I've been having these thoughts that I'm not as convincing as my other trans friends, and that I don't stand a chance at passing in public. So living my life the way I'd like to feels nearly impossible at this point, and I just want to be like them because I know it'll make me happy. I know it's unfair to compare myself to them, because they started transitioning before I met them, and I've cried about this for a long time. As of late I've felt better about this, and stopped crying so much. I don't know exactly what it is I'm trying to figure out for myself, and that bugs me a little, but I do know that this is the kind of problem that I want to solve without surgeries, because I'm sure I can feel better if I had all the answers I need. again I don't know exactly what it is that's bothering me so much, but I figured I might feel better about putting this out there so that it's not just in my head.

Hi Deborah. Welcome to Susan's. 

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I had the same feelings you did before I transitioned. I didn't want surgery (still don't), and thought I wouldn't pass without it. I didn't believe it the first time it was obvious I'd pass.

I can't promise that'll happen for you. I will say, that I know many non-passing women who are very beautiful and very happy with their transitions, so passing is not a requirement for a satisfactory transition.

You're a wonderful, unique person. You can't compare yourself to other people. You have amazing qualities they don't, and they'll always have abilities you don't. It's a challenge for every woman to learn to love herself as she is.

I hope this helps.

Hi Deborah, welcome to Susan's. It's amazing how much we wrap emotionally into our transitions and therapists are great to help us. I look forward to seeing you around the site. Good luck and Hugs
Mariah