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Does my brain think my penis is a vagina lol

Started by Crystal1556, June 02, 2015, 10:57:24 AM

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Crystal1556

Ok so the subject heading may be a little off, I have tried to find information on the different sensations experienced in the Gentiles of mtf pre-op women. Getting tired of googling (as you do) I thought I'd ask out rite and share my own experience.

I have been on hormones for about 8 months and almost immediately felt a change in the way my Gentiles feel/react to touch, it's like a completely new body part & I have a new found love for it. The underside of my scrotum is extremely sensitive & sensual/erotic to the touch & I can climax without ejaculation from rubbing the tip as if it was a clitoris. Don't treat me like some
Kind of pervert because I am not!! In fact prior to starting treatment I had little to no sex drive & struggled to get let alone maintain an erection. I'm not sure how much if this is phsyco logical & would love to hear your thoughts 😊 thanks ladies
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awilliams1701

Depends on the day and my mood, but yeah I've been completely convinced a few times.
Ashley
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Crystal1556

Thanks for the reply & for being so open 😊
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Tessa James

I frequently experienced the sensation, during coitus, that my penis was inside of me.  So yes, I think our very creativity and coping skills come into play as well as our gender identity.

While we live in a sex saturated culture there really is not much honest serious discussion without joking, innuendo and giggling in the hall kind of behavior.

We are sexual beings and having a full rich love life seems normal and desirable to me.  The pervy parts come from isolation, ignorance and hypocrisy.  Our libido and sensations may be profoundly impacted by transition.  My desire for intimacy, romance and love remains unchanged.
Open, out and evolving queer trans person forever with HRT support since March 13, 2013
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Crystal1556

Thanks Tessa, I would love to hear from more people about this. Do you think that nerves wich lay dormant in the male body activate when the correct hormones are introduced ??

Thank you all, I need to feel like I'm a part of a community, it can be so lonely living this life.
Peace & love to you all xxx
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Tessa James

Wouldn't it be fun and informative to have a before and after transition neural body mapping image??  I would gladly volunteer if some research like that was/is available.

Till then we must feel our way to success ;)
Open, out and evolving queer trans person forever with HRT support since March 13, 2013
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CaitlinE

Quote from: Crystal1556 on June 02, 2015, 12:15:32 PMI would love to hear from more people about this. Do you think that nerves wich lay dormant in the male body activate when the correct hormones are introduced ??

It may be interesting to spend some time looking through anatomy texts and reading about sexual differentiation in humans and other mammals.  Allow me, if you will, a moment to nerd out before answering.

Male and female bodies are generally built pretty similar with (comparatively) relatively minor differences in shape.  For example, the dorsal nerve of the clitoris and the dorsal nerve of the penis are both the terminus of the pudendal nerve.  So it seems probable that, say, the FtM phenomena of phantom boner sensations has little to do with nerve dormancy and reactivation and more to do with how the brain interprets the sensations received.  In particular, boners and other phantom genital sensations are reported by pre-HRT trans individuals as well as individuals on HRT.  Similarly, the ilioinguinal nerve branches into the anterior labial and scrotal nerves and the posterior labial and scrotal nerves are branches of the pudendal.  I've not gone for SRS consults as yet but presumably this is one reason why MtF penile inversion surgeries form the labia from scrotal tissue.

The main area where sex related switching occurs in mammals is the paramesonephric (ovaries to vagina) and mesonephric (testicular hook up) ducts.  Along with the gonads these form an individual's primary sex characteristics, though both sexes retain portions of both ducts.  T acts to boost the mesonephric (masculinization) and anti-Müllerian hormone (AMH) suppresses the paramesonephric (defeminization).  SRY (the male coding gene on the Y chromosome) triggers both T and AMH expression as well as telling the gonads to be come testes rather than ovaries.  The majority of changes in duct morphology happen in the area innervated by another branch of the pudendal nerve---the deep perineal---which kind of is along for the ride as the area changes shape.  So, while my developmental anatomy is not the greatest, I'm willing to posit there's a post-penile to lower vagina wiring equivalence analogous to penis-clitoris and labial-scrotal innervation.

I've experienced, at times, sensations similar to what Tessa describes.  My hypothesis for explaining this is there's the same gender specific processing in the brain for sensation from the deep perineal as there is for the dorsal and scrotal/labial branches of the pudendal.  If that's correct, then it would follow such sensations are also not about neural dormancy and hormonal activation.  I find it a bit scary the extent to which this aligns with the theory FtMs have male brains in female bodies and MtFs female brains in male bodies.  But whether there's any plausible connection with BSTc or INAH 3 is beyond my neural anatomy.

Quote from: Tessa James on June 02, 2015, 01:56:27 PMWouldn't it be fun and informative to have a before and after transition neural body mapping image?

It would!  I wonder if there might not be much difference between the before and after images---perhaps they would tend to be similar to cis persons of the felt gender rather than those of the birth assigned sex.
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orangejuice

Yep. The sensation that my penis is actually a vagina is the single hardest part of this dysphoria for me. I've had that odd phantom feeling since I was young. It's the most baffling thing for me to understand and the hardest part of this for me to live with. it makes sex impossible. Sorry to get graphic but the only way I've ever had an orgasm in my entire life is to imagine that phantom part being penetrated. And that includes dreaming.

How on earth does that make any sense?

Interesting reading the comments above. I may finally be coming round to the idea that I have a female brain in a male body. I've been reluctant to say that, because I've tried desperately to explain and find reasons for everything I feel and have felt in my life. But I'm at a loss with the phantom parts feeling. It simply can have no explanation in terms of things I may have picked up from my environment. Like Caitlin says above it is explained scarily well to say it is because my brain is female but my body is male.
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CaitlinE

Quote from: orangejuice on June 02, 2015, 08:42:55 PMit makes sex impossible

Good grief, tell me about it.  I spent a good portion of my first consensual sexual experiences reciting to myself over and over in my head "I'm not here.  This isn't real.  It's not happening to me."  And then I wondered why my partners weren't happy.  It's not frustrating missing out on something so mutually unsatisfactory but I really can't see being in a typical romantic relationship until post-op.  That's kind of depressing though I'm OK with it for now; too many other life changes coming to be looking for someone special at the moment.  Trying to figure out the science is interesting and fun, though.
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VeronicaLynn

Quote from: Crystal1556 on June 02, 2015, 10:57:24 AM
Ok so the subject heading may be a little off, I have tried to find information on the different sensations experienced in the Gentiles of mtf pre-op women. Getting tired of googling (as you do) I thought I'd ask out rite and share my own experience.

I have been on hormones for about 8 months and almost immediately felt a change in the way my Gentiles feel/react to touch, it's like a completely new body part & I have a new found love for it. The underside of my scrotum is extremely sensitive & sensual/erotic to the touch & I can climax without ejaculation from rubbing the tip as if it was a clitoris. Don't treat me like some
Kind of pervert because I am not!! In fact prior to starting treatment I had little to no sex drive & struggled to get let alone maintain an erection. I'm not sure how much if this is phsyco logical & would love to hear your thoughts 😊 thanks ladies

You seem to be wired somewhat similarly to me. I'm not on HRT, but the underside of my scrotum is very sensitive. I'm curious, did you explore this area prior to HRT? I didn't explore this area much prior to coming out of denial...but I also vaguely recall this area being one of the first areas I noticed being sensitive in puberty...
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Tessa James

Quote from: orangejuice on June 02, 2015, 08:42:55 PM

How on earth does that make any sense?


Great line!!  Not making any sense is a likely factor for many of us in not finding easy acceptance for what seems, at first blush, impossible.  I don't know why I am this way.   its simply the way I was born.
Open, out and evolving queer trans person forever with HRT support since March 13, 2013
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Crystal1556

Thank you all so much for taking the time to respond.

I did not experience this before hrt. Only thing my scrotum ever needed before was scratching lmfao, now it's a whole new experience. However I will never forget when I was going
Through puberty I had the most vivid dream I had a vagina & it was being penetrated, the strange part is I could feel it & it was like nothing id experienced before! So much so I woke from my dream & for a split second I could still feel this sensation. Only thing that comes close is the sensations I feel in my Genitles & nipples/ breasts since starting
Hrt.
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Jenna Marie

I think all of this is just strengthening the case that a lot of sex is in the head and not the crotch. :) Which is a GOOD thing for anyone whose genitals don't match what they need or expect; it means the brain can go a long way towards "mental remapping" even if the body doesn't change. As Caitlin says, many of the nerves are the same, so it's mostly an issue of redefining the sensations coming from them.

(Personally, yes, I started to feel more and more as if my body reacted like a woman's even pre-GRS. Post-op, I honestly think that helped my brain rewire to correctly identify where all the nerves were now located - it only took only a day or two before I could accurately identify an itch as coming from my labia, for example.)
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rachel89

This happens to me too. When I realized this I was a little bit freaked out, but it doesn't seem unheard of with trans women


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Joi

I know this is somewhat graphic, but hopefully will not offend.  I do think it follows the discussion though.  I was born with a condition named "hypospadias"  This condition is not rare and it varies from mild to severe. Fortunately for me, mine is mild. It has been called an "intersex" condition and I have seen reference to the fact that "many" TG females have the condition.  It is a condition that results in not one but two exit points for fluid on the corona of the penis separated by a thin membrane. I have often felt, concurrent with my gender dysphoria, that It was a failed representation of the female urethra and the vagina. That's what my brain says to me. 


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