Nitrogen,
I am more along the lines of Dena's room mate. Only just realized at 50. However, I struggled with cross dressing since I was 9 or so. I think the interest to cross dress is not really that unusual a few times. However, if it has been with you and seems to keep coming back, chances are it will never completely go away.
Transgender is such a huge umbrella term that it covers a lot of ground. It is okay to be unsure. Especially at your age. A therapist might help. Just because you are sexually oriented to women does not preclude you from being transgender, anywhere on it's spectrum.
Many cross dressers are happy being a man but like to dress in women's clothes some of the time. Then when they have done that are happy to go back to work and their lives as a man.
It has taken me till now to realize that dressing up does not have to be a sexual kink. I only recently embraced the realization that I never like to go back to the man role. I am still doing it outwardly but don't like it.
I am not saying you have to come down on one side or another right now. I am saying there is a lot of variation. it is a little confusing and easy to get lost(my wife asked lately, " So if you are really a female deep down, but you want to stay with me, does that make you gay?) Try to keep a sense of humour, an open mind, a sense of wonder and explore. It's okay to be lost for a little while. It lets you see a place you've never been before. Look around and ask for help when you need it.
You are not alone. Many here started questioning in ways like you. But everyone's path is different.
With warmth,
Joanna