look at the hands to see if the other person is TS. After years of fitting gloves on both genders I can say it's absolutely true. GG hands almost always take a glove size 8 or less where as men are around 10 or higher. Also a woman has thin and delicate hands were a man has chunky muscular hands. Is that always true? No and that was why we had to carry all sizes from 6 to 12 including the half sizes.

Can you do anything about the hands - no other than if you think somebody is looking hold one hand inside the other so they don't get a good look. My hands are on the small size of the male range so that helps but if I put my had up agains a small woman hand, mine are about an inch longer.
Rebirth Date 1982 - PMs are welcome - Use [email]dena@susans.org[/email] or Discord if your unable to PM - Skype is available - My Transition
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PsychedelicSage

Well I'm not going to dress like I'm going to a funeral lol! I couldn't pull off dressing androgynously either, I would look straight up androgynous. I like to dress really girly. If I don't I'll probably be seen as a "gay guy". And I don't even dress exactly like that when I actually go out, it's mainly just for taking pictures or sitting around the house or hanging out at a friend's house. When I go out I usually wear white leggings, a long white cami, and a tight black hoodie unzipped a third of the way or this black shirt:



My body actually looks extremely feminine. I just didn't take totally full body pics, you can't really see my hips in those pictures. I actually have a great figure for only five weeks of HRT (my body did not have a single curve ANYWHERE before), my measurements are in my signature. It's mostly my face that I'm worried about. Not so much anymore because of everyone on this thread c: This is kind of a full body shot, keep in mind it's taken from above so my shoulders look a bit bigger than they are. Not wearing a corset or anything in this one:




And actually I have small hands.. my hands are about the size of my mother's and she's a small woman. My hands aren't even that muscular xD But like I said, after a longer time on HRT the muscles even in my hands should reduce at least a little bit.

Started HRT on 4-14-15 but it was DIY.
Started real prescribed HRT on 7-22-15 c:
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BenKenobi

To be honest, your chest is a giveaway. Your chin could be too but eh, not as much. Really all you need is some time. Your chest will fill out and you'll be clocked less often if at all. If you want you could just wear certain bras that would give you more form for now.
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PsychedelicSage

Ah okay. How exactly is my chest a giveaway.? It doesn't look masculine at all to me.

I've seen genetic women with FAR worse chins than me actually lol..

My chin is a hundred times better than it used to be though.

*cringes* Here's a pic of me pre HRT, prepare to puke in your mouth a little, lmfao.  :laugh:




Started HRT on 4-14-15 but it was DIY.
Started real prescribed HRT on 7-22-15 c:
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CarlyMcx

No, you don't look manly or unpassable.  You just hit two potholes in life's road on the same day.
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BenKenobi

It does to me because probably a combination of dress and just not developed fully yet. You have a cute face and pretty eyes though. Maybe a bit more colored shadow to bring more attention to your eyes. Another thing that helped me personally was a different pair of glasses. It enhances certain features. Women tend to have more roundish features while men are...blocky.

I draw a lot and i give art advice for my current job position so this is strictly from that ang


Also i find you pretty attractive in that pic but that's me.
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katrinaw

Hi PsychedelicSage, I reckon your pics are georgeous... I don't pick anything to get concerned over...

Beautiful...


L Katy  :-*
Long term MTF in transition... HRT since ~ 2003...
Journey recommenced Sept 2015  :eusa_clap:... planning FT 2016  :eusa_pray:

Randomly changing 'Katy PIC's'

Live life, embrace life and love life xxx
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michelle

You look beautiful to my old eyes,  but I guess that any of us could be picked apart if put under a microscope.   Just be your feminine self every minute that you can and more and more people will just accept you for the beautiful woman that you are, and whatever male characteristics that remain will be lost in your feminine beauty.   I am just disappearing into becoming an invisible old granny who most people do not see anyway.   Good luck and be happy.   A good part of not being clocked is not reacting when you think you are, so that people will second guess there guess, and only see the female in you.
Be true to yourself.  The future will reveal itself in its own due time.    Find the calm at the heart of the storm.    I own my womanhood.

I am a 69-year-old transsexual school teacher grandma & lady.   Ethnically I am half Irish  and half Scandinavian.   I can be a real bitch or quite loving and caring.  I have never taken any hormones or had surgery, I am out 24/7/365.
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